# Darwin Award Winners: Fourth of July Specials **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 4, 2007, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494 "2007-07-04T13:40:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/41 "2007-07-05T14:48:58Z")
[QUOTE=Joey P] I’m guessing by ‘commercial grade’ they meant something like this [Fireworks in New Milford, PA | The Best Fireworks | Spectacular Fireworks](http://www.superpyro.com/images_2/large_images/StarCruiser_Large.jpg). [/QUOTE] [That’s 2¼" in diameter](https://www.blackcatfireworks.com/pc-432-26-star-cruiser-artillery-shell.aspx). [This is the sort of setup the woman put her head over](http://www.merlin-fireworks.co.uk/image/mill3.jpg), presumably the 3s are the ones in front of the guy in the green cap. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/42 "2007-07-05T15:16:22Z")
Lots of preschoolers were wandering around with sparklers at our town’s fireworks gathering. No f’n way would I do that with mine. There was a place out in South Dakota that used to ship quasi-professional-grade fireworks out of state. When my BIL was 14 he bought several cartons’ worth (MIL was rather exceedingly lax) and, despite his intentions, managed to use most of them before July 4th. He did hang on to his chrysanthemum, though. It _was_ real. He set it in the middle of their court (they lived on a dead-end street), lit the fuse… boom… **BOOM!** I could feel it in my sternum (from 30’ back, I wasn’t getting near). Sucker completely filled the sky, from one neighbor’s rooftop to the other. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/43 "2007-07-05T15:22:09Z")
So just to return to the nature of the injury for a moment, I think I’d be right in assuming that if you’re leaning right over one of these when it goes off, it’s either going to drive the shell right through your head, or it’s going to embed it deep in your face, where it will explode moments later. Either way, I think that qualifies as ‘blowing your head off’. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/44 "2007-07-05T15:24:26Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] … but also.. this just isn’t funny. Dumbasses killing themselves in stupidly predictable and reckless ways can be funny. Mothers being killed in front of their children by what amounts to a stupid accident, is not. [/QUOTE] How is this not predictable and reckless? [QUOTE=Scubaqueen] \ what a lot of these geniuses don’t seem to comprehend is - (as has already clearly been stated in this thread) they’re EXPLOSIVES!! scares the crap out of me when i think about it. \ [/QUOTE] Fireworks are not explosives. They wouldn’t burn as pretty if they were. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/45 "2007-07-05T15:30:04Z")
[QUOTE=Pygmy Rugger] How is this not predictable and reckless? [/QUOTE] Dunno - it sounds more like a momentary lapse of judgment, or even just a complete misunderstanding (maybe she didn’t realise what was going on, or that the thing had been lit, or that she was standing over it - it was dark, after all) - it just doesn’t seem like the same class of stupidity and recklessness as many of the famous Darwin Award nominees. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/46 "2007-07-05T15:44:52Z")
[QUOTE=Pygmy Rugger] Fireworks are not explosives. [/QUOTE] [Tell that to the Postal Service.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Explosives_shipping_classification_system) Explosives come in three classes: A (TNT, dynamite), B (flash powder, professional-grade fireworks), and C (consumer-grade fireworks). These things are _dangerous_ for people who don’t know what they’re doing; they can cause the loss of a hand or, in the case of Ms. Barse, a face. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/47 "2007-07-05T16:03:43Z")
[QUOTE=e-logic] Given the comments about the “catastrophic” head injury, I’d say it’s more likely they got their brains from their mother… (yeah, I know… I’ll get my coat) [/QUOTE] Ok, they probably got SOME of their mom’s brains. Come to think of it, that anti-drug egg-frying pan PSA would probably work just as well for fireworks: “This is your brain. THIS is your brain after a morter blast.” ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/48 "2007-07-05T16:59:43Z")
[QUOTE=Pygmy Rugger] Fireworks are not explosives. They wouldn’t burn as pretty if they were. [/QUOTE] In Canada they are indeed classified as explosives and at the time that I got my certificaton for commercial grade fireworks, I had to take a course and be certified through Explosives Regulatory Division (ERD) of the Ministry of Natural Resources Canada. (Although it had a different name at the time.) > [@JoeyP](#): > > JI’m guessing by ‘commercial grade’ they meant something like this [Fireworks in New Milford, PA | The Best Fireworks | Spectacular Fireworks](http://www.superpyro.com/images_2/l...uiser_Large.jpg). No the packaging says “professional effects” but it is not professional, commerical grade. The easiest way to tell commercial-grade high-level fireworks from the legal stuff you can buy without a lience or certification is because the commercial grade expressly does not have pretty packaging. It all look like brown paper bag stuff. It looks more like [this: linkety link.](http://english.people.com.cn/200612/26/images/1225_B26.jpg) Brown paper balls. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/49 "2007-07-05T17:14:51Z")
