# Dating: How much of an age gap is too much? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 22, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-how-much-of-an-age-gap-is-too-much/55431 "2001-02-22T05:01:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-how-much-of-an-age-gap-is-too-much/55431/21 "2001-02-22T18:27:40Z")
When I was 16, I dated a man who was 22. It worked out fine in my case, we had a really good relationship and all that. I guess it’s really a matter of who it is. Eleven years later, I have started to wonder what the hell he was thinking, but I still have no regrets. We talk on the phone about once a year and we can still laugh at the same things. I’m not so sure what I would think if someone I knew dated someone that young though, I guess it’s all a matter of maturity. > [@](#): > > I asked him if he honestly thought this could turn into marriage and he told me no. Ahem… These days, I wouldn’t continue a relationship with someone if I couldn’t see myself growing old with him, but geez, he’s nineteen! Would you consider marrying a girl you’re dating now? I’m just asking. ---
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-how-much-of-an-age-gap-is-too-much/55431/22 "2001-02-22T20:17:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Would you consider marrying a girl you’re dating now? Probably not, but I’m not dating a 15 year old. I can’t see the justification in dating a 15 year old girl if he doesn’t have plans for a very serious long term relationship. One of them is going to get hurt, he doesn’t think he will, and he doesn’t seem to be taking the girl’s feelings into consideration. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-how-much-of-an-age-gap-is-too-much/55431/23 "2001-02-22T21:24:32Z")
I am the father of a 14 year old daughter. I was a 19 year old boy 23 years ago. If she was 15 and a 19 year old college freshman even dared to even think this was something he should attempt I would … well… let’s just say he would not -“whack”- be -“bang”- encouraged -“where’s my shovel?”- to pursue that relationship. You don’t see many 19 year old girls dating 15 year old boys do you? There is normally a HUGE difference in the place a 19 year old and 15 year old respective heads are at. Even if girls do mature faster than boys physically they are in completely different social contexts. He is a young adult and she is a child. I can think of several reasons why a 19 year old boy would want to date a 15 year old girl. 1: He can’t score with his peers so the younger ones are easy pickings. 2: He is immature or otherwise socially disfunctional. 3: Younger women look up to older boys/men and are easier to control. None of these give me any reason to that this would be a good idea in the real world. The image of a 15 year old who informs she is pregnant or wants an abortion makes this picture even less appealing. For every one “lasting true love” tale of 15 year old girl / 19 year old boy relationships let me assure you there are at least a dozen that end with young single mothers or trips to the abortion clinic. What amazes me about this story is that her parents tolerate this. ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-how-much-of-an-age-gap-is-too-much/55431/24 "2001-02-22T22:22:32Z")
I know someone who is currently dating a freshman. This person is a junior. His girlfriend is 14. He will be turning 17 next week. His girlfriend will be turning 15 in May. Is this too odd? A freshman going to prom? If they continue, a college freshman with a HS sophomore, a college sophomore with a highschool junior. Let’s look at the progression of ages (assuming it’s long term. . .which is sometimes not a good assumption. . .) ```auto Her age __________ His age 14................16 14................17 15................17 15................18 16................18 16................19 17................19 17................20 18................20 etc. ``` The 18, 15 thing kind of weirds me out a bit, but I don’t know. What do you all think? ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-how-much-of-an-age-gap-is-too-much/55431/25 "2001-02-22T23:01:40Z")
Well… I was 24 and Mrs. Bdgr was 18 when we started dating. She was still in high school…Barely. I was, emotionally, quite younger though. I’m now 36 and she’s 30. Man I feel old. The age differance wasn’t a problem. 19 and 15 is a differant story altogeather. As you get older, the age differance matters less and less. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-how-much-of-an-age-gap-is-too-much/55431/26 "2001-02-22T23:02:37Z")
It totally depends on the people. When I was 16, I dated a guy who was 29 for a little while (no sex) and my boyfriend for 2 years of high school was 18 / I was 14 when we started dating. The oldest guy I ever dated was 14 years older than me at the time, but I was more mature than him (by far). I married my husband when I was 19 and he was 21 and it’s been fine, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-how-much-of-an-age-gap-is-too-much/55431.md?page=1)