# DDG ,what kind of friend are you?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 16, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793 "2001-11-16T19:33:27Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/1 "2001-11-16T19:33:27Z")
This thread has been inspired by **DDG** ’s comments in [Harry Potter-A Satanic Series](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=98587) thread. I was struck by **DDG** ’s negative reference to her fundie friends, and herself as an enlightened fundie in their midst. I am left with the impression of a traitor who denigrates her friends in secret by reporting on their shortcomings to an alien society, namely the SDMB.
> [@](#):
>
> Tom, for someone who’s not a Fundie, you’ve sure got a good take on the Fundie anti-HP mindset. You’re not using a crystal ball or something, are you?
By inference, we can assume that DDG is an intimate expert on the fundie mindset.
> [@](#):
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> Yeah, the general attitude towards all that “magic stuff” is, “Don’t even think about stuff like Ouija boards and tarot cards, let alone touch them or look at them, 'cause Satan can use that thought to lure you away down the Road to Hell. He’ll make you curious about it, and you’ll start doing research, and the next thing you know, you’ll be performing Black Masses…”
An assertion from intimate knowledge?
> [@](#):
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> When I was growing up, I had family around me who felt the same way about card games like bridge and poker being the Road to Hell. But when I was growing up, the same family around me who thought that Ouija boards and poker were the Path to Perdition also encouraged me to read anything I could get my hands on, and if that included stories about witches, wizards, and the supernatural, well, that was fine with them. To them, books were good–period. And if I wanted to read Ray Bradbury or Saki or 101 Ghost Stories for Young and Old and make myself too scared to sleep with the light off, then that was my business.
>
> So let’s not turn this into a Fundie-bashing thread, 'cause there are some of us out there who think that books are good, period.
Now we know why **DDG** became an enlightened fundie! So for a few good fundies like DDG we shouldn’t bash them. But as follows it is okay for a fundie to bash a fundie.
> [@](#):
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> And OTOH there was the nice Church Lady, my age, who, making polite conversation with me one day at a Bible study, asked me what kinds of books I liked to read. “Oh, science fiction, murder mysteries, like that,” I responded casually.
>
> She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then said very slowly, “You know, I’ve never understood why someone would want to read something that wasn’t true…”
>
> Which pretty much ended that conversation.
And it is okay for a fundie to bash her fundie friends
> [@](#):
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> Er, Freyr, many of my Fundie friends have participated for many years in an all-out Disney boycott (because of Disney’s same-sex health insurance policy), so the point about “why don’t Fundies object to Disney cartoons?” doesn’t really hold.
>
> And anyway, a lot of them do object to Disney cartoons, because of the “magic” in them, because of the “fantasy” aspect. The Little Mermaid, the Beast, Pinocchio and the Blue Fairy, all of them…Also–how can I put this?–Harry Potter is a book (at least, it was a book first), and to people with this mindset, books are threatening in a very subtle way, in a way that cartoons aren’t threatening. It’s hard to explain. These people don’t really like to read, for one thing. They’re aren’t very good at “reading”. I don’t mean in a “literacy” sense, I mean in the sense of being happiest when settled in for the afternoon with a good book. They tend to view “bookish” types (like me) with suspicion.
>
> When they do read, the only things they’re really comfortable reading are non-fiction. Easy non-fiction. They find it difficult to wrap their imaginations around fiction to begin with, and fiction dealing with subject matter that’s forbidden by the Bible is just terribly frightening to them, in a way that even a full-length cartoon about magic isn’t. Cartoons are for kids, and aren’t that scary. But “books” are intimidating, and a book about magic is doubly so.
>
> Does this make sense?
Gee\*\* DDG\*\*, aren’t you too intellectually superior for your real life friends who prefer cartoons to reading books? Why do you continue to fraternize with people that you have such scorn for? I have noticed that you have used vulgar language in the past. Do your fundie friends know who you virtually are?
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### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/2 "2001-11-16T19:42:08Z")
Wait, can you explain something to me, because I’m genuinely confused.
Because DDG grew up around Fundies and knows Fundies and tells us how they feel from an insider perspective, she’s a traitor?
Her faith in Christianity has developed differently from her family and friends, but she’s able to recognize the difference.
I grew up in a church that taught me homosexuality was wrong. I know they did…I GREW UP THERE, so I can tell you all about it. I think that’s a crazy stance, and while I’m still a Christian, I don’t believe it.
Does that make me a traitor?
