# Dating your Cousin in the UK **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 16, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808 "2009-11-16T19:06:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/21 "2009-11-17T16:20:24Z")
I don’t get what the big deal about marrying first cousins is. And I’ve always been surprised when people express revulsion at the idea of second- or third-cousin relationships, since those people are barely related at all. My mother’s sister married her first cousin, here in the U.S., back in the 1950s and had three boys who are all (genetically speaking) normal as far as I can tell. One’s a rather troubled born-again Christian, but I don’t think I can lay that to genetics. ---
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/22 "2009-11-17T16:32:29Z")
OK, so _marrying_ one’s first cousin is different from just dating them but it might be interesting to see whether there’s any legal reason - in the UK - why they shouldn’t. I was an Assistant Registrar in the 80s/90s and had to be familiar with the relevant Schedule of the Marriage Act 1949 which is still the basis for all marriages here. As it stands currently, the list is here [http://www.opsi.gov.uk/RevisedStatutes/Acts/ukpga/1949/cukpga\_19490076\_en\_11#sch1](http://www.opsi.gov.uk/RevisedStatutes/Acts/ukpga/1949/cukpga_19490076_en_11#sch1). Absolutely no problem with cousins. I’m afraid I cannot be bothered trying to find out whether marriage legislation in the US is substantially different in that regard … ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/23 "2009-11-17T16:47:26Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Charles Darwin married his first cousin, and their kids had some serious health problems. I don’t remember ever hearing that they were ostracized due to consanguinity, though. Charles and Emma Darwin lost three of their ten children in infancy or childhood. Keep in mind this was the mid-19th century, and that it wasn’t unusual to lose several children, cousin marriage or not. Annie, who died aged ten, was weakened by an attack of scarlet fever (possibly coupled with tuberculosis) not any sort of congenital malady. Those diseases killed a lot of children. Of their surviving children, William Erasmus lived a long life and had a respectable career as a banker; Etty lived to 86 and served as her father’s editor and posthumous defender; Frank earned an MB, served as his father’s editor and assisted him with some of his botany experiments, and died aged 77; Elizabeth lived into her seventies; George was an astronomer and mathematician and died aged 67; Leonard became a soldier, politician, economist, and eugenicist and lived to be 93; and Horace was a civil engineer and served as the Mayor of Cambridge, dying at 77. There is evidence that their father fretted over their health and intellects, but I feel that evidence suggests that this was not a family of misshapen dullards. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/24 "2009-11-17T17:00:09Z")
In another thread about Darwin, someone had posted links showing that at least three of the kids suffered from fits and perhaps had some neurological disorders, IIRC. ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/25 "2009-11-17T17:03:23Z")
To actually answer the OP: no, amongst my generation (early 20s), marrying your first cousin is not acceptable. In fact, I’m willing to bet most will find the idea repulsive (I do), and even marrying your second cousin weird. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/26 "2009-11-17T17:37:45Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Not titled aristocracy, but gentry, at least. The specific examples I was thinking of were _The Secret Garden_ and one of the later _Harry Potter_ books. It comes a in the P.G. Wodehouse stories, in particular the Blandings novels. It sometimes happened that a snooty mother, aided and abetted by equally snooty aunts, would push her offspring in the direction of a cousin, when the offspring was planning to elope with someone from humbler origins. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/27 "2009-11-17T17:39:41Z")
> [@seosamh](#): > > I’m afraid I cannot be bothered trying to find out whether marriage legislation in the US is substantially different in that regard … Depends on the state. [Here’s a list](http://marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelicenses/a/cousin.htm) of marriage license laws as they apply to cousin marriages state by state. In short: no marrying your first cousin in Arkansas, Delaware, Idaho, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Missouri, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Texas, Washington, or Wyoming. Several other states permit first-cousin marriage only if the cousins are related by adoption rather than blood, or if they’re half-cousins, or if the union is expected to be infertile. ---
**Author:** ![Racer1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@Racer1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Racer1)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/28 "2009-11-17T18:07:32Z")
> [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](#): > > To actually answer the OP: no, amongst my generation (early 20s), marrying your first cousin is not acceptable. In fact, I’m willing to bet most will find the idea repulsive (I do), and even marrying your second cousin weird. Just to back this up - I’m 31, in the UK, and I would find it freakish. A had a friend who dated her second cousin a couple of years back, and while we were all polite (if luke warn) about it to her face, everyone was a bit weirded out and joked behind her back about whether they’d be moving to Norfolk. Maybe it was normal in the past, but I don’t think many think it is now. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/29 "2009-11-17T22:16:52Z")
