# Dating a cocaine addict **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 24, 2017, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926 "2017-03-24T16:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![SigMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SigMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SigMan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2017, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/81 "2017-03-26T20:07:47Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I agree that this whole things sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, It IS a disaster waiting to happen. Anytime a drug is involved nothing good comes from it. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2017, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/82 "2017-03-26T20:39:55Z")
> [@SigMan](#): > > Anytime a drug is involved nothing good comes from it. That’s an incredibly vague, broad statement, bordering on meaninglessness. ---
**Author:** ![SigMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SigMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SigMan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2017, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/83 "2017-03-26T20:57:29Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > That’s an incredibly vague, broad statement, bordering on meaninglessness. Is it? We’re talking illegal drugs here. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2017, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/84 "2017-03-26T21:07:13Z")
> [@SigMan](#): > > Is it? It is. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2017, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/85 "2017-03-26T21:34:27Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > He believes she’s the hottest, most available gratis friction hole he can access right now, and that single object is worth more to him than all the money he could gamble on a house purchase. Yeah, I know which head is doing the thinking right now. Which is why I posted. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MrLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f8ce5/32.png) [@MrLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrLee)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2017, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/86 "2017-03-26T22:25:46Z")
If I may… **Lots of people do class ‘A’ drugs like cocaine with some degree of frequency without being addicts nor producing any sum negative effect on humankind as a whole.** (My cite is simple personal experience…) If someone who lives within her means chooses to recreationally use a drug [for whatever reason] with an end to having a good time, with no real negative repercussions,\* so fucking what?\* (Also speaking from personal experience, a cocaine addict isn’t someone who takes coke twice a week; they’d be doing it \*a lot \*more often than that.) ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2017, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/87 "2017-03-26T22:55:33Z")
If this girl is gorgeous would it be safe to assume you rate her at least 8 on the scale of attractiveness. How would you rate yourself? Usually if the numbers are not pretty close there may be some other reason for the attraction. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/88 "2017-03-27T00:44:44Z")
Question: Have you noticed any of your valuables missing? Money stashed away still there? ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/89 "2017-03-27T01:47:03Z")
> [@SigMan](#): > > Anytime a drug is involved nothing good comes from it. Have you ever heard of music? Because I got news for you… ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/90 "2017-03-27T01:48:35Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Question: Have you noticed any of your valuables missing? Money stashed away still there? Which brings up an interesting question I’m a real estate agent myself and my income can vary wildly from year to year. I’m assuming you have some independent verification that she is actually employed as a real estate agent and it’s actually getting all these deals done. Most agents making six figures or more as residential agents are working at least 50 to 60 hours a week and normally don’t have a lot of time for socializing. In Googling her she should have listings all over the area. If you are a wealthy professional I could possibly see the attraction but if you’re just a regular Joe I think you need to be asking yourself what the real in-game is here. Hard driving achieving females usually have pretty high standards for the guys they go out with unless you’re a biker or some kind of an artist those guys will always get play. Sent from my SM-T320 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/91 "2017-03-27T03:16:35Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Thats actually a really good point. And I thank you for bringing it up. > To me, when someone starts doing this stuff on the regular, they are already entering a grey area where I feel they need some kind of crutch to get by. > > Is it at this point an addiction, maybe it is or maybe it isnt. > Perhaps I’m reaching with all this, I will concede that. > > I just wanna know if any “casual” users had any success dating a girl like this. > An anonymouse message board like straightdope is IMO a great place to start I have never done cocaine, but when I was in my 20s I lived in a house with a bunch of young professionals, men and women. My boyfriend at the time was in law school & would often come over and do lines with some of my housemates. All involved are now professionals with families who outgrew that habit. No idea if your girlfriend is going down the road of addiction, but just sharing my experience to highlight that that is not always the case. ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/92 "2017-03-27T11:46:25Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > If this girl is gorgeous would it be safe to assume you rate her at least 8 on the scale of attractiveness. How would you rate yourself? Usually if the numbers are not pretty close there may be some other reason for the attraction I dont like tooting my own horn, but I get called “cute” a lot. And I would rate her at least a 9 > [@Chimera](#): > > Question: Have you noticed any of your valuables missing? Money stashed away still there? LOL…no > [@Rigamarole](#): > > Have you ever heard of music? Because I got news for you… And movie stars too > [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > I have never done cocaine, but when I was in my 20s I lived in a house with a bunch of young professionals, men and women. My boyfriend at the time was in law school & would often come over and do lines with some of my housemates. All involved are now professionals with families who outgrew that habit. > > No idea if your girlfriend is going down the road of addiction, but just sharing my experience to highlight that that is not always the case This kinda the end result I’m hoping for ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/93 "2017-03-27T12:28:16Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Most agents making six figures or more as residential agents are working at least 50 to 60 hours a week and normally don’t have a lot of time for socializing. Unless your method of socializing helps the sale. Wait until after the deal closes. Then see if the attraction still holds. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/94 "2017-03-27T14:44:45Z")
> [@Robin Williams](#): > > Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you have too much money. Maybe she really makes $150K a year; maybe she just feels like she does because she uses cocaine. But > [@My Dad](#): > > Never get involved with a woman whose problems are worse than yours. It’s up to you to decide if the cocaine qualifies. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/95 "2017-03-27T19:22:48Z")
I went briefly dated a guy, who, on the third date, mentioned he’d stayed up all night doing coke with friends from out of town. Needless to say, there was not a fourth date. I knew we’d be too different and thought it was best to save both of us time versus trying to make it work. ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/96 "2017-03-27T21:13:06Z")
I don’t even know why I’m posting, but I’ll do it anyway. I mean, seriously … we are 95 posts in and the OP is still defending his position against all the folks telling him to run away. But, I’ll try. **Scenario 1** : You and your lovely bride are driving down the road heading for a social event and you get pulled over. The cops find a quantity of coke in your car. Now, the cops up in Toronto may totally believe you when you say, “That’s not mine!” However, your plans for the evening are not going to be fulfilled. You will either be A) spending a lot of time down at the station defending your innocence, B) spending some time with a nurse having blood drawn, C) trying to figure out how to raise your darling’s bail money. (Pick as many as might be applicable.) **Scenario 2** : You and your lovely bride are at home and someone knocks on the door. You open the door to find yourself face-to-face with pair of large thugs who A) know there is cocaine on the property and want some, B) are looking for your lady love because her debt for the last 2-weeks’ worth of twice-a-week pick-me-ups is overdue, C) are wondering where the pound of stuff she was supposed to be moving for The Boss is. (Pick as many as might be applicable.) **Scenario 3** : Your awesome real estate agent shows you a house that is slightly outside your price range. However, she says that if she moves in with you and pays something every month, it would certainly be in range. “What a great idea!” you cry, and the deed is done, the pen is dipped in the inkwell, and the deed is done (possibly several times that night, because, well, you know, she had a little celebratory sniff). Right after the closing date, though, she tells you A) she can’t break her lease because her current landlord is a rat-faced jerk, B) she can’t move because her mother is planning on moving in with her for medical reasons, C) her employer just started random drug testing and her results looked like a pinball game during an earthquake and now she is out of a job. (Pick as many as might be applicable.) Getting the picture? Lotta downsides, very few upsides, except for the glorious, mindblowing sex with someone who has a portion of your life that you absolutely cannot stand. We already have another poster on this board who is in a glorious relationship with a wonderful alcoholic whom he insisted on marrying despite all the warnings people gave him. And continues to ask for guidance in how to fix his sweet, glorious life and wife without, you know, taking any of the advice about getting sober, or separating his money from hers. I mean, he has all the answers, so why does he need a buncha knobs on the internet with their limited viewpoints? I am seeing a lot of the same behavior here, with many of the same rebuttals: [ol] [li]Oh, you guys don’t know her, she is a wonderful person.[/li][li]Seriously, she really loves me; buying a house from her has no influence over the situation at all.[/li][li]I’ve talked to her about her use and she said she is cutting back.[/li][li]She really does make that much money selling houses (hold on, I have to scratch my nuts … I must have gotten into poison ivy).[/li][li]There’s no way that her cocaine use could be harmful; she[/li]s young and her heart is healthy, not old like John Entwhistle or fat like Chris Farley. [/ol] (Again, pick as many as might apply. It won’t really matter since you seem to have a perfect rebuttal for every sane, logical, not-penis-driven point someone makes.) I think I’m going to buy stock in a popcorn company. Between that other poster and you, looks like we are going to be in for some entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/97 "2017-03-27T21:42:31Z")
