# Dating your sister in law's sister **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 28, 2015, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234 "2015-03-28T20:53:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/41 "2015-03-30T10:06:59Z")
I think some of my great-aunts did something like that. They married brothers, or maybe cousins, or maybe just two unrelated guys with the same last name. Anyway, it was a different time. Divorce was a lot less common, and that meant slightly different repercussions, for better or worse. > [@TriPolar](#): > > 1 in 10 chance of success. [snip] …do you want to take the chance? > > Of course if it was me I’d go for it, no point passing up the chance to bang a hot chick. Is this what “Tripolar” means? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/42 "2015-03-30T10:08:33Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Two of my classmates had identical names. Their fathers were brothers; their mothers were sisters; they were born within hours of each other. And some asshole allowed both sets of parents to give them identical firstnames. And then, they got to attend the same school, so they got to be in the same class. At least they looked different, that helped. Were they named after the same grandparent or something? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/43 "2015-03-30T11:27:28Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Two of my classmates had identical names. Their fathers were brothers; their mothers were sisters; they were born within hours of each other. And some asshole allowed both sets of parents to give them identical firstnames. And then, they got to attend the same school, so they got to be in the same class. At least they looked different, that helped. Well, to be fair, who would keep track of the fact that a baby and its cousin had the same name? ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/44 "2015-03-30T12:22:12Z")
My brother and I are married to sisters. It will be 38 years for me and my wife and coming up on 33 years for my brother and sister-in-law (twice!). Seems to be working for all of us. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/45 "2015-03-30T12:33:46Z")
Some families don’t have a lot of drama. They like each other and are pretty supportive of each other and recognize that the world can be an untidy place. Having a good sense of humor helps, too. The one example of which I’m aware were both long time marriages. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/46 "2015-03-30T12:49:11Z")
> [@missred](#): > > My dad and his brother married sisters. In addition, two of my mother’s brothers married sisters. All lasted until death did they part. I have three double first cousins (cousins on both sides). Grammar sidebar: death did them part, i.e. death did part them. Death parted them from each other; they didn’t part death from anything. Not trying to be a grammar Nazi; it’s just I see people misunderstand the phrase a lot because of the extra “do” and the word order. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/47 "2015-03-30T13:04:24Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > If he was already close to the SIL, I’d say it might be worth going for it. The potential drama involved with dating a family member is greater, but if he knew the SIL well and felt there was a decent chance of a relationship, maybe its worth the risk. I agree with this. I think a chance of a good relationship is worth a risk, and this risk doesn’t seem excessive. However, since the OP hardly knows her and therefore still has lots of other options without the family “disadvantage” it’s hard to see why they would choose to make life difficult on purpose. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/48 "2015-03-30T13:12:03Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > 1 in 10 chance of success. In that slim chance you marry the sister Why is marriage the definition of success for a 25 year old and a 20 year old? Success could be they date, it grows into a steady relationship that they both enjoy, then as one or both of them face a crossroads or just simply grow apart they break up. Something like that could be a lovely little success. 20 year olds shouldn’t even be thinking of marriage and 25 year olds should just be starting to think about it (if at all). Personally, I’m really surprised at all the resistance in this Thread. I see zero problem with the two brothers paired with two sisters angle. Siblings who are particularly close often run in the same social circles during the dating stages of life. A pair of siblings paired with a pair of siblings can’t be all that uncommon. My concern (am I alone in this?) is that the only reason the OP gives for being interested in this girl is because “she’s pretty hot”. Really? You’ve been connected to this family for more than 4 years and the only thing you know about this girl is that she’s pretty hot? Kinda sounds like someone who you had no interest in as a person grew into a pretty hot young adult and _now_ you want to get to know her. “Seems like a nice person” is the kind of thing people say to try to convince themselves that they’re not interested in a person simply because that person is hot. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/49 "2015-03-30T14:10:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > My father married his twin brother’s wife’s younger sister, AKA my late mother, AKA Earth’s greatest woman. Jeepers, **Skald** , your family tree doesn’t branch, it just goes straight! As to the OP, it wouldn’t even occur to me as an issue. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/50 "2015-03-30T14:13:11Z")
