# dating **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 5, 2014, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097 "2014-06-05T05:26:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kapossible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c2a13f/32.png) [@kapossible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapossible)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/1 "2014-06-05T05:26:45Z")
i met this guy on a dating site, it started out very well, we went on 4 dates, he text me every morning, every night all day every day, called every night and we talked on phone for 2 hours, on 4th date he invited me to his house, we had sex, he continued to text and call daily, then one day just stopped, did not hear from him for ddays till one day he tells me the chemistry he is looking for is just not there, sorry I wasted your time and best of luck to you, what does this really me, he sucked in bed and at kissing. He also shared ALOT of personal things about his life and one big thing, he was only divorced a month, was married for 22 years and hated her for 17 of those years, had a affair that lasted 2 years and got caught by both his grown daughters, one dis owned him, and is still friends with the women he had the long time affair with, I just dont understand how he shared a big chunk of his life in a short time and then poof he uses that lame excuse and prior to sex said he was telling me of the divorce so in the future when I meet his daughter she doesnt tell me before he got a chance to. Told me I was a very attractive women nightly, sweet dreams and good morning now he used that line, why? ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/2 "2014-06-05T05:30:52Z")
So you would fuck him on the fourth date. ---
**Author:** ![steatopygia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steatopygia/32/3132_2.png) [@steatopygia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steatopygia)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/3 "2014-06-05T05:32:17Z")
As no man has said before, it’s because you don’t have enough periods. ---
**Author:** ![kapossible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c2a13f/32.png) [@kapossible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapossible)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/4 "2014-06-05T05:36:24Z")
I typed it in the dark LOL . I know spelling and grammar is poor, this evening. But, never the less, I do have a masters, but point is, what do you think? Yes I did bang him on the fourth date ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/5 "2014-06-05T05:37:49Z")
He’s a jerk I guess, and you need to be a better judge of character. Not much more to it than that. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![kapossible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c2a13f/32.png) [@kapossible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapossible)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/6 "2014-06-05T05:44:42Z")
Thank you, yes I agree with you. The chemistry thing was just a excuse I suppose, well thanks everyone for your responses. I did not capitalize, mis spelled words and as it has been pointed out , I used NO periods. Im sorry, next time I must proof read prior to posting a question. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/7 "2014-06-05T07:53:56Z")
**Moderator Action** Welcome to the SDMB, **kapossible**. The general questions forum is for questions with factual answers. Since this is a question of opinion and speculation, it belongs in our IMHO forum. Moving thread from General Questions to In My Humble Opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/8 "2014-06-05T07:55:53Z")
You were a rebound fling. I’d have to say you probably didn’t stand a chance regardless of how awesome you might be. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/9 "2014-06-05T07:56:43Z")
You banged a guy who openly admitted to hating his wife for 17 years and cheating on her for 2 years? Someone here has made questionable decisions and it isn’t the dude. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/10 "2014-06-05T11:02:02Z")
Posting while drunk is a post-grad degree now? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/11 "2014-06-05T12:08:41Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > You banged a guy who openly admitted to hating his wife for 17 years and cheating on her for 2 years? He sounds like quite a catch, doesn’t he? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/12 "2014-06-05T12:11:26Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Posting while drunk is a post-grad degree now? Well, we’re in summer session now, so maybe it’s an internship? ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/13 "2014-06-05T12:18:03Z")
So many of these dating posts filter down to “why is this jerk/nutjob/asshole behaving like a jerk/nutjob/asshole?” Since that question answers itself, what’s the **real** question? I suspect it’s “why did I pick another jerk/nutjob/asshole to sleep with?” Isn’t that the real issue - he was who he was long before you made the scene. You’ve got a pretty solid list of bad qualities and red flags, so you knew all along he was trouble. Instead of focusing on what an awful person he is, work out why you wanted to be with an awful person. Because from the tone of your posts, you still sorta do. There’s a definite “the food was awful - wait, I can’t have seconds?” vibe here. Maybe that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/14 "2014-06-05T12:36:14Z")
He’s not that in to you. I think you won the game with this one, though, as be doesn’t seem like a great catch. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/15 "2014-06-05T12:36:50Z")
> [@kapossible](#): > > …till one day he tells me the chemistry he is looking for is just not there … He’s not your partner, lover, friend or date anymore. Unfortunately, you can no longer use him as a source of judgement or information. In his relationship with you, there is now only one person whose feelings matter to him. > [@kapossible](#): > > … now he used that line, why? Because it makes him feel better. ---
**Author:** ![kapossible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c2a13f/32.png) [@kapossible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapossible)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/16 "2014-06-05T13:25:18Z")
I never said I was drunk. I said it was late and i couldn’t sleep, so therefore I was laying in bed, typing, thinking and wondering. Thank you for all your responses, even the insinuation of one being drunk. ---
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/17 "2014-06-05T13:30:55Z")
You lucked out here: he is a bad kisser, sucks in bed, and is a cheater. Another reason is that most divorced people go a little nuts after a divorce and are usually not completely themselves. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/18 "2014-06-05T13:54:55Z")
Why worry about it? I say fuck him. Oh, that’s right you did. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Stilettos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Red\_Stilettos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Stilettos)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/19 "2014-06-05T14:03:16Z")
I agree with Zulema. In the midst of a divorce and shortly thereafter, you do really stupid things with regard to dating. I think this guys was pretty stupid before the divorce, so he was probably especially low. ---
**Author:** ![kapossible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c2a13f/32.png) [@kapossible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapossible)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097/20 "2014-06-05T14:18:04Z")
OUCH, to don’t ask!!! Your comment was remarkably funny, though. I get it, I was stupid, he used me, I was a game. Once a cheater, always a repeater, I guess I should be happy the relationship did not continue on to where family members were met, etc. I would of been the next women he would of done his bs to. Divorce or no divorce, he was caught in the act by both his daughters, continued a affair for 2 years and still remains friends with the women he had a affair with. (although he claims she has a boyfriend) Apparently, being disowned by his oldest daughter is no worry of his. Why he tells his fabulous stories to women is beyond me. His oldest daughter will not speak to him, in any form of any type of communication and said she will NEVER forgive him or speak to him again. Red flags were smacking me in the head, need not to have the blinders on. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dating/690097.md?page=2)