(I don’t want to bash anyone, I just want the OP clarified)
jar
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### Author:  [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/3 "2001-11-16T19:57:15Z")
After the Mad Hatter fanatical (er, sabbatical, er, forget it 😉 [sub]just came from the grammar thread in MPSIMS[/sub]) I have a (as of this moment not-so-) secret SDMB crush on **DDG**. I think she owns Google.
Oh, wait, we’re talking about Fundies? And fundies that are her friends!??!? Wow, **grienspace** , you have perfect friends? I criticize mine all the time, along with people I grew up with. And I know I’m not perfect, and I do it anyway! I also try to subtly slip sarcasm in phrases in such a manner that if you agree with me you hear it but if you disagree with me you don’t. Very tricky, that.
Oh, wait, we’re talking about **DDG** , not me. Must keep focused! Yeah, uh, fuck her! She’s an R-A-T-T-F-I-N-K, and I bet she doesn’t even know that that comes from a Misfits tune. Maybe if she wasn’t so quick to turn on her friends she’d know that.
Yeah!
I would like to note that 50% of the quotes you posted here show that **DDG** prefaced her _anecdotal evidence_ with phrases like, “People I know” and “those I grew up with.” Context can be confusing, I agree.
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### Author:  [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/4 "2001-11-16T20:03:47Z")
I think you’ve a great big chip on your shoulder there, **grienspace**.
> [@](#):
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> But as follows it is okay for a fundie to bash a fundie.
Your example contained no “bashing.”
> [@](#):
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> And it is okay for a fundie to bash her fundie friends
And that one didn’t either.
You’re accusing someone falsely of attacking others and being a “traitor.” Poor form.
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### Author:  [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/5 "2001-11-16T20:51:05Z")
I don’t normally rate rants, I’ll just agree or disagree when I’m moved to comment and state my reasons. This rant, however, I’m giving a 2.1; most of that for satisfactory use of the English language and no coding errors.
Your own examples show someone thoughtfully and civilly questioning a handful of fundamentalist attitudes. If you couldn’t find something more damning, I’d suggest just biting your tongue real hard and closing the window prior to hitting the submit button.
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### Author:  [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/6 "2001-11-16T20:54:53Z")
I obviously lost the memo that told us that told us we can only be friends with folks who agree with 100% of our positions/beliefs.
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### Author:  [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/7 "2001-11-16T20:58:56Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I am left with the impression of a traitor who denigrates her friends in secret by reporting on their shortcomings to an alien society, namely the SDMB.
Huh. I didn’t see the denigrating or the bashing. Nor do I consider the SDMB to be an “alien society;” there are many Christians here, some more fundamentalist than others.
But allow me to congratulate you on your perfect, faultless friends, or, in the alternative, to offer you my condolences that you are not allowed to criticize them in any manner, no matter how mild or how deserved, without being deemed a traitor to them.
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### Author:  [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/8 "2001-11-16T21:07:26Z")
Well I suppose if your friends described you as only comfortable at reading “easy” non fiction and not very good at reading you wouldn’t feel slighted.
Of course myself or my friends aren’t perfect, But you won’t find me criticising them to outsiders. If there is one thing that pisses me of it is talking negatively about intimates behind their backs.
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/9 "2001-11-16T21:18:12Z")
You mean Duck Duck Goose _isn’t_ god?
Now I really am confused.
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### Author:  [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/10 "2001-11-16T21:22:24Z")
the quote you used referred to ‘a nice woman I know’, who had different reading interests.
But frankly, even so, well hell, I have friends who have way different tastes in all sorts of things. Doesn’t mean shit.
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### Author:  [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/11 "2001-11-16T22:17:48Z")
Ummm…
“–huh??” 😕
Ummm…
“why do you care??” 😕
Ah, but these are mere nitpicks. Any flimsy excuse to start a Pit thread, eh, Grienspace? To see your name in lights up there at the top of the forum? Well, hey, then, go for it! 😃 Happy to be of service! If my small efforts here at the SDMB have managed to make you feel useful, wanted, _needed_ in any way, Grienspace, why, then, I’m just absolutely 100% delighted. Truly. 😃
Hey, everybody, gather round! Let’s all help Grienspace find out more marginally flameable stuff about me so’s he can start some more Pit threads. Fire up those Straight Dope search engines, folks, one at a time, now, we don’t want to crash the server…
[DDG exits thread humming a tune, pleased that she’s managed to make at least one little Doper happy today]
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### Author:  [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/12 "2001-11-16T22:27:04Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Well I suppose if your friends described you as only comfortable at reading “easy” non fiction and not very good at reading you wouldn’t feel slighted.
