# Dating coworkers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 24, 2012, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470 "2012-01-24T03:10:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/21 "2012-01-24T16:15:41Z")
Would and have. I have 60,000 coworkers, so anyone not in my department is fair game. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/22 "2012-01-24T16:58:55Z")
My husband and I work together, and we met here. He’s several rungs up the ladder from me. However, he’s never been my supervisor and our jobs rarely overlap. Although I can shoot a rubber band all the way to his office from here, we frequently go through the day without speaking. Some people work here quite a while before realizing we’re married. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/23 "2012-01-24T17:12:38Z")
I’ve seen 2 co-workers naked, to my lasting regret. It did not work out. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/24 "2012-01-24T17:16:20Z")
Absolutely not. I don’t even want to be friends with my co-workers. Professional lives and private lives are best kept completely separate. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/25 "2012-01-24T17:16:37Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > “Don’t get laid where you get paid” is the best proverb I’ve ever heard. That’s so much nicer than “Don’t shit where you eat”. I mean, I know metaphor is not equivalence, but it’s such an unfortunate image compared to what it is supposed to represent. Anyway I’ve just counted the number of times I’ve dipped my pen in the company ink, and it’s exactly double the number of companies I’ve worked for. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/26 "2012-01-24T17:35:39Z")
It came up as an issue at a place I worked at years ago so I asked one of our corporate attorneys if it was ok. She said it was so we did it in my car a couple times.😃 A few months later she married some other dude from work. So win-win for everyone. Really it’s so common I’m surprised it’s even a serious discussion anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/27 "2012-01-24T17:46:40Z")
I would but only if we did not work closely together. We would have to have different bosses and work on different teams or departments. Well, theoretically. I’m married now so dating anyone at work would cause problems. ---
**Author:** ![Pixel\_Dent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Pixel\_Dent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixel_Dent)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/28 "2012-01-24T17:48:07Z")
I met my wife at work. In fact the first time I ever met her was when I interviewed her for a job. I assumed everyone more or less figured out we were dating but given how shocked everyone was when they received wedding invitations after a couple years I think we were more discreet than we gave ourselves credit for. The President of that company was thrilled for us and gave us a really nice wedding gift. If it affected anyone’s morale… well as Don Draper said, “That’s what the money’s for.” Now she’s the president of a company we own together and runs sales and marketing while I run the engineering department. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/29 "2012-01-24T17:51:31Z")
Fishing off the company pier is okay. Our policy is it’s fine as long as if they work in the same group / department then neither is responsible for supervising or evaluating the other. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/30 "2012-01-24T17:52:53Z")
I married my co-worker, but the job wasn’t terribly important to either of us, and we were both gone within six months. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/31 "2012-01-24T17:57:13Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > Absolutely not. I don’t even want to be friends with my co-workers. Professional lives and private lives are best kept completely separate. In the last year, as management, I have found myself thinking the same thing. Friendships are best left outside of work. Get along, fine but there is a whole big world out there, people you work with shouldn’t know so much about your private life. Where I work people know insane amounts about each other, including family trees, inlaws, vacation plans, marital issues… It isn’t healthy in the slightest. My next job, people will know my name, that I have a spouse and child, and that is about it. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/32 "2012-01-24T18:00:58Z")
I say no, but that’s because I’m an elitist snob who works in a factory. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/33 "2012-01-24T19:03:26Z")
I’ve done it and it worked out reasonably well. We weren’t on the same team but were in the same department. We broke up after a couple of months but were on reasonably friendly terms and we both still worked our jobs for a while after that. No issues. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/34 "2012-01-25T02:36:45Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > In the last year, as management, I have found myself thinking the same thing. Friendships are best left outside of work. Get along, fine but there is a whole big world out there, people you work with shouldn’t know so much about your private life. Where I work people know insane amounts about each other, including family trees, inlaws, vacation plans, marital issues… It isn’t healthy in the slightest. My next job, people will know my name, that I have a spouse and child, and that is about it. This might be a cultural difference, but I hate working with people like that. If I’m going to spend (in my case) 60 hours a week alongside someone, I would at least like to have a comprehension of them as people rather than automata. I’ve met a lot of my best friends at work. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/35 "2012-01-25T02:52:51Z")
I voted “other.” I would certainly date someone I met at work, and not only have I done that, I ended up marrying her. But I had one rule – I wouldn’t date someone of lower “rank” than me. Too much potential for trouble, and accusations of harassment if things went wrong. The other way around, though, not my problem. So I dated (and then married, as mentioned above) a woman quite a few steps up the ladder from me. Neither of us works at that company anymore, for reasons that have nothing to do with our marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/36 "2012-01-25T02:58:04Z")
> [@BeaMyra](#): > > Right now I’m going through this with two people that dated for ten years and it’s becoming a major disaster now that they’ve broken up. Twice already I’ve had to call them in my office, (H/R Director here) and tell them to keep their own private business private or I’d get rid of them both. > > I so wish our company had a policy forbidding dating, as I can’t recall it ever working out good. Or maybe it did and the good ones never got back to me \ The ones that work out will never get back to you. My wife and I, when dating, ascertained that our company did not have a policy forbidding dating among employees. Once we knew this, we figured it was none of the company’s business, and if HR knew, they’d be sticking their noses where they weren’t welcome. So we never told anyone. In fact, nobody at the company (except a couple of close friends of many years) even knew when we got married. The way the firm found out was when one of us left the company, and the other called HR to add the spouse to the health insurance policy of the one still working there. Quite a scandal, and HR was pretty pissed off that they hadn’t been told, but a glance at their own rules showed that we weren’t required to tell them, and a phone call or two from the most senior management telling HR to leave us alone, and they got over it. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/37 "2012-01-25T08:33:09Z")
Who am I kidding? After 10 years since my last viable relationship, I can’t afford to be picky… OK, so I’m picky anyway. Yes, but only if we didn’t have to work too closely together. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/38 "2012-01-25T08:39:08Z")
I said I’d date a co-worker of similiar rank. Odd considering that a desire to date a work-study colleagues sent my life into a tailspin 10 years ago, and I’m only now recovering from it. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/39 "2012-01-25T09:12:18Z")
Would I date a coworker? Only after immediately acknowledging it’s a bad idea, then sure I would do it. (Making bad decisions has always been something I have had a knack for) ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470/40 "2012-01-25T09:31:26Z")
I said other, because I’d first have to get my wife’s approval. My former boss had an affair with a woman on his team (they were both married), and it blew up badly. She quit and he got demoted and dropped from the line of potential successors to the president. Assuming I were single, I wouldn’t date anyone in my company. There are only four of us, and the only woman is the wife of a good friend, so I wouldn’t go there. If I were single and worked for a larger company, then I would if it weren’t someone in the same team or a direct line of command. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-coworkers/610470.md?page=3)