# DaveBear ... have you started any non sex related threads?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [April 28, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593 "2003-04-28T03:45:34Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/21 "2003-04-29T02:39:33Z")

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**Screaming** , not scraming. Dammit.

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**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/22 "2003-04-29T03:03:51Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by kung fu lola \*  
> \*\*This is one of the many, many reasons I like **Davebear**.
> 
> I appreciate his playfulness. Also, he makes me feel pretty. \*\*

Me too! The first time he flirted with me, I had to look behind me to see if he was talking to somebody else. 🙂

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**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/23 "2003-04-29T03:04:01Z")

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I haven’t noticed a lot of sex threads. A few, sure, but nothing excessive.

Mind you, I’ve been playing my trombone a lot lately.

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**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/24 "2003-04-29T04:20:43Z")

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Ya know…if you’re gonna throw a surprise party for someone, it’s generally considered a good idea to make sure the guest of honor is going to be there. As I just told Ol’ Meanie, I don’t really frequent the Pit. But, ummm…thank you for the…honor? :rolleyes:

I’ve got to say, though, this being Pitted isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I thought there was supposed to be goat felching. I don’t even know what that is, but I was looking forward to finding out. I brought my video camera, and some carrots for the goat. And, how can we possibly have a Pit thread about sex, without anyone having used the word fuck, so far?

Let me see if I’ve got this straight. I’ve been Pitted. For spending too much time in thtreads talking about fucking, sucking, and other lascivious, loathsome and lovely acts of recreational sex.

Threads in which we aren’t _allowed_ to use the word fuck (I think), even though that’s what we’re talking about.

So, you pulled me into the Pit for this. Because this is, after all, where such language is permitted.

It’s expected, even. Hell, it frequently runs amok, like a naked axe murderer in a convent, even in threads that are guaranteed to turn you off faster than the image of your own mother riding the wild pony.

And yet, in _ **MY** _ Pit thread, everyone is behaving like they’re at a church social? Mine! Of all people! Fuck _me_! What is this world coming to?

And, who’s up for swallowing it, when it does? 😉

And, stop talking about me like I’m dead, for crying out loud! It’s creepy! I feel like I’m listening to my own eulogy. 😃

But, I have to say, I really couldn’t ask for a better eulogy. I’m incredibly flattered to see some of the people who are standing up for me. It’s not even my “usual gang”. (And, don’t think they won’t hear about _that!_ ;))

**Meanie** , thank you for dragging my sorry ass in here. I owe you another drink. And, maybe if I get you drunk enough, you’ll tell me whether you Spit or Swallow. Inquiring minds want to know!

**betenoir** , always happy to service…errr…provide a service for you. And, I like that “sweeping the carpet naked” idea! Especially, with a nice collar. I can see that leading to some naked carpet munching, for sure. _IF_ you do a good job of sweeping.

**lel** , thank you, so much, but you better run, honey. It’s bound to get nasty around here, soon, and…oh…sorry about that. I guess I should have put you first. 😃

There’s an SDMB One-Trick-Pony Chowder and Marching Society? I love chowder! But, it better be _good_ chowder! None of that disgusting tomato soup with clams in it. See, that’s what’s wrong with New York, right there. Completely clueless about how to make chowder. How could they get anything else right, if they can’t even make chowder? That’s their whole problem in a nutsh…err…clamshell.

And, I once marched in three parades in a single day. I’m actually fairly proud of that. And, I played three different horns, one in each parade; trumpet, tuba, and double contrabass bugle. I don’t know much about horses, though. They say I’m hung like…oh…sorry, **lel**. 😊 Forgot who I was talking to.

So, what exactly IS the tone of this board? It sounds like a low E Flat, but it seems to be off by a quarter tone.

**Queenie** and **Lola** , you both _are_ pretty. I’d fuck both of you in a heartbeat. Which is a compliment, believe it or not. But, I don’t think either of you would enjoy that very much. For different reasons, of course. 😃 Maybe I should have said “I’d fuck either of you…”. Separately, like. And, that’s something I’ve only said to the two of you, on this board. 🙂 Well…so far.

