# Dating: boys more likely to be victims of violence than girls **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 30, 2018, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545 "2018-08-30T23:36:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2018, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/1 "2018-08-30T23:36:30Z")
So sayeth a recent study by the University of British Columbia reported [here](https://news.ubc.ca/2018/08/29/teen-dating-violence-is-down-but-boys-still-report-more-violence-than-girls/). > [@](#): > > When it comes to teen dating violence, boys are more likely to report being the victim of violence—being hit, slapped, or pushed—than girls. That’s the surprising finding of new research from the University of British Columbia and Simon Fraser University. > > … > > However, the researchers found 5.8 per cent of boys and 4.2 per cent of girls said they had experienced dating violence in the past year. Wow. I would never have guessed that. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2018, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/2 "2018-08-30T23:40:07Z")
Makes sense to me, if you presume that the larger percentage of people who date aren’t horrific assholes. Violence by women against men, if you define it such that a slap counts, is considered to be _nowhere near_ as bad as men smacking women around. It’s not as bad when women do it, so they do it more often because not only can they get away with it, there’s not the impression that they shouldn’t be doing it. Same as how the average person is more likely to have sped than to have killed somebody. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2018, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/3 "2018-08-30T23:45:55Z")
It is just as illegal and subject to civil or criminal action for a woman to slap a man as it is for a man to slap a woman. That does not mean the amount of damage and severity of violence by women committed against men is equivalent to the violence against women committed by men. The solution is to stop all of it. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2018, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/4 "2018-08-30T23:57:30Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > So sayeth a recent study by the University of British Columbia reported [here](https://news.ubc.ca/2018/08/29/teen-dating-violence-is-down-but-boys-still-report-more-violence-than-girls/). > > Wow. I would never have guessed that. From your quote, it doesn’t seem like they measured the severity of the assaults or the frequency. A young woman who reports 10 serious assaults would be counted the same aa a young man reporting one slap So, interesting perhaps, but not a real measure of all of the issues. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/5 "2018-08-31T00:02:11Z")
The fact that being “pushed” is counted as dating violence makes me question this - specifically, how much of a push does it have to be to have been counted. I’m a big huge male guy who could probably physically impose upon a woman without even realizing she was standing there. It wouldn’t surprise me if some women felt physically imposed upon by a guy who was trying to romance them and pushed him away - meeting a perceived physical imposition with a physical response. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/6 "2018-08-31T00:14:01Z")
Note that the report says “boys more likely to report being victims” not “boys more likely to be victims.” Part of the message being brought to light with the “Me Too” movement is that victims of sexual abuse (male and female) are often often scared to report abuse or don’t even realize what they experience is abuse. So unless abuse is reported there is no way to measure who is actually being victimized more. That being said, nobody deserves to be abused by anyone, especially if they are in a relationship. And it’s very unfortunate that it happens at such young ages. It is nice to see that the numbers are trending down, at least - but once again that is still for REPORTED infractions. ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/7 "2018-08-31T00:43:29Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Note that the report says “boys more likely to report being victims” not “boys more likely to be victims.” A really important point when looking at formal and non-anonymous reporting methods like police reports. This was based on anonymous survey. That is generally the way researchers try to avoid underreporting problems on issues like sexual assault and domestic violence. ---
**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/8 "2018-08-31T01:12:06Z")
So a guy grabs a girl’s ass, she spins around and slaps him and the guy is a victim of violence? ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/9 "2018-08-31T01:37:42Z")
And then there’s[this](https://youth.gov/youth-topics/teen-dating-violence/gender): > [@](#): > > Research also suggests that girls and boys have different motivations for aggressive acts against their partners.In reviewing research on teen dating violence, Mulford and Giordano found that > > •both boys and girls reported anger as the prime cause of their aggressive acts; > •girls were more likely to also report self-defense as a motivator for aggression; and > •boys were more likely to report the desire for control. Shoving someone who persists in, say, trying to cop a feel after a loud, clear, “NO!” is much different than punching someone in order to gain control. Seems like an oddly vague study to me. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/10 "2018-08-31T09:27:02Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Note that the report says “boys more likely to report being victims” not “boys more likely to be victims.” Sorry, but while I recognise the difference, I discount it. As the saying goes, if it’s not written down, it didn’t happen. We, the outside observer, can only go on the actual data presented. > [@](#): > > =nelliebly]Shoving someone who persists in, say, trying to cop a feel after a loud, clear, “NO!” is much different than punching someone in order to gain control. That I would call self-defence. And the person shoved would in no way be a victim. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/11 "2018-08-31T12:28:12Z")
This report still has the problem that it quantifies dating violence instead of qualifying it. The number of incidents is going to be high for all gender mixes but we already know the most severe cases will be dominated by men as the aggressor. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/12 "2018-08-31T12:35:05Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > This report still has the problem that it quantifies dating violence instead of qualifying it. I disagree. Before you can qualify something you have to quantify it. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/13 "2018-08-31T13:08:30Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Sorry, but while I recognise the difference, I discount it. As the saying goes, if it’s not written down, it didn’t happen. Come on–you’re not going to get very far as a researcher if you don’t know the difference between data gathering and HR policy. You can discount all you like, but so far, all this data says is that 1.6 % more boys self-report. With such a small number, your are, in fact, obligated to do a qualitative study to see if the difference is significant. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/14 "2018-08-31T13:28:59Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > I disagree. Before you can qualify something you have to quantify it. When the instances vary so greatly in quality then you have to qualify. Quantification alone is worthless, and in this case misleading. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/15 "2018-08-31T13:31:35Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > When the instances vary so greatly in quality then you have to qualify. Quantification alone is worthless, and in this case misleading. Do you have any actual evidence for either statement? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/16 "2018-08-31T13:47:45Z")
> [@Mangosteen](#): > > So a guy grabs a girl’s ass, she spins around and slaps him and the guy is a victim of violence? Arguably, they both are. I would call it _justified_ violence, but it might still get counted as violence. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/17 "2018-08-31T13:52:12Z")
> [@Mangosteen](#): > > So a guy grabs a girl’s ass, she spins around and slaps him and the guy is a victim of violence? Seems to me that if, when she turns around, he’s still there and she still considers him a threat, the slap is perfectly justified as self defense. She’s making sure he doesn’t do it again. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/18 "2018-08-31T13:52:12Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Sorry, but while I recognise the difference, I discount it. As the saying goes, if it’s not written down, it didn’t happen. We, the outside observer, can only go on the actual data presented. This is not a reasonable position. Believe it or not, things actually happen whether or not someone records it. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/19 "2018-08-31T14:04:57Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > I disagree. Before you can qualify something you have to quantify it. No, first you have to qualify it in order to know what to quantify. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2018, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545/20 "2018-08-31T14:08:51Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Believe it or not, things actually happen whether or not someone records it. But if they’re not recorded we’ll never know if they happened or not. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-boys-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-violence-than-girls/820545.md?page=2)