# Dating and the sending of nude pictures **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2025, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228 "2025-07-23T16:49:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2025, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/21 "2025-07-23T23:37:10Z")
I’m 61 and my dates tend to be a fair amount younger. I’ve gotten my fair share. Back in the 80s we had a saying about cocaine. Never ask for it, never pay for it, never turn it down. That’s the same philosophy that I apply to nudes. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/22 "2025-07-24T00:36:28Z")
I have never received, nor sent, nude pictures in a dating relationship. Maybe that’s what I’m doing wrong. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/23 "2025-07-24T01:10:53Z")
I’m dating now. Haven’t sent or received nude pix. Suggestive? Yes. Private parts? No. Poor risk / reward. Plus age. Some of us feel better in bad light than we look in good light. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/24 "2025-07-24T03:03:51Z")
I have never sent nor received any. I’ve never taken any or had any taken of me. I dated a couple photographers in my younger days and I knew how unwise it would be. You just never know where that stuff can end up. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/25 "2025-07-24T03:15:45Z")
I once received an unsolicited nudie pic from someone here at the SDMB. Quite a surprise. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/26 "2025-07-24T03:42:56Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > What movie was it where the two leads (Bill and Ted? Wayne and Garth?) were working at a photomart and they were looking at the latest developed pics, and upon seeing they were nudies, they looked at each other and yelled “Reprints!”? The highly underrated _Summer School._ I was a teenager in the 90’s and something of a late bloomer. The idea of sending nude selfies to anyone was laughable. The idea of sending nude selfies _now_ is laugable – I’m a balding, overweight, middle-aged guy who is happily married. That said, I don’t judge anyone who does provided 1) they’re adults and 2) sending them is consensual for both parties and 3) the sendee(s) understands the risks. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/27 "2025-07-24T03:53:00Z")
Back in the 90’s I occasionally had to go in the back entrance to a row of shops that included a photo lab. If it was hot they would sometimes leave their back door open. You could then see their corkboard “wall of fame” at the back of the store out of sight of customers. Some of the photos were as hardcore as hardcore porn can be. It was a small privately owned place with only male employees so I guess they weren’t accountable to anyone. Can’t imagine what an HR department would have made of it, even in the 90’s ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/28 "2025-07-24T04:03:20Z")
I’ve never received or sent any, but I’ve photographed four girlfriends. Hey, I’m a photographer, and I like studying the human body. The earliest would have been from 1992. Never anything in the iPhone era (oh, shit, that does remind me. I did receive one pre-iPhone nude photo that probably was postage-stamp-sized at like 400x600 pixels). ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/29 "2025-07-24T04:26:08Z")
It seems likely that the idea of blackmail over sexted pictures is going to evaporate before too long, as we have these “neural” processes (sometimes inaccurately described as “AI”) that one could use with little difficulty to alter or generate an improper image. Did you ever schtup a ewe? No? Then why is there a picture right here of you doing it? Given how easily these fakes can be generated, I would think that you could easily claim that that image was machine-generated, and this avenue of extortion will simply cease to exist. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/30 "2025-07-24T04:30:03Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > I once received an unsolicited nudie pic from someone here at the SDMB. Quite a surprise. Me too. Oh, God, I’d forgotten about that. It was either someone here or on the Fathom board around 2000-2001 (there was a lot of cross-pollination back then). I wonder if it was the same woman. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/31 "2025-07-24T04:58:22Z")
I took a few photos & video of partners during some early relationships in the Polaroid & camcorder days but they were taken of her/us by me versus her sending me something. I once sent a video to my now-wife back in our long distance days which she enjoyed but promptly deleted after viewing in a bout of paranoia. I was already pretty well entrenched in a relationship by the time the digital age of sending photos as a casual part of dating really got underway. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/32 "2025-07-24T05:40:34Z")
> [@Lancia](#): > > The highly underrated _Summer School._ I read the plot summary, and I would swear I’ve never seen it. Nothing looks familiar, and I wouldn’t have picked it in the theater. I guess it will remain a mystery where I saw it. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/33 "2025-07-24T05:45:20Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > I wonder if it was the same woman. Most likely. I always liked her, but when she did that I realised she was probably quite troubled. She vanished from the boards soon after. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/34 "2025-07-24T06:05:11Z")
