# Deacons T's Initiation Rites from SqrlCub \*sigh\*
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 20, 2000, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476 "2000-12-20T05:06:33Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Deacons\_Trucked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deacons_Trucked)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/1 "2000-12-20T05:06:33Z")
Well, as embarrased as I am to start a new thread with this subject…it was requested by The Great Master **SqrlCub** , so here I am… **groan** NO, I’m excited. No, really, I am. :rolleyes:
OK here’s the deal. I have been realizing I jumped the gun on this adoption thing. I requested an adoption before had even been a newbie for a month…not giving me much time at all to lurk and get the feel of the boards, even though I _have_ lurked a bit and seem to have gotten the feel. As soon as I realized I should hold off on this adoption thing, **SqrlCub** came along and adopted me. Problem now is, I have already taken care of all of his tasks, aside from posting a 20-reply thread in each forum (which I think is a bit excessive, but what do I know). I have done a bit of work on this so far, and it seems a shame to give it up. Maybe I should just shut up and get on with it.
NOTICE: **Explicit help on any of the informational requirements is not allowed!!!** blah, blah… 😃
\<\<\<_required by The Great Lord On High, **SqrlCub** _\>\>\>
The Supreme and Omnipotent God Of All, **SqrlCub** , requires the lowly and humble sub-newbie **Deacons Trucked** to perform the the following so that **Deacons Trucked** may acheive…uh, something:
> [@](#):
>
> You will be a newbie until you have been here for 3 months. _(says WHO?? -DT)_
> **1)** In that time you will have to start a thread in every forum. The threads you start should also have more than 20 responses and only one response from you counts.
Yup, this is the toughie…hmmmm. Maybe I can score a deal…
> [@](#):
>
> **2)** You also have to start a thread here cutting and pasting this post into it and title it Deacons Trucked’s initiation rites by Sqrl. In that thread you have to keep us updated on where you are in the current initiation process. Also, in this thread you should state that explicit help on any of the informational requirements are not allowed. If you exclude this then I will have to put you up in the SDMB orphanage.
Yeah, yeah…obviously I have done that…_duh_
> [@](#):
>
> **3)** Hi Opal. \<— Find out and post what that means and then practice it.
[ul]
[li]\*“Quote from Coldfire ‘Opal (among other things) doesn’t like lists that are shorter than three points. She used to point that out to people, or at least did at one stage. So, the running gag then became to include a “Hi Opal!” as a third point.’” \*[/li][li]This is my silly friggin’ list. See DT. See DT run. Run DT, run! Good DT.[/li][li] **snicker** [/li][li]Hi Opal.[/li][li] **fart** [/li][/ul]
> [@](#):
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> **4)** Next, you will have to denounce your god and worship me for all eternity. Wait everyone already does that because I am fabulous. Just kidding, you don’t really have to do that one.
Well, GOOD…because I ain’t got no god to denounce anyways! Besides, I never worship anyone on the first date.
> [@](#):
>
> **5)** a)You have to find out what the LBMB is and give at least one name of someone who was there and is now here. b)Then you should tell us about the LBMB incident and what came from it. c)Oh while we are at you can get extra points by telling us where the semi-normal LBMB people went after they left LBMB.
a)quote by **Lsura** : “_LBMB is the Left Behind Message Boards. Set up after the widely popular Left Behind Series of books- a Christian series about the end times.
I used to post over there, with a different user name. I haven’t even visited over there in a good 2 months. I became highly frustrated by the petty arguments that arose constantly. A link-best I can do for ya is [http://www.leftbehind.com](http://www.leftbehind.com) I used to have it bookmarked, but I deleted that when I decided not to go back._”
Still workin’ on the rest…
> [@](#):
>
> **6)** You have to find out my email address. I post it around sometimes but it is not public. And send me some naked pictures of Ed Asner and Santa Claus. I will verify that you did this on your MPSIMS thread about your initiation that you are to start.
Got the address, got all the pix. And I mean ALL. (PLEASE don’t ask, **Tygr** ) Maybe, when my Great Lord and Master sees the number of Santa pix I have to offer, he will ease up on #1…at least to save me from posting in the forums _About This MB_, _Comments On Cecil’s Columns_, and _Staff Reports (Mailbag)_. Maybe? _sigh…_
> [@](#):
>
> **7)** Then last you have to give us some good, juicy gossip on yourself.
