# Dating a doctor vs. dating a bassonist **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 5, 2018, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116 "2018-08-05T03:40:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/1 "2018-08-05T03:40:39Z")
A challenge from friends. Similarities or contrasts, puns and/or other humor encouraged. I will not, at present, provide details as to which I am dating. ---
**Author:** ![blob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blob/32/489_2.png) [@blob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blob)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/2 "2018-08-05T03:42:28Z")
Whichever blows your horn. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/3 "2018-08-05T03:56:28Z")
Bassoonist? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/4 "2018-08-05T04:07:47Z")
The one who bandaids your boo-boo. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/5 "2018-08-05T04:09:41Z")
Obviously you’re dating a doctor, because you can spell doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/6 "2018-08-05T04:15:01Z")
Can’t you date both like the late Earl Warren? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/7 "2018-08-05T04:17:45Z")
^ “Now who’s being naive?” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/8 "2018-08-05T05:10:32Z")
The bassoonist will have an interesting embouchure, and will have no trouble finding your low notes. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/9 "2018-08-05T05:10:57Z")
A German doctor is Arzt, which is slightly strange, but a German bassoonist carries a disassembled Fagott around in a case, which seems a bit alarming on several levels. Blowing a bassoon is not the same as blowing a doctor. Hmmm… Also, holding a doctor steady by sitting on his belt is unusual. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/10 "2018-08-05T05:19:40Z")
Do you have to make sure that a doctor is wet before you blow? I know that a bassoon won’t respond well unless you do that. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/11 "2018-08-05T05:51:37Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Bassoonist? basselope? ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/12 "2018-08-05T08:34:46Z")
Basselope: [transitive verb] 1. To run away and marry a fisherman. 2. To run away and marry a fish. 3. To run away and marry Jaco Pastorius. 4. To run away and marry Vladimir Miller. 5. To run away and marry anybody, but only on a fishing trip or a concert trip. [noun] 1. Antelope that sings the low part. 2. Antelope that plays the bass. 3. Large antelope that is played in the manner of a bass. 4. Loosely, a cross between nearly any member of the order _Perciformes_ with nearly any deer-like bovid. 5. A fish with antelope horns growing from its head. 6. [rare] An antelope with fish horns growing from anywhere at all. 7. [even more rare] An antelope with a bassoon, tuba, bass clarinet, bass saxophone (may substitute baritone saxophone if notes below written low A are not required in this evening’s concert), ophicleide, serpent (no, not that kind of serpent you idiot), or contrabass trombone (be careful with that thing!) growing out of its head. 8. [unbelievably rare] An antelope with Vladimir Miller growing out of its head. [French noun] [slang, pejorative] 1. A homosexual man who likes to be underneath. Underneath what? Who knows? ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/13 "2018-08-05T11:08:57Z")
I didn’t understand any of this. But please don’t explain it to me, I like it fine as it is. j ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/14 "2018-08-05T11:43:35Z")
\*“A bassinet? That kid won’t be able to play an instrument for another 5 or 6 years.” \* - Archie Bunker ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/15 "2018-08-05T11:51:08Z")
Man, that’s deep. ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/16 "2018-08-05T12:02:28Z")
If the doctor is an optometrist, sex will be a constant question: better like this or better like this? ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/17 "2018-08-05T12:09:22Z")
> [@tim-n-va](#): > > If the doctor is an optometrist, sex will be a constant question: better like this or better like this? Oh, 2, definitely 2. 2…2! 2! _ **2!!!** _ ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/18 "2018-08-05T15:13:08Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Oh, 2, definitely 2. 2…2! 2! _ **2!!!** _ [Don’t you mean 7 ?](https://youtu.be/mdK6LVDI3kg?t=128) ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/19 "2018-08-05T16:55:16Z")
In unrelated news, I have known a crumhorn-playing doctor. Needless to say, he was happily married. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116/20 "2018-08-05T18:35:13Z")
Remind me again: Which one do you date by cutting it in half and counting the rings? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-doctor-vs-dating-a-bassonist/819116.md?page=2)