Hey, grienspace, if I were your friend, and I described you as only comfortable at playing foosball in a noncompetitive, low-key setting, and not particularly good at it, would that offend you?
Any fundy friends of her’s wouldn’t care, because it’s true, they know it’s true, and they’re PROUD of it. Get it? There are people who are PROUD of the fact that they don’t like to read. They are the people she is talking about, and they wouldn’t be offended by what she said.
–John
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### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/13 "2001-11-16T22:37:34Z")
This is one of the weirdest rants I’ve seen in a while. I mean you are _actually serious_ about dissing DDG because she makes observations about her friends in the quasi-anonymous format of a message board and how she finds some aspects of their shared beliefs out of sync with her own.
IMO one of the more useful and engaging aspects of interacting via a message board is that you can discuss and analyze issues like these with some degree of arms length detachment without being accused of peeing in your own pool.
A lot of thread space in SDMB is dedicated to the silly, annoying or incomprehensible things people close to us and not so close to us believe and do. Sometimes we learn to be more tolerant or correct our own mis-perceptions. Sometimes we learn to stand up for ourselves and not tolerate egregious behavior. Sometimes discussing these things and getting different points of view gives us a better handle on life in general. Is everyone commenting on their friends and associates perceived foibles being disloyal or simply airing out a perspective for public comment?
If you’re upset with her tone that’s your perfect right but to accuse her of being a false friend because her opinions differ from her friends and she voices this in a not so respectful way on a message board is absurd. Her choices are apparently either to have a lobotomy or keep her mouth shut neither of I would imagine she is inclined to do to ameliorate your annoyance.
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/14 "2001-11-16T23:37:21Z")
You know, I almost didn’t open this cause I figured it was another psych you out by starting a pit rant about how good you are feel-good thingy. In fact, this is what I expected to read:
> [@](#):
>
> DDG, what sort of friend are you, anyway? Who do the hell do you think you are, going out of your way to answer almost any question? You play Google like a fine instrument, you churn out what amounts to an annotated bibliography of relevant sources–where you do an amazingly solid job of summarizing the main arguements and then noting which sites are slanted, and in what direction/to what degree - and you end with a mention of what key words produced the cites, so that we can reproduce your search, if we have questions, and so that we can learn to search like a 12-level black belt. **Do you have any idea how hard it is to return your kindness?** It’s so fucking rude. I can’t have your baby, I don’t know the address to send flowers to, you certainly don’t need any informatin my brain might contain–you’re all give, give, give and no take, and I’m sorry, that’s not true friendship!
> P.S. Need a kidney?
Ok, I feel better now. This thread is now living up to my expectations.
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### Author:  [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/15 "2001-11-16T23:43:43Z")
Um…
A Pit thread about **Duck Duck Goose**?
😕
A _Pit thread_?
I don’t get it. Where’s the punchline?
**grienspace** , the men in the white coats will be along presently. Try to stay away from sharp objects and electricity.
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### Author:  [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/16 "2001-11-17T15:34:50Z")
Whatever.
**DDG** , we all know you rock. **grienspace** , get a grip.
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### Author:  [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2001, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/17 "2001-11-17T19:09:52Z")
This is very bizarre.
It has, however, reminded me of a theory of mine: I think that much of the hostility that gets displayed in message boards (and in the world in general, really) would be greatly lessened by people just taking a nap before expressing themselves.
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### Author:  [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2001, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/18 "2001-11-17T19:42:18Z")
> [@](#):
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> African-Americans don’t really like to read, for one thing. They’re aren’t very good at “reading”.
> [@](#):
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> When African Americans do read, the only things they’re really comfortable reading are non-fiction. Easy non-fiction.
> [@](#):
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> African-Americans find it difficult to wrap their imaginations around fiction to begin with,
Anyone who espouses the above bullshit should be condemned. Stereotyping any group especially by someone who claims intimate knowledge of a group should not be tolerated. Her characterization of her fundie “friends” in this manner is no less reprehensible in my opinion.
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2001, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/19 "2001-11-17T19:49:18Z")
**grienspace** , fundamentalism is a choice. Ethnicity is not. Your comparison is not valid.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2001, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ddg-what-kind-of-friend-are-you/93793/20 "2001-11-18T01:03:51Z")
Correct me if I’m wrong here, but aren’t all of the quotes from **DDG** refering, not to all fundamentalists, but that particular subset of fundamentalism that routinely attempts to have books, movies, and music they deem to be “occult” banned. In that first post, she points out that she was raised by fundamentalists who _didn’t_ care if she read horror or science fiction. In other words, **grienspace** , what the fuck is your damage?
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