# Dating and that first phone call. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 7, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751 "2011-01-07T15:51:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/41 "2011-01-07T18:23:39Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I’m 48. Honest to God, you whippersnappers. Texting to set up a first date comes across as extremely rude to me. > > Yeah, I get it that it’s a generational thing and that my grand-dad would have said “you don’t use the phone to ask a girl out; **you do it in person**.” > > … and the beat goes on > … and the beat goes on. You rapscallion! - without first asking her fathers permission?! SHAME! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/42 "2011-01-07T18:27:22Z")
1.) Asking her father’s permission (presumably in person). 2.) Asking her in person. 3.) Asking her via phone call. 4.) Asking her in text. 5.) Anyone want to hazard a guess what the next step in dating evolution will be? ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/43 "2011-01-07T18:31:09Z")
The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/44 "2011-01-07T18:31:41Z")
Holding her hand in the delivery room? “I guess this kinda means we’re goin’ out, huh?” To me it boils down to this: A girl wants to know she’s special, not one of your buddys, and certainly not just another broad you’re going to try to jump. This means you go the extra step. You demonstrate that you take her attention seriously. And if you don’t feel she’s important enough to go that extra step then why do you want to go out with her? OK - I’ll lay off the old man stuff now - I know it’s done differently today. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/45 "2011-01-07T18:32:45Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > 5.) Anyone want to hazard a guess what the next step in dating evolution will be? Maybe people will just stop doing it. New people will be made in factories. Or else the species will just die out. ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/46 "2011-01-07T18:37:19Z")
Equal pay, equal rights, equal _everything_, but men are still supposed to make the first step/call :rolleyes:. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/47 "2011-01-07T18:39:47Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > 1.) Asking her father’s permission (presumably in person). > 2.) Asking her in person. > 3.) Asking her via phone call. > 4.) Asking her in text. > 5.) Anyone want to hazard a guess what the next step in dating evolution will be? Asking her over breakfast? Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/48 "2011-01-07T18:41:14Z")
If making a phone call to a girl is so scary that you resort to texting, how do you make the first move when you want to have sex? Have a vibrator shipped to her from Amazon? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/49 "2011-01-07T18:44:19Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > 1.) Asking her father’s permission (presumably in person). > 2.) Asking her in person. > 3.) Asking her via phone call. > 4.) Asking her in text. > 5.) Anyone want to hazard a guess what the next step in dating evolution will be? Busing it to a B&B 6 hours away? ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/50 "2011-01-07T18:44:30Z")
Well, some people are not “good” on the phone, they stutter or don’t know what to say (while during a real date, none of these problems even surface). And what’s more, a phone call seems like a greater disturbance than a text. Shy people prefer to disturb others the least. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/51 "2011-01-07T18:44:50Z")
I would’ve prefered a phone call too. But, if I was really interested, I’d have texted back, “CALL ME INSTEAD!” and that should’ve solved the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/52 "2011-01-07T18:46:45Z")
> [@Khaki\_Campbell](#): > > And what’s more, a phone call seems like a greater disturbance than a text. Shy people prefer to disturb others the least. Shy people also tend to miss out on a lot of great stuff in life, so don’t go by what shy people do. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/53 "2011-01-07T18:49:20Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > 5.) Anyone want to hazard a guess what the next step in dating evolution will be? Scheduling a tentative date on her open calendar software. 6.) Having your AI software agent negotiate a mutually acceptable time with her AI software agent. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/54 "2011-01-07T18:52:44Z")
> [@Khaki\_Campbell](#): > > Shy people prefer to disturb others the least. Well the sex part isn’t gonna be real fun then. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/55 "2011-01-07T18:56:20Z")
In general, I’d say that if I were really interested in a girl and she specifically asked me to call her, I wouldn’t leave one text message and then drop the matter entirely. There are an infinite number of reasons why she either didn’t get your text or hasn’t returned it. A followup of some sort should have been in order. In specific, Shakes, you dodged a bullet on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/56 "2011-01-07T19:05:48Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#): > > If making a phone call to a girl is so scary that you resort to texting, how do you make the first move when you want to have sex? **Have a vibrator shipped to her from Amazon?** Now THIS…this is an idea! ---
**Author:** ![Susanann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@Susanann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susanann)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/57 "2011-01-07T19:20:30Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > Ah the new generation. Women like confidence in men, always have, always will. They smell texting as a lack of confidence and thus a turn-off. New technologies don’t change a woman’s psyche. > Your loss. +1 Anyways, she specifically said “call” her. She did not say text her. You lose. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/58 "2011-01-07T19:27:25Z")
I’ve done stuff like this (and I’m 24 – lest you think it’s a generational thing). You’re right, you did dodge a bullet. Communication is an important factor in a relationship, and your preferred method of establishing communication and showing interest is a way to tell if you’re compatible. I’ve found that men who prefer texting to calling tend to be incompatible with me. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/59 "2011-01-07T19:37:09Z")
I prefer to text whenever possible but if I want to date someone I’m always going to call that first time at the very, absolute least. Besides, what happens if the number he/she gave you isn’t a cell phone? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751/60 "2011-01-07T19:41:14Z")
I’m 35. She said to call! Call her! To be honest if you texted me I’d probably never even respond - I have a cellphone, but it is NOT easy to text on it at all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-that-first-phone-call/566751.md?page=4)