# Dating a vegetarian, what to order? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2008, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256 "2008-04-28T18:48:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/21 "2008-04-29T03:22:01Z")
[QUOTE=Mrs Johnson] Pescaterian is a stupid word IMO - she’s an omnivore that avoids meat and chicken. Vegetarian = no animal flesh. [/QUOTE] Fishatarian! Fishatarian! (Why hasn’t that word caught on?) One other piece of advice: don’t do the awkward conversation about why she’s a fishatarian, at least initially. Those of us with “odd” (i.e., non-omnivorous) food habits/choices do have our pat little story about why we do what we do, but frankly it’s boring to trot it out again, and you should be able to come up with a half dozen more interesting topics for a first date. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/22 "2008-04-29T03:37:52Z")
Vegetarian(ish) here; I’d never dream of asking or expecting anyone else to eat vegetarian on my account. If she does, run. Run fast. PS, folks who eat fish and not other meat are only hypocrites if they’re doing it for animal rights or some shit. Not all of us do, you know. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/23 "2008-04-29T03:55:51Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] Order the chicken, of course. [/QUOTE] +1 (speaking as a fishitarian) ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/24 "2008-04-29T14:30:57Z")
+7 or whatever number we’re up to now. Keep it low key, ask if she’s cool with you ordering the chicken. If she throws a fit, sneak out and make her pay for the dinner. Just make sure that’s it’s after dessert. ---
**Author:** ![a\_bee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce73a5/32.png) [@a\_bee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a_bee)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/25 "2008-04-29T15:27:20Z")
Go ahead and eat. I’ve got a vegie kid and in-law, and they are well aware that they are among carnivores. Just don’t lick your lips and say what a shame it is she can no longer enjoy life. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/26 "2008-04-30T14:11:06Z")
All went well, the pasta with red clam sauce loooked really good so I went with that. A good time was had by all, trying to decide what to do for the next date now. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/27 "2008-04-30T14:54:20Z")
[QUOTE=Mrs Johnson] Pescaterian is a stupid word IMO - she’s an omnivore that avoids meat and chicken. [/QUOTE] It may sound stupid in your opinion, but it’s accurate. And if I may be the sole voice of discontent here: it is rude to tell other people that their self-definitions are wrong. You have no idea why someone else would make a specific dietary choice, so commenting on it is well outside the bounds of good manners. **MikeG** , glad it went well. I’ve heard good thing before about that restaurant; one of these days I’ll hie my heiney up there. (I like the word “veg-aquarian.”) ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/28 "2008-04-30T15:22:04Z")
[QUOTE=LifeOnWry] (I like the word “veg-aquarian.”) [/QUOTE] That word sounds like YOU are a vegetable eating fish-man. Or have some sort of really odd sexual needs. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/29 "2008-04-30T17:20:47Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] Order the chicken, of course. [/QUOTE] Yes, be true to yourself! Or have something vegetarian if you’re in the mood, but do it because you want to, not to impress someone else. I would love to be pesco-vegetarian, but my wife’s not crazy about fish. In this case I have to adapt myself to her taste because it’s a question of cooking meals for both of us. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/30 "2008-04-30T18:17:00Z")
Advice coming too late, but whatever you do, do _not_ spend time explaining why you aren’t a vegetarian, _especially_ if that explanation includes any variation on the theme “meat tastes too good.” I have lost count of the number of times I’ve been on a date and the guy insists on explaining in detail why he could never possibly be vegetarian because of how delicious various members of the animal kingdom are. It immediately puts me on the defensive as the freak who doesn’t know enough to eat tasty flesh and is a boring topic of conversation. Ironically, the last time I was on a date with a vegetarian, we spent half the evening talking about how awful it was to date meat-eaters and have to defend ourselves and be bored. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/31 "2008-04-30T18:33:49Z")
I think you should order pretty much anything you want, except possibly the live monkey brains. ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/32 "2008-04-30T20:23:59Z")
[QUOTE=Chimera] That word sounds like YOU are a vegetable eating fish-man. Or have some sort of really odd sexual needs. 😉 [/QUOTE] That’s vag-aquarian. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/33 "2008-04-30T21:00:12Z")
[QUOTE=Mooch] That’s vag-aquarian. [/QUOTE] “Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as ‘The Greatest Story Ever Hula’d’ and ‘They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall’…” ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/34 "2008-04-30T21:11:00Z")
