David Pecker - former National Enquirer Publisher - the Pit thread

I’m sure with a name like Pecker he never got a big head.

But, if you think he had it rough, just imagine the torment his brother Harry received!

At least Pecker is testifying, which is better than any of members of Trumps administration. So I guess it can be said that the Enquirer’s Pecker is more upright than Trump’s full staff.

Well played.

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Anybody else been catching the just-a-tad-uncomfortable analysis of CNN’s Jeff Toobin?

Every time he says “Pecker,” tens of thousands of people wince just a little.

I also have to add this – seen on the Interwebs:

Who are you going to believe: the bleached blonde with the saggy chest or Stormy Daniels?

Brian Stelter describes bombshell testimony from the Trump trial:

“CNN - April 23, 2024 - David Pecker, former publisher of the National Enquirer, while testifying today about the tabloid’s catch-and-kill tactics for stories unfavorable to Donald Trump, admitted on the stand that Trump had confided to him back in the 1990s that he was the father of Bat-Boy. Bat-Boy, who has been described as half human, half bat, and half squirrel, and an Endangered Species, was a staple of the tabloids during that time.

Trump, according to Pecker, claimed he had passed out after eating a half dozen fermented banana cheesecakes during a golf outing in Costa Rica and that a succubus had copulated with him in his suite afterward. The succubus later demanded money to keep the story quiet.

The notorious Bat-Boy was infamous in the tabloid media during the '90s for his daring escapes from Deep State government scientists and Bill Gates, who wanted to clone Bat-Boy to take advantage of his appetite for mosquitos to combat malaria in sub-Saharan Africa.

When informed about their half-brother, Donald Trump, Jr. and Eric Trump stated that they would seek an injunction to prevent Bat-Boy from being included in their father’s will.”

I think you just need to post this one more time. Then it’s a winner.

Are you saying they come short?

I heard that when Pecker first start testifying in court he was slouching in his chair. But when he got a lunch break he took a Viagra. Once he was back on the stand, he sat completely upright.

Oh, and he got a haircut after the first day of testimony. He wanted to look taller when the jury saw him the next time.

I knew a guy at work who had the double whammy. His last name was bad enough, but his clueless parents saddled him with a first name that launched his full name into the bad joke stratosphere. I won’t give the name because I refuse to potentially dox somebody for have a dick name.

Anyway, he refused out of pride to change his name (he was named after his dad), but his kids had no such reluctance. And I don’t blame them a bit. Life is tough enough without being named something like “Harry Ballz.”