> [@JerrySTL](#): > > My brother and I are married to sisters. It will be 38 years for me and my wife and coming up on 33 years for my brother and sister-in-law (twice!). > > Seems to be working for all of us. Twice? As in they got divorced and re-married? How did the divorce effect the relationships between the 4 of you? ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/51 "2015-03-30T15:15:09Z")
I don’t think the family connection part makes it a non-starter but the fact that she lives several hours away and your primary interest being that she’s “pretty hot” makes it unlikely to be successful. You’d probably be better off fishing in your own local pond. ---
**Author:** ![SJL4041](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@SJL4041](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SJL4041)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/52 "2015-03-30T16:02:39Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well, to be fair, who would keep track of the fact that a baby and its cousin had the same name? A lot of people keep track and get annoyed when a cousin is named something that they wanted, because they don’t think cousins should have the same name. It’s weird but there it is. I know one family that had a big blow-out over which sibling was allowed to name their kid after the grandpa. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/53 "2015-03-30T16:09:10Z")
> [@SJL4041](#): > > A lot of people keep track and get annoyed when a cousin is named something that they wanted, because they don’t think cousins should have the same name. It’s weird but there it is. I know one family that had a big blow-out over which sibling was allowed to name their kid after the grandpa. Yeah, people need to lighten up about this stuff. Cousins having the same name is historically extremely common in Anglo-American culture. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/54 "2015-03-30T18:21:06Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > I don’t think the family connection part makes it a non-starter but the fact that she lives several hours away and your primary interest being that she’s “pretty hot” makes it unlikely to be successful. You’d probably be better off fishing in your own local pond. Yeah, he might be getting a bit ahead of himself here. I’d worry about if there is any spark first. If the family does things together, it is possible to talk to her without it being a date or anything. As for the advisability of it, it probably depends a lot on how much drama the family generates. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/55 "2015-03-30T22:28:09Z")
> [@SJL4041](#): > > A lot of people keep track and get annoyed when a cousin is named something that they wanted, because they don’t think cousins should have the same name. It’s weird but there it is. I know one family that had a big blow-out over which sibling was allowed to name their kid after the grandpa. Well, I meant who in a position of authority? The poster said that whoever allowed them to do that was an asshole, as if there’s some government person who should have caught the error and intervened. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/56 "2015-03-30T23:55:57Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > My grandfather and his brother married my grandmother and her sister. Both marriages lasted to the end. > [@Dr.Drake](#): > > Ditto. [Edit: and I’m pretty sure Tom and I are not related: this was quite a common practice in the past.] Same here. ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2015, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/57 "2015-06-29T19:32:42Z")
Assuming that your SIL and her sister have comparable looks etc., you must think your brother has good taste in women. I’d be annoyed if my brother wanted to get it on with my wife’s sister (though better her than with my wife). ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2015, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/58 "2015-06-29T19:51:37Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Different cultures have different naming conventions. In some parts of Europe, during certain times, almost every male member of the family would have the same, exact name. That’s one of the reasons that diminutives/nicknames are so common in Anglo-American culture—there were only so many “real” names to go around. Which made _I, Claudius_ absolutely the devil to read. To the OP: It has happened, and it does happen in Indian families, where they tie the families with a “double knot” and intermarry twice. I don’t see why it can’t be successful, but I don’t know if 25/20 is the right age to make it so. Does she even like you, btw? ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2015, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234/59 "2015-06-29T23:03:18Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > This, and more: My grandfather and his identical twin brother married my grandmother and her identical twin sister. And no, I don’t think they ever “switched”. Which makes you and your cousins, genetic siblings. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating-your-sister-in-laws-sister/716234.md?page=2)