# Daughter says: "I'm really scared, Dad. I don't want to die". And she's a nurse. **URL:** \ **Category:** The Quarantine Zone\ **Tags:** covid-quarantine\ **Created:** [March 30, 2020, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638 "2020-03-30T02:21:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Raza](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raza/32/213_2.png) [@Raza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raza)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/1 "2020-03-30T02:21:30Z")
That is a text from my RN daughter two days ago. She is on the front-lines in a large hospital in the NE US. She works in the ICU, primarily cardiac; she runs ECMO and ventilator equipment. She has been exposed to COVID needlessly every day this week. She has 3 young children at home. There isn’t much left in my bag-o-tricks for this situation. I have no words of wisdom for her. I don’t think anyone does. My first career was in law enforcement. I’d leave home for a shift and I, and my family, knew it was a roll of the dice whether I’d come back. But this is different - this is a double-digit chance of catching the virus, every single day. And once caught, probably a single digit chance of dying. Her text was very chilling. Probably the most powerful two sentences my children have ever said to me. Long before COVID was around I told her she is my hero. Every week she saves lives, and pretty much every week she has to console a grieving family, too. She is fearless at work, and almost always she is the Charge Nurse for her unit. And after doing all that, she raises the 3 most amazingly well-adjusted kids. She has the energy to shower them with love and affection. I’m just sharing one tiny story in this mess; I know there isn’t anything that can be done, and lots of people have it worse. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/2 "2020-03-30T02:23:59Z")
Hugs to you and yours. This isn’t easy for any of us. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/3 "2020-03-30T02:27:30Z")
Thanks for sharing that, **Raza**. Heroism is facing down your fears to help others; your daughter IS a hero. ---
**Author:** ![Esprise\_Me](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprise_me/32/2947_2.png) [@Esprise\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprise_Me)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/4 "2020-03-30T02:30:29Z")
I’m so sorry you and your daughter have to live with this fear. She and her co-workers braving this horror are indeed heroes, and no less courageous for being afraid. I hope you all make it through OK. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/5 "2020-03-30T02:32:48Z")
Salute to her and all medical personnel. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/6 "2020-03-30T02:33:23Z")
While it isn’t easy for any of us, it’s a damned sight harder for some of us, including nurses. We’ve let down your daughter and every other nurse and doctor out there. We weren’t anywhere near prepared for this, and because we’re so terrible at taking future threats seriously, we wouldn’t have supported any proposal that would have made us prepared for this. Shame on us. As a father, you must be worried sick. I can only say I’m sorry. I wish we hadn’t been such imbeciles. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/7 "2020-03-30T02:42:51Z")
If its any consolation, I’m assuming your daughter is in her 30s or 40s. Yeah there are people in that age group who get serious illnesses, but the survival rate from that age group seems to be pretty good. Not sure how much the data has changed, but its generally over 99% from what I know. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/8 "2020-03-30T02:54:50Z")
{{{Hugs}}} So sorry. I wish you peace and safety for your family. ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/9 "2020-03-30T03:03:46Z")
Your daughter is doing amazing work. I hope she can continue doing that and remain healthy. Keeping my fingers crossed. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/10 "2020-03-30T03:14:39Z")
**Raza** , you and your daughter should know that she is not alone in her fears and frustrations. I’ve seen videos from other nurses who are overwhelmed; I’d link them but they are understandably emotional and I don’t want to add to your and her discomfort. But she is not alone in her efforts. To underscore that, I will link this story: [Health care workers flying to help NY](https://apnews.com/f2131b4a06035087afb177db809d7143) > [@](#): > > There were about 30 health care professionals including nurses, all from Atlanta-area hospitals, who were on the regularly scheduled flight to LaGuardia Airport, Hubbard said. > > “These brave souls soldier on in the midst of tremendous risk and exposure, constantly putting the needs of others above their own,” Southwest Airlines wrote in an Instagram post on Sunday. “Their selfless sacrifice is a beacon of light during such a dark time in our world, and no amount of gratitude and praise would ever be enough.” Tell her: Help is on the way. Hang in there. [https://www.instagram.com/p/B-VWhmvF6Sf/?igshid=t1om7813gk8w](https://www.instagram.com/p/B-VWhmvF6Sf/?igshid=t1om7813gk8w) ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/11 "2020-03-30T03:20:35Z")
Raza, good thoughts sent your way. Like Bo said, many of us are in on this battle. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/12 "2020-03-30T03:44:52Z")
