# Dayna Morales, the waitress who claims she didn't get tipped because of her homosexuality, exposed. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 26, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823 "2013-11-26T15:21:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/101 "2013-12-01T19:34:40Z")
I’m curious, the Red Lobster server who claims the customer called her an ‘N’ word on the check- did they find out for sure if this was a hoax or not? I know the guy was getting the handwriting examined. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/102 "2013-12-03T15:11:36Z")
She is now suspended from her job pending the investigation. Because the restaurant police are well known for their thorough investigations. More likely “She is fired but we are hoping for the story to disappear.” > **[Dayna Morales Suspended from Bridgewater Restaurant](https://nj1015.com/dayna-morales-suspended-from-bridgewater-restaurant/)** > > Server Dayna Morales has been suspended by the Bridgewater restaurant where her story of being left a disapproving message about being gay instead of a tip on a receipt has come under fire. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/103 "2013-12-03T22:52:09Z")
> [@bup](#): > > … > If it’s not hers, it’s entirely possible she got set up by someone else at the restaurant (who pocketed her tip). > … That’s the only possibility that makes sense, if she’s innocent. Someone might have printed the receipt twice, and somehow slipped that one to her. Obviously I’m not up on receipt-collecting protocols, but when I pay a restaurant bill I’ll do the tip / signature and often leave the table before the receipt is collected. If someone else grabbed the folder, reprinted the receipt, embellished it, and turned the correct one in for processing, the waitress could have truly been handed a receipt that looked like the one shown. Of course, the signed receipt would need to have been turned in regardless, and the waitress is probably really on the hook for doing so or the charge could get declined, and surely the bookkeeper would’ve noticed that s/he got customer receipts for the same meal, from the waitress and a mischievous homophobic co-worker… Then there’s this: I can usually tell whether a waitperson is male, female, black, Asian, etc. I can NOT usually tell if they’re gay, short of watching a waitress french-kiss another woman right there in the dining room - something that doesn’t happen at establishments I tend to frequent. So, how’s a homophobic customer supposed to tell if the waitstaff has Teh Gay. Imagine the dilemma - what if I slighted someone who was just punk and didn’t deserve the label? ---
**Author:** ![DragonAsh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DragonAsh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DragonAsh)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/104 "2013-12-03T23:47:45Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > So, how’s a homophobic customer supposed to tell if the waitstaff has Teh Gay. Imagine the dilemma - what if I slighted someone who was just punk and didn’t deserve the label? I doubt that’s high on the list of things they worry about: someone capable of writing something like that on a receipt is clearly very confident in their gaydar, and in any event clearly could give fuck-all what -others- think in the first place. There’s essentially no way the waitress can be innocent here. As I stated up-thread, there’s no way for some other wait staff to pocket the $18 tip, because it’s paid electronically: that means if someone did pocket $18, wrote the nasty-gram and gave that to the server saying, ‘damn girl, you got stiffed, and look what they wrote’, there would still be a disparity between be the money recorded as having been paid out to the waitress (real amount - $18) and the money received by the restaurant from the credit card company (real amount, including the $18). Pocketing the $18 tip on an invoice paid by credit card makes no sense; anyone trying to do this would do it with cash tips. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/105 "2013-12-04T07:45:03Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Oh, cut the shit. You obviously thought the OP was being unreasonable by suggesting this story should make us more skeptical of anything, as evidenced by your absurd suggestions. Now you want us to believe that you were being totally sincere in asking the question “What claims should we be more skeptical of”, and that the _most_ reasonable answers you could think of to that question were the ones that you offered? > > Do I have that right? I agree. Czarcasm=Busted. ---
**Author:** ![Donna\_Lange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Donna\_Lange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donna_Lange)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/106 "2013-12-04T11:10:11Z")
Is it possible she is just a major attention whore who didn’t think this thing would blow up like it did, and especially that her tipping customers would even notice it was their bill? It’s quite rare when a bullshitter is completely caught in a lie like this! ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/107 "2013-12-04T11:30:41Z")
I imagine this girl heard about all the donations that people sent for a similar incident that was in the news recently. She never thought the actual customer would come forward and bust her. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/108 "2013-12-04T20:28:47Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I imagine this girl heard about all the donations that people sent for a similar incident that was in the news recently. Bingo! It’s become so common that I’m immediately skeptical of these type stories, including this one when it first came out. And I think that people who donate money to these “victims” are suckers. I’ll admit that I’m occasionally chastened when a story turns out not to be a hoax, like the lady who discovered that the pizza dude wrote in “Lady Chinky Eyes” on the pick-up slip instead of her name, but not very often. In completely unrelated news, I’m still waiting for the autopsy on those 2 boys who were supposedly strangled to death by a python. Those Canucks really need a Nancy Grace to keep us abreast of all these shocking stories. P.S. Canuck isn’t a slur, is it? (Seriously.) ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/109 "2013-12-04T20:40:57Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > P.S. Canuck isn’t a slur, is it? (Seriously.) About on the order of “Yankee” or “Murphy,” I think. It’s cool for English-speaking countries to call each other those things, but outside of that, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![DragonAsh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DragonAsh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DragonAsh)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/110 "2013-12-05T11:19:43Z")
