# Dating in small towns/semi-rural/rural areas: Best Practices? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 2, 2018, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730 "2018-01-02T01:52:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/1 "2018-01-02T01:52:09Z")
This thread is an obvious follow-up to[my thread here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=845658). Something I posted in _that_ thread was: > [@](#): > > This is a rural community, the dating pool is not deep, so “dating around” is not a very familiar concept. There’s no such thing as “checking out your options,” because there just aren’t many. I have great faith in the SDMB to find other ways of looking at all kinds of issues, so here goes: How do I go about meeting people (i.e., datable women, aged 35+) in a small town? I grew up in one, and my first answer would be to go to church, but I’m not religious, so that’s a dead end. Is there some trick to this I haven’t thought of? I’m especially looking for intellectual, liberal types, the more geeky/nerdy the better. If they’re hiding somewhere (I’m about 90 minutes outside D.C., so I’m sure there are SOME) how do I flush them out? ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/2 "2018-01-02T02:46:30Z")
Try the online dating sites. Note you will want to set a larger radius than you would in a city. Join voluntary organizations from political to humane societies to environmental groups. Be sociable: meet your neighbors and chat up people wherever you come across them. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/3 "2018-01-02T02:55:10Z")
I am assuming you want to date women without children, get a dog and go to dog parks. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/4 "2018-01-02T02:57:27Z")
> [@Lizard](#): > > This thread is an obvious follow-up to[my thread here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=845658). Something I posted in _that_ thread was: > > I have great faith in the SDMB to find other ways of looking at all kinds of issues, so here goes: How do I go about meeting people (i.e., datable women, aged 35+) in a small town? I grew up in one, and my first answer would be to go to church, but I’m not religious, so that’s a dead end. Is there some trick to this I haven’t thought of? I’m especially looking for intellectual, liberal types, the more geeky/nerdy the better. If they’re hiding somewhere (I’m about 90 minutes outside D.C., so I’m sure there are SOME) how do I flush them out? Find a Unitarian Universalist church. Trust me, you’ll find women, all lefty, there. Plus, it’s UU. It’s like going to church without the religious aspects. Plus the potlucks are awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/5 "2018-01-02T03:09:57Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > Find a Unitarian Universalist church. Trust me, you’ll find women, all lefty, there. Plus, it’s UU. It’s like going to church without the religious aspects. > > Plus the potlucks are awesome. No good. I tried that. The youngest person there (after myself; I’m early 40s) was at least 60. I’m not ageist, but that’s just a bit awkward. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/6 "2018-01-02T03:11:15Z")
library ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/7 "2018-01-02T03:15:49Z")
> [@Lizard](#): > > No good. I tried that. The youngest person there (after myself; I’m early 40s) was at least 60. I’m not ageist, but that’s just a bit awkward. You gotta give it more time. Those little old ladies will try to set you up. Invest the time. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/8 "2018-01-02T03:48:15Z")
^^^ That’s what I was thinking. Some surely have daughters and grand-daughters who are not attached. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/9 "2018-01-02T17:38:22Z")
> [@j666](#): > > library I would put that in the “church” category – it just seems to be the domain of older people … and bums. Not to be negative; they all gotta go SOMEWHERE. Maybe I’m looking for a unicorn?! ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/10 "2018-01-02T17:41:42Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > You gotta give it more time. Those little old ladies will try to set you up. > > Invest the time. Hmm. You do have a point. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/11 "2018-01-02T17:54:36Z")
Any colleges / universities in your area? If so, they probably sponsor public lectures, art gallery receptions, theater performances, and other activities likely to attract people who are smart and nerdy (and most of the faculty probably meet this description). ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/12 "2018-01-02T18:14:54Z")
Maybe farmers markets or community events or art shows? ---
**Author:** ![Crazy\_Canuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazy_canuck/32/5282_2.png) [@Crazy\_Canuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazy_Canuck)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/13 "2018-01-02T18:43:03Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > You gotta give it more time. Those little old ladies will try to set you up. > > Invest the time. As someone who was lived and dated in small town Canada most of my life, this advice is rock solid, and worthy of a QFT. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/14 "2018-01-02T19:13:58Z")
If you’re looking for smart / nerdy women, have you looked into gaming groups or stores? There might not be anything like that in your area, but if there’s something like a game store in your area (or even a gaming group that meets at a library), that might be worthwhile to check out. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/15 "2018-01-02T20:22:45Z")
Go take some yoga classes - it’s good for you, and I guarantee you’ll meet women. Please don’t be creepy, though. If there are still physical book stores in your area, look for flyers for book clubs (if not, check online). Hmm, 90 minutes outside DC. If you’re in the Frederick MD area, I may be able to make some recommendations. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/16 "2018-01-02T20:29:27Z")
OP: exactly what do you mean by “small town”? What is roughly the population of the town and the county? ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/17 "2018-01-02T22:53:22Z")
Are there any community theater groups in your area? I can’t tell you how many romances I’ve seen sparked among people appearing in a show or doing tech work…for all kinds of reasons. If I were on the market I’d audition in a heartbeat. ---
**Author:** ![Unabashed\_Fascist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/c2a13f/32.png) [@Unabashed\_Fascist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unabashed_Fascist)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2018, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/18 "2018-01-03T17:14:02Z")
Tinder? I used it when living in Reno, and had quite a few people show up from local rural areas, 20-45 minutes outside of town. I know Tinder is known as a hook-up app, but I’ve had it lead more serious endeavors as well. Plus it takes some of the uncertainty out of flirting. You know the person you matched with, at very least, finds you physically attractive. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2018, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/19 "2018-01-03T22:53:00Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I am assuming you want to date women without children, get a dog and go to dog parks. Sorry, no. It’s a rural area; the entire countryside is a dog park. The don’t have dog parks; they don’t need 'em. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-in-small-towns-semi-rural-rural-areas-best-practices/805730/20 "2018-01-04T13:38:21Z")
I’ll tell you what has worked for me. I’m in a rural/small town setting, and whenever I’ve not been in a committed relationship (or married) I’ve had fun dating. I do stuff without thinking about meeting women. I go to a bar, go out to eat, see a band, go kayaking with a meet-up group, go for sushi, take my dog for a walk, shop at Sam’s Club, go fishing, wash my car, etc. The same things I’d be doing if I was in a relationship, only solo. I meet people, talk, end up dating. If I went out with the sole purpose of hooking up I’d probably fail miserably.