# David Pecker - former National Enquirer Publisher - the Pit thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [April 25, 2024, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-pecker-former-national-enquirer-publisher-the-pit-thread/1000750 "2024-04-25T17:42:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2024, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-pecker-former-national-enquirer-publisher-the-pit-thread/1000750/21 "2024-04-26T16:34:54Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Imagine growing up with a name like that. Must have been hard. I’m sure with a name like Pecker he never got a big head. But, if you think _he_ had it rough, just imagine the torment his brother Harry received! ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2024, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-pecker-former-national-enquirer-publisher-the-pit-thread/1000750/22 "2024-04-26T17:02:44Z")
At least Pecker is testifying, which is better than any of members of Trumps administration. So I guess it can be said that the Enquirer’s Pecker is more upright than Trump’s full staff. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2024, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-pecker-former-national-enquirer-publisher-the-pit-thread/1000750/23 "2024-04-26T17:07:27Z")
Well played. [segue] Anybody else been catching the just-a-tad-uncomfortable analysis of CNN’s [**Jeff Toobin**](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/15/style/jeffrey-toobin-zoom.html)? Every time _he_ says “Pecker,” tens of thousands of people wince just a little. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2024, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-pecker-former-national-enquirer-publisher-the-pit-thread/1000750/24 "2024-04-26T22:19:31Z")
I also have to add this – seen on the Interwebs: > Who are you going to believe: the bleached blonde with the saggy chest or Stormy Daniels? ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2024, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-pecker-former-national-enquirer-publisher-the-pit-thread/1000750/25 "2024-04-26T23:16:23Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Would you testify against Trump? > > Pecker would. > > mmm Brian Stelter describes bombshell testimony from the Trump trial: “CNN - April 23, 2024 - David Pecker, former publisher of the National Enquirer, while testifying today about the tabloid’s catch-and-kill tactics for stories unfavorable to Donald Trump, admitted on the stand that Trump had confided to him back in the 1990s that he was the father of Bat-Boy. Bat-Boy, who has been described as half human, half bat, and half squirrel, and an Endangered Species, was a staple of the tabloids during that time. Trump, according to Pecker, claimed he had passed out after eating a half dozen fermented banana cheesecakes during a golf outing in Costa Rica and that a succubus had copulated with him in his suite afterward. The succubus later demanded money to keep the story quiet. The notorious Bat-Boy was infamous in the tabloid media during the '90s for his daring escapes from Deep State government scientists and Bill Gates, who wanted to clone Bat-Boy to take advantage of his appetite for mosquitos to combat malaria in sub-Saharan Africa. When informed about their half-brother, Donald Trump, Jr. and Eric Trump stated that they would seek an injunction to prevent Bat-Boy from being included in their father’s will.” ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2024, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-pecker-former-national-enquirer-publisher-the-pit-thread/1000750/26 "2024-04-27T00:18:36Z")
> [@dasmoocher](#): > > Brian Stelter describes bombshell testimony from the Trump trial: I think you just need to post this one more time. _Then_ it’s a winner. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2024, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-pecker-former-national-enquirer-publisher-the-pit-thread/1000750/27 "2024-04-27T00:30:01Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > I’m sorry but I find many of these puns to be flaccid. Are you saying they come short? ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2024, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-pecker-former-national-enquirer-publisher-the-pit-thread/1000750/28 "2024-04-27T01:22:57Z")
I heard that when Pecker first start testifying in court he was slouching in his chair. But when he got a lunch break he took a Viagra. Once he was back on the stand, he sat completely upright. Oh, and he got a haircut after the first day of testimony. He wanted to look taller when the jury saw him the next time. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2024, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-pecker-former-national-enquirer-publisher-the-pit-thread/1000750/29 "2024-04-27T10:37:02Z")
I knew a guy at work who had the double whammy. His last name was bad enough, but his clueless parents saddled him with a first name that launched his full name into the bad joke stratosphere. I won’t give the name because I refuse to potentially dox somebody for have a dick name. Anyway, he refused out of pride to change his name (he was named after his dad), but his kids had no such reluctance. And I don’t blame them a bit. Life is tough enough without being named something like “Harry Ballz.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/david-pecker-former-national-enquirer-publisher-the-pit-thread/1000750.md?page=1)