# Dating & Courtship Survey Questions **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 4, 2015, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-courtship-survey-questions/716767 "2015-04-04T01:01:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-courtship-survey-questions/716767/21 "2015-04-04T20:59:46Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > Does this involve not making long-term commitments to the affair or telling all your family and friends that you are dating/courting this person prior to marriage? When I met my partner, we each made a permanent monogamous commitment. Everything else was prior to meeting him. And I didn’t have to tell my parents or friends anything about the others. > [@](#): > > :eek: Are you a Baby Boomer? No. I was born exactly 3 months prior to the first Boomer. And do you find Boomers horrifying? ---
**Author:** ![Umbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Umbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-courtship-survey-questions/716767/22 "2015-04-04T21:01:04Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > You’re way overthinking it. You need to dial your “analytical” thinking back about 99% and rely on your intuition and just go with the flow. The only chance this thread will help you at all is if it makes you realize you need to stop planning for a romantic life like you’re doing. I think the most important question is the money. How much money is one willing to spend on a date? Another important concern would be personal appearance and hygiene. How should one dress up and make up oneself? How much money should be spent on personal appearance in order to impress the suitor? How much time does it take to lose weight in order to be physically fit and desirable? How much time should one invest in dating? How long should one wait before the suitor proposes marriage? ---
**Author:** ![Umbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Umbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-courtship-survey-questions/716767/23 "2015-04-04T21:03:27Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > When I met my partner, we each made a permanent monogamous commitment. Everything else was prior to meeting him. And I didn’t have to tell my parents or friends anything about the others. > > No. I was born exactly 3 months prior to the first Boomer. And do you find Boomers horrifying? No. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Joker\_and\_the\_Thief](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e79b87/32.png) [@The\_Joker\_and\_the\_Thief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Joker_and_the_Thief)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-courtship-survey-questions/716767/24 "2015-04-04T21:10:12Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > I think the most important question is the money. How much money is one willing to spend on a date? Another important concern would be personal appearance and hygiene. How should one dress up and make up oneself? How much money should be spent on personal appearance in order to impress the suitor? How much time does it take to lose weight in order to be physically fit and desirable? How much time should one invest in dating? How long should one wait before the suitor proposes marriage? Whatever is reasonable for the circumstances. If you have no money, you don’t have to spend any. In a doubt, going to the movies is about $20-30. Dress for the activity you are going to do. A button down shirt, khakis or nice jeans and nice shoes works if you don’t know what to do. You shouldn’t spend any money on clothes. Do the best with what you have. You can safely lose 1/pound of fat a week. As much time as works for you. However long you need. Most people take a couple years, but some take longer and some take less. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-courtship-survey-questions/716767/25 "2015-04-04T21:22:34Z")
> [@The\_Joker\_and\_the\_Thief](#): > > Whatever is reasonable for the circumstances. If you have no money, you don’t have to spend any. In a doubt, going to the movies is about $20-30. > > Dress for the activity you are going to do. A button down shirt, khakis or nice jeans and nice shoes works if you don’t know what to do. > > You shouldn’t spend any money on clothes. Do the best with what you have. > > You can safely lose 1/pound of fat a week. > > As much time as works for you. > > However long you need. Most people take a couple years, but some take longer and some take less. I agree with pretty much everything here. Except that you should occasionally spend money on clothes. Your date night clothes and actual direct date expenses should be part of your overall budget, which is an important life skill but not really related to romance. Spending money you can’t afford to impress a romantic partner will never work. It won’t make a difference with decent people and people who like someone just for their fancy sneakers or expensive dinners are creeps. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-courtship-survey-questions/716767/26 "2015-04-05T00:32:56Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > The dichotomy of “casual dating” and “serious dating” is real. Casual dating is a person dating merely for pleasure or temporary diversion. Serious dating means a person is looking for or expecting a spouse. By this definition all early dating should be casual. Going into a first date with the intention of checking out the person for marriage is a good way of never having a second date. I am a baby boomer. When I first dated, at 16, it was a time when men and women didn’t hang out that much in the casual way they do now. Dating didn’t have that much to do with how I got married. My now wife was visiting a friend at my college. Her friend was part of a group I was hanging out with. I invited her to go ice skating, more to keep her from being dragged to an operetta her friend was playing violin in than anything. But we hit it off. We never lived closer than 600 miles apart until we got married, so I suppose we went on dates when we visited each other but it would be stretching the term. Dates in the old sense were just opportunities to be alone with someone. No gifts. If it was a movie then you just needed to be presentable - not much different from going with a friend of the same sex.The goal is to have a good time and to see if you click. Excessive cost, excessive dressing up, excessive presents are just going to freak the other person out. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-courtship-survey-questions/716767/27 "2015-04-05T04:20:47Z")
1. There was no such thing as “dating” where I grew up, we went out in groups. So I didn’t “start dating” until I moved to the US. I was 25yo in my first “date”. All my life, “dates” were something that happened in the movies, when I was first asked for one I had to make sure this was real. 2. Both. 3. Not married. 4. Yes. 5. The guys I dated were from my circles of friends, or met in social activities involving those circles. Family lived in another continent. 6. They followed a “meal and sociocultural activity” kind of script, with the meal and activity in either order. 7. Never would have occurred to me. Never got any gifts from the guys either. 8. Not much, I was a graduate student and the guy usually was as broke or broker than me (even those who actually made money, some due to horrible spending habits and some to outstanding debts). 9. If you discover you’re going to get late: call or message. If you realize you don’t have enough money to pay for two meals: fucking admit it, rather than having a glass of soda while trying to encourage the lady to have a full meal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-courtship-survey-questions/716767.md?page=1)