> [@BobArrgh](#): > > I don’t even know why I’m posting, but I’ll do it anyway. I mean, seriously … we are 95 posts in and the OP is still defending his position against all the folks telling him to run away. > > But, I’ll try. > > **Scenario 1** : You and your lovely bride … He never mentioned marrying her. He’s dating her. She has her house, he has his. They hang out, go to movies, have sex, etc. (dating stuff). A casual cocaine user is perfectly capable of dating stuff. I agree he should be careful about financial entanglements, but unless the rule is “don’t date someone you’re not planning on marrying,” I still don’t see a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/98 "2017-03-27T23:12:33Z")
> [@BobArrgh](#): > > I don’t even know why I’m posting, but I’ll do it anyway. I mean, seriously … we are 95 posts in and the OP is still defending his position against all the folks telling him to run away. > > But, I’ll try. > > **Scenario 1** : You and your lovely bride are driving down the road heading for a social event and you get pulled over. The cops find a quantity of coke in your car. Now, the cops up in Toronto may totally believe you when you say, “That’s not mine!” However, your plans for the evening are not going to be fulfilled. You will either be A) spending a lot of time down at the station defending your innocence, B) spending some time with a nurse having blood drawn, C) trying to figure out how to raise your darling’s bail money. (Pick as many as might be applicable.) > > **Scenario 2** : You and your lovely bride are at home and someone knocks on the door. You open the door to find yourself face-to-face with pair of large thugs who A) know there is cocaine on the property and want some, B) are looking for your lady love because her debt for the last 2-weeks’ worth of twice-a-week pick-me-ups is overdue, C) are wondering where the pound of stuff she was supposed to be moving for The Boss is. (Pick as many as might be applicable.) > > **Scenario 3** : Your awesome real estate agent shows you a house that is slightly outside your price range. However, she says that if she moves in with you and pays something every month, it would certainly be in range. “What a great idea!” you cry, and the deed is done, the pen is dipped in the inkwell, and the deed is done (possibly several times that night, because, well, you know, she had a little celebratory sniff). Right after the closing date, though, she tells you A) she can’t break her lease because her current landlord is a rat-faced jerk, B) she can’t move because her mother is planning on moving in with her for medical reasons, C) her employer just started random drug testing and her results looked like a pinball game during an earthquake and now she is out of a job. (Pick as many as might be applicable.) > > Getting the picture? Lotta downsides, very few upsides, except for the glorious, mindblowing sex with someone who has a portion of your life that you absolutely cannot stand. > > We already have another poster on this board who is in a glorious relationship with a wonderful alcoholic whom he insisted on marrying despite all the warnings people gave him. And continues to ask for guidance in how to fix his sweet, glorious life and wife without, you know, taking any of the advice about getting sober, or separating his money from hers. I mean, he has all the answers, so why does he need a buncha knobs on the internet with their limited viewpoints? > > I am seeing a lot of the same behavior here, with many of the same rebuttals: > > [ol] > [li]Oh, you guys don’t know her, she is a wonderful person.[/li][li]Seriously, she really loves me; buying a house from her has no influence over the situation at all.[/li][li]I’ve talked to her about her use and she said she is cutting back.[/li][li]She really does make that much money selling houses (hold on, I have to scratch my nuts … I must have gotten into poison ivy).[/li][li]There’s no way that her cocaine use could be harmful; she[/li]s young and her heart is healthy, not old like John Entwhistle or fat like Chris Farley. > [/ol] > > (Again, pick as many as might apply. It won’t really matter since you seem to have a perfect rebuttal for every sane, logical, not-penis-driven point someone makes.) > > I think I’m going to buy stock in a popcorn company. Between that other poster and you, looks like we are going to be in for some entertainment. Just a FYI, making $150K is nothing in Toronto right now. The real estate market is red hot, you can sell only 3 hor 4 ouses or condpos and you’re easily clearing $150K because most homes here are now over $1 million ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/99 "2017-03-27T23:16:58Z")
> [@Calatin](#): > > I went briefly dated a guy, who, on the third date, mentioned he’d stayed up all night doing coke with friends from out of town. > > Needless to say, there was not a fourth date. I knew we’d be too different and thought it was best to save both of us time versus trying to make it work. When I was younger and stupider, I had a relationship with a man who told me very early on that after his mother had died a couple years earlier, he basically snorted up all the money she left him as part of the grieving process. I considered walking away then and there, and should have. Lesson learned, that’s for sure. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926/100 "2017-03-27T23:22:52Z")
I also just remembered a FOAF from college (we all worked together and were all in our late 20s) who told me about a strained situation from her hometown that started off with her best friend’s husband propositioning her. She later told me that her BFF was a nurse, and she was at work and he was at home one weekend afternoon watching the kids and invited FOAF over. FOAF thought everything was totally innocuous, and when she came over, he had ordered some food by delivery and added that he had some blow. (You can probably guess where this was heading. She told me, “I love it but wouldn’t buy it; I’ll do it if it’s there”) and after doing a few lines, WITH SMALL CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE, sure enough, yeah, he propositioned her. :smack: Good grief, what was she expecting? 😕 I thought a lot less of her after she told me that story. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-cocaine-addict/782926.md?page=6)