Yes this has been my view on the panic about fake nudes for a while - once they become utterly facile and commonplace they will lose their power because the default assumption will be that they are fake. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/35 "2025-07-24T06:23:49Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > default assumption will be that they are fake. This relies on the faulty assumption that the power from deepfake nudes only lies in tricking people into thinking that they’re real. The real goal is in taking the woman’s sexual agency away and projecting power over her by deciding how she’ll be displayed. On a public end of the spectrum, no one was expected to believe that Taylor Swift was having group sex in front of a crowd on a football field. On a more private end of the spectrum, when a 14 year old girl’s homecoming photos are digitally modified, the goal isn’t to make everyone think she actually posed nude under the balloon arch in her school gymnasium. While trying to make fake nudes look legitimate may be a goal, it’s not the only goal and affected women rarely find much solace in “Well, but you can tell it’s a fake…” That said, this could easily move well out of bounds of the OP’s discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/36 "2025-07-24T07:59:33Z")
Since around 2000, every dating scenario I’ve been in has involved sending nude pictures. Business as usual. What’s unusual are the picless SD replies above. When things end, the common way to deal with it is to ask the other person to delete the photos. It’s no guarantee of anything, but hey, such is life. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/37 "2025-07-24T12:35:51Z")
Just curious: are there any stories of where the target **called** the bluff of the scammers, and what the fallout was when everybody he knew got those pics? Did they all laugh _with_ him as he downplayed what happened (“Yeah Steve I sure do strike quite the pose there, LOL!”), and yes maybe claimed that an innocuous photo of his got photoshopped? Are they all really going to react with shock and horror and shun him forevermore? Or just immediately send the pic to the trash bin and instantly forget about it? ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/38 "2025-07-24T12:55:25Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > The guy is hit with an image of him doing his thing next to a list of all his contacts on social media and told to pay Oh heck, you don’t have to actually do anything to get those threats. I’ve gotten an uncountable number of emails saying the sender has hacked my computer and has those photos and will send it to all my contacts. Some of the emails are pretty explicit about them having photos of my dick. (I don’t have a dick.) The officer’s mailing list for a club I’m in gets those threats. (The officer’s mailing list doesn’t own a computer that could be hacked. It’s just an email address.) I’m old enough that I’ve never shared naked photos, but this > [@Toxylon](#): > > When things end, the common way to deal with it is to ask the other person to delete the photos. It’s no guarantee of anything, but hey, such is life. Is what i would have expected. Back in the day when courtship was often carried on via letter, it was standard to request your ex return your letters when you broke up. I’m sure some of those letters were steamy and potentially compromising, too. I feel like this isn’t all that new an issue. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/39 "2025-07-24T13:11:44Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I’ve gotten an uncountable number of emails saying the sender has hacked my computer and has those photos and will send it to all my contacts. Oh sure, I’ve also gotten all the “We hacked your webcam” emails about my non-existent webcam. The difference here being that they DO have video of the kid jerkin’ it to threaten sending off. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/40 "2025-07-24T13:20:12Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Oh heck, you don’t have to actually do anything to get those threats. I’ve gotten an uncountable number of emails saying the sender has hacked my computer and has those photos and will send it to all my contacts. Some of the emails are pretty explicit about them having photos of my dick. I’ve gotten them, too. My desktop doesn’t even _have_ a camera & even if it did it would be angled at my face & you wouldn’t be able to see below the desk. When I watch _anything_ on my phone it’s being held either in or above my lap. IOW, there’s _never_ a camera in position to catch my face & my junk even if it were hacked & I _was_ doing something when it was hacked. The idea of a split screen is BS, too. Unless there is a camera behind me (Oh no, the broke into my house & installed hidden surveillance camera in my bed where I both won’t notice it & won’t accidentally block it with a pillow! 🤔). Of course I’m sure my ‘history’ is going to be something on the deep end of outside of mainstream/illegal to get maximum shock out of all of my FB contacts (which I’m not on, either). Yup, I always respond to them right away & send them the requested untraceable / unrecoverable funds via either BitCoin or Western Union. 🙄 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228.md?page=3)