Well, there’s some good juicy gossip in my GQ post “Impotence/Testicle Question”…cant get much, uh…_juicier_ than THAT. Plus, there’s info on me under “Crunchy Frog’s Welcome Wagon.” More?? Sheesh…
Well my first boyfriend (I was with him 4 years) wasn’t attracted to people…he was attracted to shoes. Seriously. He fantasized about shoes…the characters in his fantasies were actually shoes with human characteristics. Don’t ask me how he was my sex partner for 4 years. Oh, wait…he was the best friend I ever had. And he loved me because I was the first person to ever show _him_ love. Yeah, that’s how. What else? Oh yeah, I have no sense of smell. My first physical (not exactly sexual) encounter was with two other guys. Not juicy enough? Well I dont wanna get _too_ personal as brother **Tygr** might be watching! 😉 Maybe I will think of something more exciting soon…
[/QUOTE]
SHEESH… **sigh of relief**
Well _that_ was a hell of a thing. Cant believe I made it thru all that. Dont know about you, but I impress me. Aw, c’mon! I think I done did purty good! I mean, for a sub-newbie who doesnt deserve to be posting anything on these boards…I did okay, right? I know how to hold my own with this posting thing, right? _(read: DT searching for a few pats on the back and words of encouragement which might keep him from grabbing a steak knife and running away while laughing hysterically and slashing up everyone in his path, including the green plaid bird-puppies with the faces of Herve Villechaize which have haunted him for the last two hours)_
I hope I have at least partially appeased the Almighty **SqrlCub** … **DT kneels at the altar, panting and sweating, ready for a good night’s rest**
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### Author:  [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/2 "2000-12-20T05:11:21Z")
DT:
Considering that I have slid to almost 700 posts and STILL can’t bold, or use italics or even (sorry) link anything to anything else, I’d say DAMN good job!
Maybe I should have asked the All powerful, fabulous Sqrl to adopt me!
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### Author:  [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/3 "2000-12-20T05:12:33Z")
UHHHH,
I guess I can’t even keep track of my post count…
Doh!!
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### Author:  [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/4 "2000-12-20T05:15:18Z")
Well, I’ll help ya on #1 by replying. 🙂
And I can give ya the answers you need for #5, if you’d like… 😉
Welcome to the boards!
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### Author:  [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/5 "2000-12-20T05:17:01Z")
You look to be doing pretty good, **DT**. Do me a favor and let me know if you see my newbie, **corvus** running around, will you? I appear to have lost him. That won’t look good on my adoption evaluation, will it?
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### Author:  [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/6 "2000-12-20T05:19:51Z")
btw, **DT** , is your name from somewhere, or is it original?
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### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/7 "2000-12-20T05:34:59Z")
Yo Deacons! Happy to respond. Buck up, and bite back.
Remember. Fun. Not work.
🙂
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### Author:  [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/8 "2000-12-20T05:39:48Z")
Happy to help out the less fortunate this holiday season. 😃
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/9 "2000-12-20T05:42:36Z")
If it makes you feel any better, DT, your brother passed his peformance test.
I was really going to adopt you after I got done with Tygr, if no one else had. I think, though, that Sqrl was probably a better choice. I mean, all’s I did was make Tygr answer a few questions about _me, personally._ Sqrl, on the other hand, is getting you in to serious Board Protocol. This is a good thing–although I’m sure Tygr learned more than just personal stuff about me on his quest (he dug up quotes & stuff-that means he actually read the threads).
I’m sure you’ll do fine, DT. The sense of humor you’ve displayed in the OP will fit right in with the weirdness that goes on here.
Now have fun. 😃
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### Author:  [@Deacons\_Trucked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deacons_Trucked)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/10 "2000-12-20T05:44:55Z")
**Kat** , the name is my original creation…yippee. Its a play on words…say it aloud quickly without reading it. What does it sound like? I have met ONE person who gets it on the first try. No big whoop. Thanks for the comments, y’all…I would love more!! 😉
Thanks, **Ogre** …this was actually quite fun for me. The challenge of getting all the codes to work right, I mean. It started out NOT fun because of the circumstance of my getting adopted in the first place.
