# Dating question regarding chemistry / sparks. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 15, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-question-regarding-chemistry-sparks/661093 "2013-06-15T22:08:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-question-regarding-chemistry-sparks/661093/1 "2013-06-15T22:08:14Z")
I’m heading out on a (second!) date tonight. Right now on paper almost everything between myself and this woman seems to line up well. She has a nice personality, and like myself is a teacher. We seem to have lots of similar interests (travelling, watching same kinds of shows, she has a background in music). I’m really not sure though if we have that enigmatic “chemistry” though. I’ve only ever been with one Woman before. Is it unreasonable to expect sparks and excitement like the first time? Or as an older wiser adult…should I be less concerned about those things and think more logically? Probably a hard question to answer I know. Our first date went well…no lulls in conversation and everything flowed well. Right now I’m going into tonight with the attitude to have a great date…but that if I’m not really feeling the excitement…we are probably better as friends. Thanks everyone. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2013, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-question-regarding-chemistry-sparks/661093/2 "2013-06-15T22:15:13Z")
Good luck! I just had a WTF? was I thinking moment today regarding a possible date but that’s for another thread. Damnit. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2013, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-question-regarding-chemistry-sparks/661093/3 "2013-06-15T22:18:21Z")
Personally, I think those “Sparks” you speak of are highly over rated. There is a lot to be said for a “slow burn”. Wherein you guys take your time to learn more about each other and build a solid foundation of trust. At that point, you guys will be able to truly relax around each other and then the REAL personalities come out. Quite possibly, with sparks. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-question-regarding-chemistry-sparks/661093/4 "2013-06-16T01:46:59Z")
Don’t sweat the sparks, those aren’t what sustain a relationship. That stuff is temporary anyway. ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2013, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-question-regarding-chemistry-sparks/661093/5 "2013-06-16T05:43:48Z")
My most passionate relationship started off with a very dull first date. The sparks came somewhat unexpectedly between the 2nd and 3rd… And as others have said the sparks don’t sustain relationships, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2013, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-question-regarding-chemistry-sparks/661093/6 "2013-06-16T07:43:15Z")
Thanks guys. The date went really well. I’ll leave it at that 🙂 Life is exciting right now! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2013, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-question-regarding-chemistry-sparks/661093/7 "2013-06-16T07:46:55Z")
Glad to hear it!