# David "Partridge Family" Cassidy - new tell-all book **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 27, 2007, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867 "2007-02-27T13:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/21 "2007-02-27T23:57:42Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Who was the last actor to _deny_ having a big schlong? [/QUOTE] Eminem. ---
**Author:** ![tiger\_lily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/96bed5/32.png) [@tiger\_lily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiger_lily)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/22 "2007-02-28T00:33:00Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Who was the last actor to _deny_ having a big schlong? [/QUOTE] Not an actor, but still… I don’t think he could have been any clearer (third story down): [Enrique Iglesias Admits He Has Very Small Penis](http://www.mostbeautifulman.com/gossip/07.shtml) ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/23 "2007-02-28T00:36:07Z")
I had a crush on him when I was younger but I was too young to understand the significance of the size of one’s member and now that I know I am too old to care about his. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/24 "2007-02-28T00:43:46Z")
[QUOTE=WordMan] 😃 It ain’t the size of the guitar, it’s how you strum it. [/QUOTE] _You_ have a guitar. _I_ have an upright bass. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/25 "2007-02-28T01:37:44Z")
Guitar or bass, if all you are doing is strumming it yourself… I’m just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/26 "2007-02-28T14:58:02Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Guitar or bass, if all you are doing is strumming it yourself… I’m just sayin’. [/QUOTE] A clear limitation of the metaphor, no question - but the point holds. And I prefer to play my guitar in a combo, anyway - but don’t know if I am ready for the metaphor to stretch into group situations, either! 🙂 And \*\*Miller \*\* - your upright - doesn’t that get painful after a few hours, like they warn about on Viagra ads? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/27 "2007-02-28T15:13:21Z")
[QUOTE=WordMan] Does that mean you should change your username to “ **Crotalus Donk Donk** ”?? [/QUOTE] Hey, I’m not a snake, I only play one on a message board. Maybe you should send **Miller** a link to that youtube video of the Tielman Brothers, so he can see what that guitar player did with a stand-up bass. ---
**Author:** ![Operation\_Ripper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/34f0e0/32.png) [@Operation\_Ripper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Operation_Ripper)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/28 "2007-02-28T16:00:10Z")
[QUOTE=Jess] The main thing I remember about the book is that David seemed like a genuine, gold-plated, thoroughly conceited asshole. [/QUOTE] Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, eh? Heard his old man was a douche too, from David. Wait a minute… . ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/29 "2007-02-28T18:10:55Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Does that mean you should change your username to “Crotalus Donk Donk”?? [Kirk/]“No more donk donk!”[/Kirk] ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/30 "2007-02-28T18:49:12Z")
Only on Straight Dope would a post about a celebrity’s tell-all book derail into a discussion of snake morphology and celebrities with small penes. I always wanted to use that plural. Thanks for giving me the excuse. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/31 "2007-02-28T18:52:38Z")
[QUOTE=PoorYorick] I always wanted to use that plural. Thanks for giving me the excuse. [/QUOTE] If you like that, note that the snake’s equipment is referred to as the hemipenes. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/32 "2007-02-28T19:01:44Z")
If the snake was named Enrique, would they be demihemipenes? My 14,000th post, and it was a bad joke about reptile wangs. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![lowbrass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dc4da7/32.png) [@lowbrass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lowbrass)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/33 "2007-02-28T22:00:51Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Who was the last actor to _deny_ having a big schlong? Probably the same guy who admitted to stomping on beagle puppies. [/QUOTE] Howard Stern. I was gonna say he’s not an actor, but he did make a movie. ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/34 "2007-02-28T22:09:38Z")
Donk: “That water sure is cold.” Donk donk: “Deep, too.” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/35 "2007-02-28T22:10:18Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Guitar or bass, if all you are doing is strumming it yourself… [/QUOTE] Hey, it’s only the big stars that get the solos. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/36 "2007-02-28T22:56:45Z")
Then there’s that probably apocryphal story about the time the Cassidy Brothers were all at the Brown Derby and got into an argument over who was most bodonka Donk and it ended with Shirley Jones pulling out just enough to win. But I may have this confused with another " Shirley Jones winning a penis contest" story. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867/37 "2007-03-04T14:30:45Z")
OK, just one more comment on the Cassidy clan’s alleged tumescent splendor: I just saw a rerun of “Hawaii Five-O” in which Jack Cassidy plays a character named “Morwood.” I don’t know that “wood” back in the 1970s would have been recognized as meaning “erection,” but, in today’s vernacular, I could just imaging Cassidy saying, “Yeah, that’s right. I am Morwood, and I _have_ more wood.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-partridge-family-cassidy-new-tell-all-book/393867.md?page=1)