Quoth **commasense** : > [@](#): > > I don’t get what the big deal about marrying first cousins is. And I’ve always been surprised when people express revulsion at the idea of second- or third-cousin relationships, since those people are barely related at all. Personally, I draw the line at double-second-cousins-once-removed-on-one-side. ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/30 "2009-11-17T23:21:58Z")
If one of my mates started going out with his cousin, I’d make fun of him. Even if she’s hot. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/31 "2009-11-26T16:54:14Z")
A NYT article about the slow destigmatization of cousin marriage in the U.S.: [http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/26/garden/26cousins.html?\_r=1&hpw](http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/26/garden/26cousins.html?_r=1&hpw) ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/32 "2009-11-26T18:17:48Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > In another thread about Darwin, someone had posted links showing that at least three of the kids suffered from fits and perhaps had some neurological disorders, IIRC. I mentioned that in my post. We know that Darwin was very concerned over his children’s health, but the ones who survived to adulthood all lived long, successful lives. The three that died young were carried off by childhood illnesses, which killed a lot of children back then. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/33 "2009-11-27T01:06:53Z")
> [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](#): > > To actually answer the OP: no, amongst my generation (early 20s), marrying your first cousin is not acceptable. Amongst your generation, or amongst the people you know (and with whom you presumably share a somewhat similar lifestyle)? I often noticed that there’s a significant difference, and that many people just assume that more or less everybody in their group age behave/think more or less like them, while it’s often untrue. ---
**Author:** ![toodlepip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@toodlepip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toodlepip)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/34 "2009-11-27T01:59:31Z")
I live in a pretty remote part of the UK, where cousin marriage was relatively common a couple of generations ago. The local dentists claim they still see a high percentage of a particular tooth root abnormality in the more isolated villages, where there also used to be relatively high incidence of deafness and mental disability. To my knowledge, there are no statistics to back this up, though. Fortunately, the gene pool is bigger now. The general attitude towards first cousin marriage is that it’s creepy, although there’s no stigma attached to admitting it happened in your family in past generations. Second and third cousin marriage would be difficult to avoid, most of the natives are related in some way. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/35 "2009-11-27T20:59:26Z")
**pretend my name is witty** said: > [@](#): > > If one of my mates started going out with his cousin, I’d make fun of him. Even if she’s hot. _Especially_ if she’s hot and you thought you had a chance with her? 😉 According to Eric Flynt in the 1632 novels, the Appalacians actually paid very close attention to lineage, such that two people might have the same last name and be able to date because of the distance in actual kinship. Don’t know how that relates to cases of first cousins marrying. ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/36 "2009-11-27T22:11:37Z")
Yeah, but standard guy rules mean that any attractive relatives are entirely segregated from friends. Ideally, friends shouldn’t know they exist at all. Should have mentioned in my first post; I’m from SW-England, live in Glasgow. I forgot that my membership has lapsed and it no longer says where I’m from. Why I thought my personal opinion might have been relevant! ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/37 "2009-11-28T00:02:53Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Depends on the state. [Here’s a list](http://marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelicenses/a/cousin.htm) of marriage license laws as they apply to cousin marriages state by state. > > In short: no marrying your first cousin in Arkansas, Delaware, Idaho, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Missouri, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Texas, Washington, or Wyoming. Several other states permit first-cousin marriage only if the cousins are related by adoption rather than blood, or if they’re half-cousins, or if the union is expected to be infertile. Contrast this with Canada, where not only can cousins marry, but so too can uncle/neice and aunt/nephew pairs. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/38 "2009-11-28T00:06:23Z")
Whoa, really? What about half-siblings-- They’re about as closely related as uncle/niece. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/39 "2009-11-28T00:10:34Z")
Huh. I thought from the title that this thread was going to be about Jerry Lee Lewis. You could lose your mind… ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808/40 "2009-11-28T00:20:16Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Whoa, really? What about half-siblings-- They’re about as closely related as uncle/niece. That’s prohibited. The law in question is the [_Marriage (Prohibited Degrees) Act_](http://laws.justice.gc.ca/eng/M-2.1/20091127/page-0.html?rp2=HOME&rp3=SI&rp4=all&rp5=marriage&rp9=cs&rp10=L&rp13=50#idhit1), a federal statute: > [@](#): > > **1.** This Act may be cited as the _Marriage (Prohibited Degrees) Act_. > > **2.** (1) Subject to subsection (2), persons related by consanguinity, affinity or adoption are not prohibited from marrying each other by reason only of their relationship. > > (2) No person shall marry another person if they are related lineally, or as brother or sister or half-brother or half-sister, including by adoption. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-cousin-in-the-uk/517808.md?page=3)