# Dating Advice: Rejections. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 18, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-advice-rejections/285384 "2005-01-18T16:39:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-advice-rejections/285384/21 "2005-01-19T01:39:08Z")
How about: “You’re a nice enough guy to talk to but I find you physically repulsive…” or “Oh I’m sorry, I just threw up in my mouth…” ---
**Author:** ![alphaFemale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecb155/32.png) [@alphaFemale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaFemale)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-advice-rejections/285384/22 "2005-01-19T01:44:52Z")
> [@EmeraldGrue](#): > > a. Nip it in the bud by saying, “On second thought, thanks but no thanks”? i STRONGLY advise this. i’ve tried the others and they’re 1.) still calling to see if i’m finally free after 6 months of being “busy;” or 2.) Still calling asking _What Happened_, since I was “clearly interested” when I accepted dates 1 and 2. eh. ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-advice-rejections/285384/23 "2005-01-19T01:54:11Z")
> [@Girl From Mars](#): > > Sounds like the most graceful way is to go on the coffee date, and give the guy a chance. First of all, coffee is low committment, so will really be just a friend thing. And this option also leaves open the chance that you might actually find you click. > > However, you may well find it does not change how you feel, but then when you decline another date, or feel up to saying, “I like hanging with you as friends but I’m sorry that I don’t feel anything more”, he will (hopefully) feel like you have given him a fair chance. To say no know will leave him wondering what he did wrong between asking you out and now, to change your mind. I’m another one who agrees with this. If someone gets up the nerve to ask me out, I generally accept for something as casual as coffee (with obvious exceptions like I’m already seeing someone, am scared of the guy, or know there’s no way in hell I’d ever be interested in him even if he were the last man alive). Why not give someone a chance? You may find out (as I have) that you really are interested after you have a chance to chat some. It’s just coffee. It’s not like he’s asked to move in or anything. Now, if you know that there’s absolutely no chance what so ever for the poor fella and you’d just hate spending any amount of time with him, then you do need to cut him off quick. Don’t drag it out and be evasive. It just prolongs everything for you both. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-advice-rejections/285384/24 "2005-01-19T04:57:00Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > How about: > > “You’re a nice enough guy to talk to but I find you physically repulsive…” > > or > > “Oh I’m sorry, I just threw up in my mouth…” **SHAKES** , I really hope you don’t die, get reincarnated as a woman, and date me. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-advice-rejections/285384/25 "2005-01-19T05:05:25Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > “Oh I’m sorry, I just threw up in my mouth…” :snorts with laughter: Must be really late, 'cause I find that hilarious. S’anyway, I was talking on MSN with Coffee Guy - he seems agreeable enough (though not the kind of person I’d befriend in real life), so I guess I shouldn’t begrudge him coffee. Plan D: Playing Nice, Just This Once. ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-advice-rejections/285384/26 "2005-01-19T05:07:57Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > **SHAKES** , I really hope you don’t die, get reincarnated as a woman, and date me. New sig line, **Incubus**? 🙂 (sorry for the extra post thingymacallit) ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-advice-rejections/285384/27 "2005-01-19T05:25:32Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Make up an excuse to bail on the coffee date. Be nice but a bit distant to the guy after that, i.e. don’t try to excise your guilt over bailing on him by being super friendly the next time you see him, as that will only confuse the poor lad. If he asks you out again, be busy for whatever he asks you to. At this point, most guys will get the hint. If he asks you out a third time, gently explain that you while you think he is very nice, you just don’t think the two of you would work romantically. > > As for the chatting, just phase it out. Be less available to chat, take longer to return emails, and then keep things short. Things will fade away naturally. Again, if they pursue more directly, be honest but kind, but don’t volunteer your disinterest unless they make it an issue by directly trying to initiate a romantic relationship. > > Since you don’t currently have any sort of relationship with any of these people, directly telling them you are uninterested in them romantically is unnecessary rejection which should be saved for a last resort. Word. I’m quite simply staggered by the amount of people (guys) who get too clingy after the first date. One date does not make a relationship. Let the poor kid quietly get the hint and escape with his pride intact. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-advice-rejections/285384.md?page=1)