# dead baby jokes! (offensive to some.) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 23, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215 "2003-08-23T20:38:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/1 "2003-08-23T20:38:31Z")
Q: Whats worse than a baby in a trashcan? A: A baby in ten trashcans. Q: How do you get a baby out of a blender? A: With a tortilla chip. Q: Whats white, red, silver, and walks into walls? A: A baby with forks in his eyes. Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: Depends on how hard you throw them. Q: What’s snow white and moves up and down in a baby’s crib? A: A pedophile’s ass. Q: Why’d the koala fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why’d the baby fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the koala. heh. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/2 "2003-08-23T20:41:17Z")
You feeling suicidal or something today **chaotic**? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/3 "2003-08-23T20:41:27Z")
more! Q: What’s pink and crawls in circles? A: A baby with its foot nailed to the floor. Q: What sits in the corner of the kitchen and gets smaller and smaller? A: A baby combing its hair with a potato peeler Q: What goes from pink to black as it spins in a circle? A: A baby in a microwave. ---
**Author:** ![Larz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Larz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larz)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/4 "2003-08-23T20:46:12Z")
What’s easier to load a truck with, bowling balls or dead babies? Dead babies cause you can use a pitchfork. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/5 "2003-08-23T20:47:53Z")
Ooo, I’ve always wanted to post in a (soon to be) locked thread. Sorry, no baby jokes. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/6 "2003-08-23T20:50:55Z")
no baby jokes? there’s even a spoiler in the title. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![caffeine\_overdose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85e7bf/32.png) [@caffeine\_overdose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caffeine_overdose)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/7 "2003-08-23T20:59:56Z")
Q. What’s worse then 10 dead babies stapled to one tree? A. One live baby stapled to ten trees. Q. What’s the difference between a Mercedez and a pile of dead baies? A. I don’t have a Mercedez in my garage? ---
**Author:** ![Engineer\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9fc29f/32.png) [@Engineer\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engineer_Dude)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/8 "2003-08-23T21:54:02Z")
What’s red and sits in the corner and cries all day? A baby chewing on a razor blade. How do you make a baby float? A glass of Root Beer and two scoops of dead baby. How do you make a baby shake? Three scoops of ice cream and two scoops of dead baby. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/9 "2003-08-23T22:00:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chaoticdonkey \* > \*\* > Q: Whats white, red, silver, and walks into walls? > A: A baby with forks in his eyes. > \*\* I actually laughed at this. I am a sick person. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/10 "2003-08-23T22:17:26Z")
aha! I knew there were some other lurking dead baby joke fans. One final one: Q:What’s the difference between a baby and a trampoline? A: You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline. ---
**Author:** ![JaxBeachBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19adc/32.png) [@JaxBeachBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaxBeachBoy)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/11 "2003-08-23T22:31:32Z")
What’s the worst thing about molesting babies? getting the blood out of your clown suit ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/12 "2003-08-24T00:22:14Z")
You people really want to have evil wished upon you, eh? :rolleyes: F\_X ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/13 "2003-08-24T00:29:23Z")
Why did the baby cross the road? It didn’t. It got run over. ---
**Author:** ![Shaolinrabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Shaolinrabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shaolinrabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/14 "2003-08-24T00:34:03Z")
Sorry, you guys have already used up all the dead baby jokes I ever heard in H.S. Just wanted to get my post in for posterity. I’m not sure when the trail may derail, but I’m just as sick for watching… ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/15 "2003-08-24T02:13:16Z")
My, this takes me back to my misspent youth. These things really come in cycles, don’t they? Nothing new to add – I was hoping to get in with the unload-with-a-pitchfork joke, but see it’s already here. Nothing like a complete lexicon of dead baby jokes to bring back the chemically hazed happy days of yore! ---
**Author:** ![Skwerl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Skwerl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skwerl)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/16 "2003-08-24T02:51:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hebesphenomegacorona \* > \*\*Why did the baby cross the road? > It didn’t. It got run over. \*\* What’s the worst part about running over a baby? Cleaning it out of your tires. ---
**Author:** ![cletus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@cletus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cletus)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/17 "2003-08-24T05:38:34Z")
HAHAHAHA More! More! Keep 'em coming! HAHAHAHA At least now I know which posters have a weird sense of humor. 🙂 It’s not exactly the same but there is a list of sex-related ‘jokes’ over on [rotten.com](http://rotten.com). Sorry, I don’t have a link but it was called the rolodex of love. I think the posters who laughed at the baby jokes will like it. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/18 "2003-08-24T06:55:06Z")
Alright, I just made this one up: Q. Where do you get red white and blue hangers for your baby clothes? A. An abortion clinic in linkin park. I’m sick. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Babbington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mr.Babbington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Babbington)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/19 "2003-08-24T06:58:16Z")
Q: What’s red and squirms in a corner? A: A baby with a razor blade. Q: What’s red and hangs from the ceiling? A: A baby on a meat hook. (not a baby joke, but funny nonetheless.) Q: What’s black, white, red, and can’t get through a revolving door? A: A nun with a spear through her head. ---
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215/20 "2003-08-24T07:12:50Z")
What do you get when you put a baby in a microwave? An erection. I’m so sick, I printed this thread for future reference. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-baby-jokes-offensive-to-some/197215.md?page=2)