# Dating and the sending of nude pictures **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2025, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228 "2025-07-23T16:49:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/41 "2025-07-24T13:22:09Z")
I’ve got nothing against it, but I do think it’s juvenile. It’s something I would expect from the adolescent - college aged people. My attitude is, if you want to see my goods, get me to really like you and get me in the mood. LOL ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/42 "2025-07-24T13:51:27Z")
I’ve gotten to like you, I’ve gotten you in the mood. I’ve seen your goods (& used my other senses on them, too); maybe multiple times, but now it’s a different night & I’m at my house & you’re at yours. That’s the _only_ scenario where I’d _consider_ sending nudes; someone I’m in a relationship with & _might_ be able to trust. Though I’ve seen/heard of enough scorched-earth breakups/divorces that I’m not sure I’d trust someone having them at any point. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/43 "2025-07-24T14:12:41Z")
This thread reminds me of one of my favorite memes: [![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYdPa8WXkAEpIBP.jpg) ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYdPa8WXkAEpIBP.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/44 "2025-07-24T15:16:17Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > I’ve gotten them, too. By now, I suspect everyone has gotten one of these. The first one I got was probably around 2018. That one was interesting as it follows the same general script as all the ones I’ve gotten since (dozens), but that one did include a plaintext password of mine that I last used in the early 2000s. So it started out like: “Hope you’re having a great day, because it’s, unfortunately, going to get worse. I cracked your password, XXXXXX, and was able to deploy malware [described in some detail] and have video of you watching some websites and doing things to yourself. You have good taste. Etc. Please send money, etc.” I admit, it did catch me off-guard, but none of it made any sense, so I ignored it without videos of me being released to my contact list. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/45 "2025-07-24T15:22:35Z")
They get the emails and passwords from lists sold via data breaches (or available for free once they get around) and just use it in a template. Seeing your password no doubt adds credibility for a lot of people unless the rest of it is obviously nonsense (don’t have a webcam, never looked at porn, etc). Even if they had a working password, it’s not as though going onto your GMail account lets them install malware on your PC but the average user won’t consider that if they’re already scared. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/46 "2025-07-24T15:51:31Z")
> [@Toxylon](#): > > Since around 2000, every dating scenario I’ve been in has involved sending nude pictures. Business as usual. What’s unusual are the picless SD replies above. That’s my impression as well. The existence of extortion schemes would seem to further corroborate the phenomenon. It wouldn’t make sense to send out generic. “We have hacked your pictures and will send them if you don’t X” messages if most people didn’t have such stuff on their phone. > [@Spiderman](#): > > I’ve seen your goods (& used my other senses on them, too); maybe multiple times, but now it’s a different night & I’m at my house & you’re at yours. > > That’s the _only_ scenario where I’d _consider_ sending nudes; someone I’m in a relationship with & _might_ be able to trust. That’s what I’m referring to. Not kids sending out random pictures to other adolescents they meet online. I’m talking about sending photos to your SO as part of an ongoing relationship. My girlfriend went out of town last week. I got a photo of her getting out of the shower wearing nothing but the towel on her head. Cute and sexy at the same time. It doesn’t even have to be explicit. Sometimes a picture of cleavage, or one’s derrière, goes a long way towards foreplay (as a guy, I find that wearing a towel is a better look than being totally naked) ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/47 "2025-07-24T16:39:20Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > My girlfriend went out of town last week. I got a photo of her getting out of the shower wearing nothing but the towel on her head. But who took it! ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/48 "2025-07-24T16:51:22Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > But who took it Mirrors, my friend! Mirrors ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/49 "2025-07-24T16:55:14Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > It wouldn’t make sense to send out generic. “We have hacked your pictures and will send them if you don’t X” messages if most people didn’t have such stuff on their phone. The generic email extortion messages are “We hacked your webcam and caught you masturbating to weird stuff and are going to show everyone what you were jerking off to.” Not “We got ur n00dz”. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/50 "2025-07-24T18:11:38Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > The generic email extortion messages are “We hacked your webcam and caught you masturbating to weird stuff and are going to show everyone what you were jerking off to.” Not “We got ur n00dz”. This is certainly the extortion I’ve gotten scores of times. I’ve never gotten, “we found your sexts and will publish them”. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/51 "2025-07-24T20:47:15Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > The existence of extortion schemes would seem to further corroborate the phenomenon. It wouldn’t make sense to send out generic. “We have hacked your pictures and will send them if you don’t X” messages if most people didn’t have such stuff on their phone. Those scams depend on absolute numbers, not percentages. Even if only 10% of the population has done it, that’s still plenty of people. Compare to the mass-mailed scams purporting to come from a bank: Most people don’t do business with that bank, either. ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/52 "2025-07-24T21:00:38Z")
Marg of Arg and the Headless Man was an early Polaroid-enabled example of this. At the time Polaroid cameras were cutting edge technology in England and the Ministry of Defence were one of the very few organisations that had them. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2025, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/53 "2025-07-25T00:12:33Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > This is a huge thing these days. There’s a “sextortion” support subreddit that has a daily stream of people, mainly age 14-24 males talking about how they met some girl on an app, she offered to get frisky on camera then as soon as he’s showing the goods he’s hit with an extortion demand. Usually there’s not a woman at all but just some dude overseas doing the text chatting and then playing a video of her “undressing”, etc while he’s reciprocating. Other operations may use a stand-in woman in on the scam. This infuriates me. Teen boys have committed suicide over it. God I hope when my son is a teen he knows he can come to his parents with this kind of stuff. I can tell him he can tell me anything, but I need him to believe it. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2025, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/54 "2025-07-25T00:16:43Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > The generic email extortion messages are “We hacked your webcam and caught you masturbating to weird stuff and are going to show everyone what you were jerking off to.” Not “We got ur n00dz”. So you are saying that it has nothing to do with the topic of the OP? Odd, that. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2025, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/55 "2025-07-25T00:17:34Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > God I hope when my son is a teen he knows he can come to his parents with this kind of stuff. I’m sure you know this but he needs to know about those kinds of scams before he’s a teen. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2025, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/56 "2025-07-25T00:32:45Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > So you are saying that it has nothing to do with the topic of the OP? Odd, that. I wasn’t the first to mention it, either. Wacky, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2025, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/57 "2025-07-25T00:40:39Z")
To answer the question, no way in hell am I putting nude pics in any digital form for any reason. I’ve heard of way too many horror stories. I’m rather astonished how many people are willing to do it. Also as some remembered being sent nude pics, I have a foggy memory of some board hiccup where we were all told the normal rules don’t apply and someone started a nude pics thread in the Pit. I did not participate, but I looked. One in particular I cannot forget. I didn’t dream this, right? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2025, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/58 "2025-07-25T00:45:54Z")
No. They were migrating to a new version of software which happened over the course of two days or so. At some point they froze the board and that database was going to be the starting point. Everything posted between then and the new launch wouldn’t be saved so it was a free for all. But, yeah, the wizard staff. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2025, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/59 "2025-07-25T01:04:47Z")
Oh thank God it wasn’t just me. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2025, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228/60 "2025-07-25T01:29:21Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Have you ever sent racy photos while dating? I ask because it seems to have become a common phenomenon. In the days- long ago past- when I looked good in a swimsuit, yes, I sent that. And I got some racy pictures back, but no nudes, etc. Bikinis, lingerie, once a banana in red lips- which is sexy sure.. However, I have been out of the dating pool for two decades. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-and-the-sending-of-nude-pictures/1021228.md?page=2)