[QUOTE=MikeG] For the locals, we are going to Dave’s Italian Kitchen. It’s not super fancy by any stretch but it’s a fun and laid back date place. [/QUOTE] My wife and I went on our first date at Dave’s! No pressure though. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/35 "2008-04-30T23:19:17Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] “Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as ‘The Greatest Story Ever Hula’d’ and ‘They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall’…” [/QUOTE] _dead_ ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2008, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/36 "2008-05-01T09:02:26Z")
[QUOTE=LifeOnWry] It may sound stupid in your opinion, but it’s accurate. And if I may be the sole voice of discontent here: it is rude to tell other people that their self-definitions are wrong. You have no idea why someone else would make a specific dietary choice, so commenting on it is well outside the bounds of good manners. [/QUOTE] Rude or not, it’s the truth. The only people who consider pesco vegetarians as “vegetarians” are other pesco vegetarians. My wife is a pretty hardcore vegetarian (for animal rights reasons) and so I’ve met more vegetarians in the last few years than I ever had before in my entire life. At best, they shake their head at people who don’t consider fish “real animals” and at worst they are actively disgusted that someone would dare call themselves a vegetarian while chowing down on a fish sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2008, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/37 "2008-05-01T13:52:50Z")
[QUOTE=Justin\_Bailey] Rude or not, it’s the truth. The only people who consider pesco vegetarians as “vegetarians” are other pesco vegetarians. [/quote] And omnivores. The term “vegetarian” is a fairly recent addition to the English language (mid-1800s) and doesn’t preclude adaptations of the word to specify what is/is not eaten. Pescatarian is a perfectly cromulent 😃 word to describe someone who allows fish into an otherwise vegetarian diet. Are vegetarians under the impression that everyone who identifies as a vegetarian is doing it because of the cruelty to animals angle? I don’t believe it. > [@](#): > > My wife is a pretty hardcore vegetarian (for animal rights reasons) and so I’ve met more vegetarians in the last few years than I ever had before in my entire life. At best, they shake their head at people who don’t consider fish “real animals” and at worst they are actively disgusted that someone would dare call themselves a vegetarian while chowing down on a fish sandwich. Sounds judgmental to me. Who says fish aren’t “real animals”? Or is that just projecting? Just because some people believe that there is no definitive scientific evidence that fish feel pain, doesn’t mean they are not considered “real animals.” Aren’t you guys really just PETArians in disguise? ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2008, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/38 "2008-05-01T14:02:48Z")
[QUOTE=Justin\_Bailey] Rude or not, it’s the truth. The only people who consider pesco vegetarians as “vegetarians” are other pesco vegetarians. [/QUOTE] Meh. As an omnivore, I don’t care whether a pesco vegetarian is a “real” vegetarian. In fact, I’m pretty totally not interested in what makes someone a real vegetarian. But if I expect to eat with (or cook for) someone, I want to have a general sense of what they are willing\* to eat. And pesco vegetarian works fine for that purpose–better in all likelihood than “I’m an omnivore who doesn’t eat pork, beef, or poultry” does. \*Or able. If you are lactose or gluten intolerant or allergic to shellfish, I want to know that too. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2008, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/39 "2008-05-01T14:08:55Z")
[QUOTE=Brown Eyed Girl] Sounds judgmental to me. Who says fish aren’t “real animals”? Or is that just projecting? Just because some people believe that there is no definitive scientific evidence that fish feel pain, doesn’t mean they are not considered “real animals.” Aren’t you guys really just PETArians in disguise? [/QUOTE] Vegetarian means someone who doesn’t eat meat. Saying “I’m a vegetarian, but I eat fish” is just about as ridiculous as saying “I’m gay, but I don’t like kissing men.” And for the record, I’m not a vegetarian (just married to one) and I despise PETA. There a ton of great animal rights organizations, PETA is a bunch of criminals. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2008, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256/40 "2008-05-01T14:48:20Z")
[QUOTE=Justin\_Bailey] Vegetarian means someone who doesn’t eat meat. Saying “I’m a vegetarian, but I eat fish” is just about as ridiculous as saying “I’m gay, but I don’t like kissing men.” [/quote] Then they are pescatarians, right? I am mostly supporting **LifeOnWry** ’s post, replying to **Mrs. Johnson** ’s assertion that the term ‘pescatarian’ is stupid, which you subsequently quoted and reiterated **Mrs. Johnson** ’s comment while conflating it with the root term, ‘vegetarian’. > [@](#): > > And for the record, I’m not a vegetarian (just married to one) and I despise PETA. There a ton of great animal rights organizations, PETA is a bunch of criminals. I should have put a winky smiley after that comment. I was just being gauche. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-a-vegetarian-what-to-order/447256.md?page=3)