Okay, looked up the U.S. version… Like Canada, fireworks are regulated as explosives by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Commerical-grade fireworks are “Explosives Class 1.3G” and commercial fireworks (the ones you can buy at the store) are “Explosives Class 1.4G”. Also like in Canada, to purchase commercial-grade fireworks you must have a permit from the ATFE. To set them off, it looks like you need to be qualified to meet “NFPA 1126.2006 national fire codes for Standards for the use of Pyrotechnics before a Proximate Audience” and you get that by taking a state licence exam. ETA: Also both Canada and the U.S. require you to get a permit for the actual show, usually from a fire marshal or equivalent, and here (Canada) we also need to get $1million insurance (which isn’t as scary as it sounds, it usually costs $500-$1,000). ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/50 "2007-07-05T17:27:47Z")
I should note that the A/B/C division I mentioned earlier has been superceded by A/B/C/D/G/N/S. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/51 "2007-07-05T18:07:55Z")
It’s easy for even intelligent people to do stupid things. I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person. Nevertheless, years ago, when I was about 19, I was firing off bottle rockets into an empty field by placing the sticks into actual glass coke bottles. This was going fine until I lit one bottle rocket and dropped it into the bottle, only to realize as the rocket itself _fell completely into the bottle_ that the stick was missing! :eek: I have no excuse for doing such a stupid thing, other than it was dark and I was distracted. Fortunately for me and the people nearby, I’m capable of quick action. I instantly realized that when the rocket exploded, it was likely to send glass shrapnel in all directions. I quickly grabbed the bottle and threw it like a grenade as far as could into the empty field. A few seconds later, the rocket exploded, and sure enough glass went everywhere. Based on how far out I had to pick up pieces of glass, the “blast radius” was about 20 feet. To this day, I shudder to think what would have happened if I had reacted a bit slower or if the fuse had been a bit shorter. It would have been particularly bad if my homemade grenade had gone off in my hand during my throwing motion. :eek: The lesson here is that fireworks, glass, and stupidity don’t mix. ---
**Author:** ![T\_SQUARE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de053/32.png) [@T\_SQUARE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T_SQUARE)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/52 "2007-07-05T18:17:02Z")
The one time I’ve seen an unexploded class B up close, it had a 2 or 3 foot length of fuse, but it burned within a second. I think it suppose to be ignited electrically, like a model rocket. Could the lady have had something like that, and not known the fuse wasn’t garden variety? ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/53 "2007-07-05T18:36:33Z")
Classified smashified. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/54 "2007-07-05T18:52:05Z")
[QUOTE=Pygmy Rugger] Classified smashified. [/QUOTE] Okay, how do you suppose those pretty colors get shot up and spread out? Magic ghosts? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/55 "2007-07-05T22:59:44Z")
[QUOTE=Pygmy Rugger] Fireworks are not explosives. [/QUOTE] What are they then? A dessert topping? Things that ignite or detonate and go boom=explosives, by any reasonable definition ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/56 "2007-07-06T02:49:08Z")
It’s stories like this I wish there was a standard response to run the kids into the hospital and give them a solid dose of Versed. They go under. They wake up hours later, and the event’s no longer in their memories. No one deserves to see something like that, and those kids are likely to be messed up beyond belief. Of course, it’s probably not an effect dependable enough for that sort of thing. Too bad. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/57 "2007-07-06T11:19:07Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Dunno - it sounds more like a momentary lapse of judgment, or even just a complete misunderstanding (maybe she didn’t realise what was going on, or that the thing had been lit, or that she was standing over it - it was dark, after all) - it just doesn’t seem like the same class of stupidity and recklessness as many of the famous Darwin Award nominees. [/QUOTE] To me it seems the same as walking across a busy road without looking or cleaning a gun without checking if it’s loaded. Guiven that fireworks are only used by the public on a couple of occasions a year, the casualty rate is high. For example, during 2002-2005, **after decades of safety advice** , there were [an average of over 1000 injuries in Great Britain](http://www.cgsystems.co.uk/ncfs/index.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494/58 "2007-07-06T11:26:13Z")
[QUOTE=glee] To me it seems the same as walking across a busy road without looking or cleaning a gun without checking if it’s loaded. [/QUOTE] Yes, a lapse (or failure) of judgment. Not really the same thing - to my mind - as getting drunk and saying “Hey!, let’s go and kick that bear! What could possibly go wrong?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darwin-award-winners-fourth-of-july-specials/410494.md?page=2)