**Ethilrist** and **lieu** , I’m honored to have such distinguished posters in my Pit thread. Like there’s any way of keeping those freeloaders away from a Pit party.

To the rest of you nice people, thank you! And…work on your straight lines, would ya’? 'Preciate it. 😉 And, any _not_ nice people I may not have noticed, fuck you, too.

Oh, and **CC** , the answer is yes. You figure out which question it goes with. 😃

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**Author:** ![HoldenCaulfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/22d042/32.png) [@HoldenCaulfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoldenCaulfield)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/25 "2003-04-29T05:34:58Z")

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The thing I don’t like about **Davebear** is that he’s too damn perfect. He’s always respecting women for who they are, not caring much about looks, loving women with freckles, pleasing women sexually, etc. I can’t believe it.

If there are really guys like that out there, then I’m screwed.

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**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/26 "2003-04-29T05:48:52Z")

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Don’t worry about it, **Holden** , I think men like that only exist in SDMB land. You’ll be okay. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/27 "2003-04-29T09:28:29Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Davebear \*  
> **Queenie** and **Lola** , you both _are_ pretty. I’d fuck both of you in a heartbeat.

I think you should try and last a bit longer then that, dude.

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**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/28 "2003-04-29T09:48:31Z")

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**Davebear** is cool… his threads have made me laugh and we’ve also had a fight or two over them … I like his passion for life… including his passion for sex. He makes it so women can say YES I like this, this and this and oh by the way, this thing too - and nobody raises their eyebrow and whispers _slut_ into the air…

So go Dave … keep up the good work man!

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**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/29 "2003-04-29T09:50:56Z")

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Btw your first pitting and they’re almost cuddling ya and throwing roses at your feet…

That can’t be what a pitting is 😕

The day I get pitted, no doubt I’ll be roasted over an open fire and basted in Honey sauce 😛

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**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/30 "2003-04-29T11:11:30Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by HoldenCaulfield \*  
> \*\*If there are really guys like that out there, then I’m screwed. \*\*
> 
> Sorry, dude. I don’t care how many nice things you say about me; I’m _not_ screwing you!

> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by MeanOldLady_  
> **Don’t worry about it, Holden, I think men like that only exist in SDMB land.**
> 
> _So_ untrue! But, awfully nice of you. I wonder if I could get myself assigned to that new project with the client in California? BTW, it’s awfully dark, in here, but…is that a towel, you’re wearing?

> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Kal_  
> **I think you should try and last a bit longer then that, dude.**
> 
> _Ahem!_ [Why?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=180193)

> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Rhino’sHoney_  
> **He makes it so women can say YES I like this, this and this and oh by the way, this thing too - and nobody raises their eyebrow and whispers _slut_ into the air…**
> 
> Aw, come on! _I_ can’t take credit for _that!_ Of _course_, you can say anything you like! Besides, the only slut I’ve met, here, is **betenoir** , and she’s proud of it! As she should be! 🙂
> 
> **Btw your first pitting and they’re almost cuddling ya and throwing roses at your feet…**
> 
> Yeah. Weird, huh? I think **CC** was secretly hoping I’d figure out a way to turn it into an orgy. I’m still working on it. I’m hoping **Meanie** ’s towel might…umm…slip, as I walk by. 😃
> 
> **…and basted in Honey sauce…**
> 
> Mmmmmm! _Honey sauce!_ Now, _that’s_ finger licking good! Not to mention thigh licking good. And,…what?..oh, yeah…I _did_ say _not_ to mention, didn’t I? Fool! BTW, did you bring the flavored body oil? 😃

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**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/31 "2003-04-29T12:19:20Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Davebear \*  
> \*\*And yet, in _ **MY** _ Pit thread, everyone is behaving like they’re at a church social? Mine! Of all people! Fuck _me_! What is this world coming to? \*\*

Oh, quitcher fucking whining, you asshat.