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### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/11 "2000-12-20T06:10:26Z")
Nothing to it. Shoot me an email when you post each of your other threads, and I’ll be sure they get at least one response. 🙂
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### Author:  [@absoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/absoul)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/12 "2000-12-20T07:30:53Z")
Truly classic, ahhh a little SqrlCub-Cub.
-at least SqrlCub left out that goats head part… sheesh…
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### Author:  [@Plavacek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plavacek)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/13 "2000-12-20T08:44:57Z")
Strange…none of the other super-newbies felt the need to help out.
Fine.
It falls to my shoulders.
May they be broad enough to help Deacons Trucked in foul initiation rites.
Best of luck.
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### Author:  [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/14 "2000-12-20T09:39:58Z")
I feel too new and unfamiliar to the potential adopters to ask to be adopted myself, but I certainly will help with your initiation!
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/15 "2000-12-20T09:45:18Z")
Fabulous OP, **Deacons Trucked**! 😃
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### Author:  [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/16 "2000-12-20T10:42:58Z")
**ooooooh** look! I got quoted. 🙂 That doesn’t happen too often. 😛
Thanks Deacon. I’ll keep an eye out for your other threads and help out, just because you quoted me. 😉
Are you a guy? You wann be [my new crush](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=51300&pagenumber=2)?
Just kidding. I could probably answer the rest of #5 too, but at that point I was willing to fight for the LBMB. Now, of course, it’s about fighting ignorance. 🙂
(hey, is it true that when I hit 300 posts, I’m not a newbie anymore? 😛 )
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/17 "2000-12-20T11:31:23Z")
**DT** - love the nick - clever!
You grovel well too - I like that! 😃 Welcome to the insanity!
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### Author:  [@Deacons\_Trucked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deacons_Trucked)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/18 "2000-12-20T15:06:54Z")
Well I was expecting the Great Malevolent Spirit **SqrlCub** to be responding, but oh well…
> [@](#):
>
> **Absoul** :\* Truly classic, ahhh a little SqrlCub-Cub. \*
Uhhh…huh? Did I miss something? Is this supposed to say something that makes sense to me? Explain…?
Sure, **Lsura** , I’ll be your crush. But I warn you, considering I’m into guys, you are destined to get your heart smashed if you pine for _me_. And since when does the crush-ee chose who is going to have a crush on him? Doesnt it work the other way around? 🙂
Thanks for the kind words, you guys. Tell your friends, come one, come all!
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### Author:  [@Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommy_the_Cat)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/19 "2000-12-20T15:31:34Z")
Damn, DT! I’m impressed. Grateful too. I’m up to a little over 140 posts and been here for a few months or so, this is the first time that I figured out what that “Hi Opal” thing was about. I’d seen it, just thought that the poster was saying that because OpalCat would be interested in the list. Now that I know, I feel a bit like a fool. I tip my hat to you, sir.
I also must commend you on your cutting and pasting of quotes and other tricks of the like. Sure I can **bold** stuff, but that is about the extent of my learnin’ so far. To be so new and know as much as you do, you should be quite proud. And thankful to SqrlCub as well.
Keep it real. (Whatever that means)
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### Author:  [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deacons-ts-initiation-rites-from-sqrlcub-sigh/46476/20 "2000-12-20T15:37:27Z")
\ That’s my kid brother, goddammit! \
Bro’, what the HELL’s wrong wit’ youse?! Starting a thread after midnight… \THAT’S NOT RIGHT!\
Get off the dam’ computer and let Mom get some sleep, fachrissakes!
> [@](#):
>
> _keep him from grabbing a steak knife and running away while laughing hysterically and slashing up everyone in his path, including the green plaid bird-puppies with the faces of Herve Villechaize which have haunted him for the last two hours_
Dude, don’t hog the good stuff, pass that over…
See, that’s what happens when you start a thread after midnight. Folks, he’ll be allright, just don’t pour water on him or he’ll multiply, then Mom’ll REALLY be pissed.
:: Sees _really_ personal stuff in DT’s OP. Closes eyes tight, sticks fingers in ears, runs in a circle loudly singing “LaLaLaLa-I-CAN’T-HEEEAR-YOUUUUU!” ::
Why, no, I DON’T have any IRL work to do. \ Mahnd yer ewn biz-nez!\
[sub]Okay, bro’, I’ve done you a favor and posted in yer thread. Now go post in my New House thread, it neads some serious bumping.[/sub]
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