Blessings to your daughter and her co-workers. I don’t want her to die either. They are the ones keeping the world from collapsing right now, and I appreciate their hard work. I hope they can get more help soon. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/13 "2020-03-30T03:55:17Z")
**Raza** , you have reared a phenomenal human being, who is in turn raising more phenomenal human beings. What a legacy to be proud of and examples of goodness for us all to follow. You are the best among us. We should each of us strive to be as decent and brave. My thanks and best wishes doesn’t cover it, but you have them. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/14 "2020-03-30T04:33:42Z")
**Raza** : I just read this article in _Korea Times_ this morning: [Korean nurses’ bandages become badges of honor](https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/dr/653_286240.html). Turns out that the PPE they have to wear for long hours will damage their skin if they don’t bandage up first. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/15 "2020-03-30T05:11:26Z")
**Raza** , thank you for that heartwarming and heartbreaking perspective from the front lines. Your daughter is a hero and you should be proud. The only reassurance I can give you from everything I’ve read is that while you may be correct (I have no idea) that she has a double-digit chance of catching the virus, the single-digit chance of dying from it in what I presume to be her age and health demographic is not single-digit – it is miniscule. She is understandably affected by seeing the worst cases that have affected the most vulnerable, but she isn’t going to be one of them. She is going to soldier on through this and hopefully be well rewarded for it when it’s all over along with her hard-working peers. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/16 "2020-03-30T06:58:43Z")
I’m assuming her daily exposure is due to lack of protective equipment? If so, is there an organization we can support that might be able to help? ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/17 "2020-03-30T13:13:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m just sharing one tiny story in this mess; I know there isn’t anything that can be done, and lots of people have it worse. I’m glad you did share and hope talking about it helps, if only a tiny bit. nurses have always been heroes but much more so now. I hope this crisis is a wakeup call, we get everyone the PPE they need and we end up with better healthcare in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Raza](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raza/32/213_2.png) [@Raza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raza)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/18 "2020-03-30T13:27:27Z")
Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts. It is truly heartwarming, and every one of your comments gives me comfort. When I’ve been talking to my daughter, we both agree that there is a really good chance she will get the virus (she gets exposed to it constantly, for a variety of reasons\*, none of them defensible), but as others have noted here, she should, statistically, power through it and come out just fine on the other side. Sometimes we talk about “just getting it over with”. - Part of the cause of the exposures is that she has, at times in the past week, floated to non-ICU units with COVID positive patients, and sometimes the staff there aren’t as used to dealing with these situations. They’ll leave both doors open in a negative-pressure room. Patients will knock the vent tube off, which then sprays their bodily fluids around the room. And management has been less-than-honest about supplies, so staff are strongly encouraged to use less equipment than what is truly needed. I mention these not out of anger: I understand the situation management has to cope with, there are no good choices; med-surg nurses don’t often have to deal with ventilated patients, and they likely haven’t been given updated training. It’s all a mess, and it will get worse. But thank you all so much. I know I am not alone in this exact situation, either; at least one other doper has an RN daughter. And I know some of you have loved ones who are sick or in a dire situation, or who have lost their income. In one way or another, we’re all in this together. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/19 "2020-03-30T14:00:20Z")
Prayers to you and your daughter and all the others going through this. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2020, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638/20 "2020-03-30T14:38:54Z")
My wife’s niece is going through this as well. She’s a critical care nurse supervisor. Nurses put it on the line every day as it is, working long hours and seeing a lot of pain and sorrow. What they are having to do now is way beyond that. At the end of every day, she has to thoroughly clean herself of the virus, then goes home and holes up in her basement until the next shift. She doesn’t dare go upstairs to see family and feels it’s just a matter of time until she becomes ill. My wife starts crying whenever she thinks about it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daughter-says-im-really-scared-dad-i-dont-want-to-die-and-shes-a-nurse/850638.md?page=2)