# Daughter has told me she identifies as a male, but does she really?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-has-told-me-she-identifies-as-a-male-but-does-she-really/948729>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [August 15, 2021, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-has-told-me-she-identifies-as-a-male-but-does-she-really/948729 "2021-08-15T14:48:44Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2021, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-has-told-me-she-identifies-as-a-male-but-does-she-really/948729/44 "2021-08-19T09:11:32Z")

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> [@Dangerosa](#):
>
> IFAB - that’s identified female at birth

I’ve always seen it expressed as Assigned Female/Male At Birth. Is it saying the same thing or is it different somehow? Newer preferred terminology?

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**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2021, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-has-told-me-she-identifies-as-a-male-but-does-she-really/948729/45 "2021-08-19T13:22:49Z")

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No, you are right, I had a brain slip.

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**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2021, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-has-told-me-she-identifies-as-a-male-but-does-she-really/948729/46 "2021-08-19T14:45:43Z")

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Society is changing, albeit slowly.

The Chicago Tribune has a daily “Today’s Birthdays” listing in the Arts&Entertainment section. I noticed a while back that they changed from “Actress Mia Farrow” to “Actor Mia Farrow” - removing the gender from the profession. Maybe in the future, the common use will be to talk about your child, not about your daughter; pronouns will move to a gender-neutral; etc.

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**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2021, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-has-told-me-she-identifies-as-a-male-but-does-she-really/948729/47 "2021-08-21T08:39:39Z")

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> [@elfkin477](#):
>
> But unfortunately, you can’t opt out of the patriarchy

That’s almost exactly the wrong explanation, but, from a male, the advice for young women is the same: dressing down doesn’t make you noticed less, it just makes you attract attention from men who are less attractive.

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**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2021, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-has-told-me-she-identifies-as-a-male-but-does-she-really/948729/48 "2021-08-21T18:30:36Z")

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> [@Melbourne](#):
>
> dressing down doesn’t make you noticed less, it just makes you attract attention from men who are less attractive.

Yikes.

The first thing I hope you’ll do, OP, is to stop writing things like “she identifies as a male.” If this kid identifies a certain way and you constantly show that you reject their identity, your kid is going to get the message loud and clear.

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