> [@bup](#): > > About on the order of “Yankee” or “Murphy,” I think. > > It’s cool for English-speaking countries to call each other those things, but outside of that, not so much. What do non-English-speaking countries do when they have to refer to the hockey team from Vancouver? ‘The Vancouver Canadians’? ---
**Author:** ![LaurenIpsum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@LaurenIpsum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LaurenIpsum)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/111 "2013-12-05T15:46:17Z")
> [@Dissonance](#): > > What I don’t get - and I mean I really don’t get - is why people feel compelled to send complete strangers money because they posted that something bad happened to them on Facebook I was thinking the same thing last year when the “bullied bus monitor” thing happened, and she ended up getting tens of thousands of dollars out of it. At the time, I made an admittedly whiny post on Facebook, saying that I had been bullied plenty while in junior high, so why doesn’t somebody pay me for it? A friend replied that she had donated to the bus monitor, not so much to make the bus monitor feel better, but to make _herself_ feel better. My friend said she had been a bullying victim herself, and by making her donation she felt she was joining in a statement against bullying. So maybe the people who donated to the waitress felt they were helping to take a stand against homophobia. Still, I think these things are ridiculous. _Everyone_ has bad things happen to them. Why are some of them deserving of money and some not? I used to be a cashier and was verbally insulted many times. Can I get some money for that? Or does it have to be in writing? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/112 "2013-12-05T16:11:45Z")
> [@DragonAsh](#): > > What do non-English-speaking countries do when they have to refer to the hockey team from Vancouver? ‘The Vancouver Canadians’? The Voncs Bombers. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/113 "2013-12-05T16:18:10Z")
> [@LaurenIpsum](#): > > I used to be a cashier and was verbally insulted many times. Can I get some money for that? Or does it have to be in writing? Sure. Get a blog or something and make an appropriately pathetic entry. If you do it well, you’ll get people asking to send you money, at which point you set up a paypal donation account and let people go nuts. I, too, am dying to know what’s the latest on the Case of the Python Strangler and I move we immediately ship Nancy Grace north so that she can whip their RO news media into the appropriate shape. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/114 "2013-12-05T16:58:58Z")
I’m completely shocked that the [Wounded Warrior Project](http://www.nj.com/somerset/index.ssf/2013/12/gay_waitress_donations_marines_service_questioned_as_investigation_continues.html#incart_river_default#incart_hbx#incart_best-of) has not received the donation that Morales said she gave. Shocked. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/115 "2013-12-05T21:39:49Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I, too, am dying to know what’s the latest on the Case of the Python Strangler and I move we immediately ship Nancy Grace north so that she can whip their RO news media into the appropriate shape. Seconded! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/116 "2013-12-05T22:36:00Z")
> [@DragonAsh](#): > > What do non-English-speaking countries do when they have to refer to the hockey team from Vancouver? ‘The Vancouver Canadians’? I imagine that’d piss off Montreal. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/117 "2013-12-06T06:58:26Z")
From what I read (in an article that said she was “dishonorably discharged”) is that she got an **other than honorable** discharge. Military people, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t dishonorable discharge equivalent to the civilian felony? You have to do something really bad, and it takes away your RKBA (but not voting?). Below honorable, there is **general discharge** (you were a sucky soldier/marine/sailor/airman), and below that other than honorable (less serious than a felony, although adultery seems to be punished more than it is in most states). Many of these involve loss of pension and a ban from reenlisting. e.g. [Waitress in Anti-Gay Note Dispute Was Dishonorably Discharged From Marines: Source – NBC New York](http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Dayna-Morales-Receipt-Gay-Server-Lifestyle-Note-Marine-233672131.html) I keep thinking that Nancy Grace died, and then remember is was Sylvia Browne. They go for similar results with different methods, eh. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823/118 "2013-12-06T13:01:28Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > From what I read (in an article that said she was “dishonorably discharged”) is that she got an **other than honorable** discharge. Military people, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t dishonorable discharge equivalent to the civilian felony? You have to do something really bad, and it takes away your RKBA (but not voting?). Below honorable, there is **general discharge** (you were a sucky soldier/marine/sailor/airman), and below that other than honorable (less serious than a felony, although adultery seems to be punished more than it is in most states). Many of these involve loss of pension and a ban from reenlisting. > > e.g. [Waitress in Anti-Gay Note Dispute Was Dishonorably Discharged From Marines: Source – NBC New York](http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Dayna-Morales-Receipt-Gay-Server-Lifestyle-Note-Marine-233672131.html) > I keep thinking that Nancy Grace died, and then remember is was Sylvia Browne. They go for similar results with different methods, eh. Yeah that was discussed on page 2. Initial reports from the local NBC station said dishonorable discharge. I’m guessing they got the information from one of those who served with her who used “dishonorable” as a catch phrase for getting kicked out. The Marines won’t say because they don’t comment on personnel actions. She probably got a General Discharge for failure to meet her military obligations. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dayna-morales-the-waitress-who-claims-she-didnt-get-tipped-because-of-her-homosexuality-exposed/674823.md?page=5)