There, feel better now?😃

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**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/32 "2003-04-29T13:14:16Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Branwen \*  
> \*\*Oh, quitcher fucking whining, you asshat.
> 
> There, feel better now?😃 \*\*

Yes, thank you. And, thanks for wearing the strap-on, but I don’t think the party has quite reached that stage, yet. 😃

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**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/33 "2003-04-29T13:48:09Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Davebear \*  
> \*\*Yes, thank you. And, thanks for wearing the strap-on, but I don’t think the party has quite reached that stage, yet. 😃 \*\*

This is the Pit. I didn’t wear my strap-on, I brought my whip.

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**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/34 "2003-04-29T16:55:36Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Branwen \*  
> \*\*This is the Pit. I didn’t wear my strap-on, I brought my whip. \*\*

Oh, is that what that is? Why is it sticking out from between your…oops!..never mind. Umm…nice boots! Thigh-highs really show off your legs. 😃

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**Author:** ![flybynight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@flybynight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flybynight)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/35 "2003-04-29T17:45:39Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by HoldenCaulfield \*  
> \*\*The thing I don’t like about **Davebear** is that he’s too damn perfect. He’s always respecting women for who they are, not caring much about looks, loving women with freckles, pleasing women sexually, etc. I can’t believe it.
> 
> If there are really guys like that out there, then I’m screwed. \*\*

I wouldn’t worry too much even if he is everything he seems to be - after all, he hasn’t gotten any in what, ten years? Women can’t like it that much 😃

Sorry DB… but I’ll be damned if my first post in the pit is something nice and cozy, I don’t care who the fuck I’m talking about.

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**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/36 "2003-04-29T18:41:51Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Davebear \*  
> \*\*Umm…nice boots! Thigh-highs really show off your legs. 😃 \*\*

Thanks! I wore them just for the occasion. Now, if you mention that strap-on one more time, I’m going to _make you sorry_.😃

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**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/37 "2003-04-29T19:26:13Z")

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Is this the part where I run through the thread nekkid?😃

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**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/38 "2003-04-29T19:45:55Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Davebear \*  
> \*\*BTW, it’s awfully dark, in here, but…is that a towel, you’re wearing? \*\*

I’m actually wearing clothes for a change. Oh wait, this is the Pit. I’m actually wearing clothes, _you shit eating monkey._ 😉 And why have the past 8 posts each had a “:D” somewhere in them? Mmm, make that 9 now.

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**Author:** ![CuriousCanuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@CuriousCanuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CuriousCanuck)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/39 "2003-04-29T19:58:40Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Davebear \*  
> \*\* Orgy_\*

You figured me out 😃

And of course this “pitting” by me turned into a niceness fest. After all… who can fault one who loves sex so much? 🙂

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**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\
**Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/davebear-have-you-started-any-non-sex-related-threads/171593/40 "2003-04-29T20:34:24Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by flybynight \*  
> \*\*I wouldn’t worry too much even if he is everything he seems to be - after all, he hasn’t gotten any in what, ten years? Women can’t like it that much 😃 \*\*
> 
> **Bran** , honey? Can I borrow your whip, for a minute?

> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Branwen_  
> **if you mention that strap-on one more time, I’m going to make you sorry.**
> 
> Oooh! Promise?

> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by iampunha_  
> **Is this the part where I run through the thread nekkid?**
> 
> Any time you’re ready, dude. Just be careful…someone around here has a whip, and I’m not sure who, any more. 🆒

> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by MeanOldLady_  
> \*\*I’m actually wearing clothes for a change. \*\*
> 
> Well, it’s still early, yet. I’ll have to see what I can do to change that. 🙂
> 
> \*\* And why have the past 9 posts each had a “” somewhere in them? \*\*
> 
> Just to piss you off, honey! Oh, and make it 11, now. 😛

> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by CuriousCanuck_  
> \*\*who can fault one who loves sex so much? \*\*
> 
> Well, not me, certainly.

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