# Date with a 'believer' who lost her sister, and is "sure she will see her again". **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 9, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214 "2012-03-09T00:24:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/122 "2013-11-23T10:32:32Z")
I just Googled “MyFootsZZZ” and the first thing listed was a post in [giraffeboards.com](http://giraffeboards.com) that has a thread about me with a link to this thread. Since this might be the first thing people read about me when they look up my handle; I would just like to make it clear that I learned a lot from this thread. I was wrong, and I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/123 "2013-11-23T11:59:27Z")
Bumping a thread you are ashamed of is a great way to make sure nobody sees it. You sure have learned a lot 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/124 "2013-11-23T12:10:48Z")
Heh. True **drewtwo99**. I am ashamed of it… but it happened. My life is pretty well documented on these boards, and I’ve made some mistakes and have said some stupid things. I guess I was just shocked to learn that this was people’s first exposer to MyFootsZZZ if they google it… (which a few people have from another message board). I don’t mind if someone sees it, despite being ashamed of it. I just wanted to be clear that I’m not that type of person, and I’ve learned. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/125 "2013-11-23T12:21:12Z")
How did the date go? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/126 "2013-11-23T12:24:54Z")
Be kind, & keep your trap shut. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/127 "2013-11-23T12:29:15Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > How did the date go? I actually ended up telling her that I wasn’t ready to date anyone. Probably the best thing I could have done. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/128 "2013-11-23T13:05:31Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > I actually ended up telling her that I wasn’t ready to date anyone. Probably the best thing I could have done. I guess so. Here’s some advice though, and take it for what it’s worth from a complete stranger on the internet: relationships are all about compromises, try and put yourself in her shoes (not literally, at least to begin with 🙂 ), think about what will make her happy, make your company a good place to be. She’ll be thinking along similar lines about you, otherwise why try and tentatively make a relationship in the first place? More simply - recognise that the other person is just that. A human being who has hopes and fears and hangups and beliefs that are just as strong as yours, just inevitably not the same ones. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/129 "2013-11-23T13:25:51Z")
[QsinceBaron Greenback;16873061]I guess so. Here’s some advice though, and take it for what it’s worth from a complete stranger on the internet: relationships are all about compromises, try and put yourself in her shoes (not literally, at least to begin with 🙂 ), think about what will make her happy, make your company a good place to be. She’ll be thinking along similar lines about you, otherwise why try and tentatively make a relationship in the first place? More simply - recognise that the other person is just that. A human being who has hopes and fears and hangups and beliefs that are just as strong as yours, just inevitably not the same ones. [/QUOTE] I agree. I have since dated other women. Religion never comes up. And I’m much more open to different types of people then I used to be. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/130 "2013-11-23T14:08:13Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Until there’s proof about what happens after death, it’s not ignorance but a difference in opinion. I’m against the OP’s proposal, but I’d also take exception to what you just said. There seems to be this tendency to think that if we don’t know what will happen, we’re licensed to believe whatever we want. But that’s not true. It depends on the context, but in general, the question isn’t “do we know what will happen” but rather, “you say X will happen, but what is your evidence?” If no one has good evidence either way, then the proper response isn’t to believe whatever you want, but just to _withhold judgment_ and say _I am not in a position to know._ ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/131 "2013-11-23T14:35:26Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I’m against the OP’s proposal, but I’d also take exception to what you just said. (…)\* “Just” = over a year ago. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/132 "2013-11-23T19:59:42Z")
Perhaps you would do well to avoid a situation like this, where someone wants to date a believeing Catholic very very badly. Shel’ll eventually find out. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/CzLLjto3oLE/hqdefault.jpg "Extras - Catholic scene") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzLLjto3oLE) ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/133 "2013-11-23T21:57:37Z")
What does the latest edition of The Official Atheist Handbook ™ say about exhuming a long deceased equine for a well-deserved sound thrashing? I have an older edition that doesn’t seem to cover that topic. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/134 "2013-11-24T00:39:51Z")
Live and learn. Sounds like you’ve done both. Time to move past it! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/135 "2013-11-24T01:29:53Z")
And here I was thinking that the thread got bumped to tell us that they are now happily married and the OP is a born again Christian! ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/136 "2013-11-24T16:49:59Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > I’m going on a date with a ‘believer’ who lost her sister, and is “sure she will see her again”. How do I address this without being insensitive? I’m sure I could convert her if it weren’t for her wanting to see her sister again. She’s a smart girl. Plus she’s very liberal and doesn’t go to church. She just WANTS to believe. > > She knows I’m an atheist, but I secretly want to challenge her… I don’t want to crush her hopes though. What should I do? You’re trying to convert her?? Have you lost your mind? Let it drift…just act as if she were of a different political persuasion than you. You don’t have to be the Svengali you think to date somebody. AND, don’t address it. If she says anything, nod your head, a lot of "Oh, I see"s, and the like. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/137 "2013-11-25T06:59:25Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Isilder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Isilder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isilder)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/138 "2013-11-25T08:11:54Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > I’m going on a date with a ‘believer’ who lost her sister, and is “sure she will see her again”. How do I address this without being insensitive? I’m sure I could convert her if it weren’t for her wanting to see her sister again. She’s a smart girl. Plus she’s very liberal and doesn’t go to church. She just WANTS to believe. That wasn’t too hard to deal with was it. A little bit of an obsession, a little bit depression , a little bit of remembrance. People were having a war remembrance days and I didn’t have to go and tell them that they are talking to dead people and saying they have “gone to heaven”. Well maybe they said " a better place", but thats not really ambiguous, its an obvious euphemism. like, that can’t be hell, or nowhere, so it must be heaven. She isn’t a real fundi if she isn’t asking you what you income is and sending 10% off to her church. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/139 "2013-11-25T08:35:21Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > I just Googled “MyFootsZZZ” and the first thing listed was a post in [giraffeboards.com](http://giraffeboards.com) that has a thread about me with a link to this thread. There’s on-line anonymity to be had from choosing a more common user name. Try googling **Senegoid** some time. There seem to be HUNDREDS of them all over the place! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/140 "2013-11-25T11:39:07Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > There’s on-line anonymity to be had from choosing a more common user name. > > Try googling **Senegoid** some time. There seem to be HUNDREDS of them all over the place! :eek: Haha. Yes, (where did you get your screen name from Senegoid?). I think it’s too late for that. But I don’t mind people knowing who I am. Like I said, there’s a lot about me on these message boards, however, I don’t mind owning up to my mistakes, like I did in this thread. That’s what’s so great about these boards. This isn’t the first time I admitted I was wrong. When plenty of people who are super intelligent are telling you that you’re wrong, it makes you reconsider your stance. That’s why I’m so close to my brother and love The Straight Dope. I get the blunt truth, ya know? **At least I seek other people’s wisdom**. I’m always the first to admit that I’m not very smart, but at least I’m smart enough to know where to look for reliable advice, even if the people on here can be unapologetically honest. I love you guys! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214/141 "2013-11-25T16:07:54Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > I just Googled “MyFootsZZZ” and the first thing listed was a post in [giraffeboards.com](http://giraffeboards.com) that has a thread about me with a link to this thread. > > Since this might be the first thing people read about me when they look up my handle; I would just like to make it clear that I learned a lot from this thread. I was wrong, and I apologize. “You wouldn’t worry so much about what people think of you, once you realize how seldom they actually do.” – Dr. Phil [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/date-with-a-believer-who-lost-her-sister-and-is-sure-she-will-see-her-again/615214.md?page=8)