My pager’s still blowin’ up: 25 songs about outdated (and soon-to-be outdated) technology
How do you say I miss you to
An answering machine?
How do you say good night to
An answering machine?
How do you say I’m lonely to
An answering machine?
The message is very plain
Oh, I hate your answering machine
I hate your answering machine
I hate your answering machine…
The Replacements-“Answering Machine”
"Oh, Mommy" –Brewer and Shipley
Oh, mommy, I ain’t no Commie
I’m just doing what I can to live the good old all American way…
Please let me do what I wanna
Just lay around the house and smoke marijuana
The accusation that prompted the first line is rarely heard any more (except in a YouTube video of a whacko Tea Partier who so accused President Obama!)
And in terms of seeking permission, the second couplet’s plea will be heard less and less in the coming years.
To be a bit more precise, it wasn’t so much about feigning illness as it was giving the lie to the adult generation’s “anti-drug” stance, when in fact they abused (and still abuse) uppers, tranquilizers and the like.
“I see you sent my letters back, and my LP records and they’re all scratched.” (Police: Can’t Stand Losing)
Jamie’s Crying: “She wants to send him a letter, yeah, yeah…”
There’s a million of these.
Please Mr. Postman. (Check and see…)
Telephone Line. (Can’t you just let it ring a little longer…)
Jump. (I got my back against the record machine…)
I see convoys curb crawling West German Autobahns
Trying to pick up a war
They’re going to even the score
Oh… I can’t take any more
Marillion - Blind Curve
That’s a good one. 
"Money for Nothing" –Dire Straits
We got to install microwave ovens
Custom kitchens deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators
We got to move these color TV’s
Line 1) I doubt there are many microwave ovens that need “installed” these days
Line 4) I know it was written this way just so it would scan, but I’m thinking this was already dated when it was sung. In the UK, was there any OTHER kind of a TV other than a “color TV” for sale in 1985? In the U.S., I suppose you still might have been able to buy a portable black and white TV. But if you were contemplating a new television purchase, I don’t think you would have said “I’m going to the appliance store today to buy a color TV.”
"1984" – Spirit
1984
Knockin’ on your door
Will you let it come
Will you let it run your life
When Spirit released this non-LP single in 1970, the year in question still had a very futuristic ring to it. Seems a bit quaint now!
Speaking of which:
"Nature’s Way" – Spirit
It’s nature’s way of telling you
Soon we’ll freeze
It’s nature’s way of telling you
Dying trees
Funny about that second line now, eh?
There’s also: That little faggot with the ear ring and the make up…
First off, I don’t think the word “faggot” would fly in this day and age.
Second, I believe young males these days are getting BOTH ears pierced, not just one.
We had a thread like this before. OK, here’s one I posted then.
She’s a twentieth century fox, oh watch her walk
She’s a twentieth century fox, talk that talk
38 Special - 20th Century Fox
Oh yeah, almost forgot,
Heading for the nineties
Living in the wild wild west
…
Heading for the nineties living in the eighties
Escape Club - Wild Wild West
This part doesn’t seem dated to me. A 95% tax rate is pretty steep no matter what era you live in.
Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da…feelin’ groovy.
mmm
“The Hottest Stuff in Town” was a blues song from the… 30s?.. about an ice delivery man trying to steal (and seduce) housewife customers away from a rival. It’s on Please Warm My Wiener, a collection of racy old blues sides. The cover illustration by R. Crumb is both hilarious and indefensible.
“Jingle Bells” in its entirety depends on a horse-drawn sleigh, a sexy gal named “Fanny Bright” and the acceptability of “upsot” as an adjective. “Frankie and Johnny” features Nelly Bly as a treacherous harlot and not an intrepid reporter.
Tim Curry apparently updates the lyrics of “I Do the Rock” because 1978 was a long time ago.
- I bought a bourgeois house in the Hollywood hills
With a truckload of hundred thousand dollar bills
Man came by to hook up my cable TV
We settled in for the night my baby and me
We switched ‘round and ‘round ‘til half-past dawn
There was fifty-seven channels and nothin’ on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin’ on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin’ on*
Here in Canada, someone tried to make a big deal about it. The song was banned briefly but then someone realized how ridiculous it was.
Prince’s 1999 - The world didn’t end and I have partied way harder since then.
Except back then it wasn’t hyperbole but the actual highest marginal tax rate (from what I’ve read at least.)
Hattie told mattie
Don’t you take no chance
Don’t you be L7
Come and learn to dance
*Wooly Bully * Sam the Sham
And its 1,2,3 … what are we fighting for?
Don’t ask me I don’t give a damn, the next stop is Vietnam.
And its 5,6,7 … open up the pearly gates
Well there ain’t no time to wonder why, whoopee, we’re all gonna die.
FISH Cheer -Feel Like I’m Fixin’ to Die Rag Country Joe McDonald and the Fish
Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses
Evil minds that plot destruction
Sorcerers of death’s construction
In the fields the bodies burning
As the war machine keeps turning
Death and hatred to mankind
Poisoning their brainwashed minds… Oh Lord yeah!
Luke’s Wall/War Pigs - Black Sabbath
And all the other protest songs against the war in Viet Nam