# Dead Chipmunk 2000 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521 "2000-06-26T02:22:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/1 "2000-06-26T02:22:18Z")
Hypothetically speaking, if a dead chipmunk on a stick made it through the primaries, and ran for president. Would you vote for it? Why? Why not? Discuss. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/2 "2000-06-26T02:26:56Z")
Well, a dead chipmunk on a stick would be helluva lot more lively than Bob Dole and Al Gore, and is probably more honest than Bill Clinton or George Bush… ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/3 "2000-06-26T02:30:35Z")
Do you think it’s inability to make speeches would be a handicap, or a benefit to his campaign? ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/4 "2000-06-26T02:32:29Z")
As a political contributor to the Road Kill Party, I would say, “It depends.” Just how badly does the chipmunk stink? We can’t have a smelly president. Secondly, how secure is the dead chipmunk with his stick? Will he be vchanging sticks midway through the campaign? Is the stick adequate for supporting a dead chipmunk? ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/5 "2000-06-26T02:43:18Z")
How was this chipmunk killed? Style counts for a lot in presidential campaigns. Aglarond ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/6 "2000-06-26T02:43:42Z")
Well, it’s starting to get a bit musky. But he does stink to bad yet, but that could be an issue towards the end of the campaign. He would have to get the people to love him before that. And I’m not entirely sure about the stick, but I do know it’s made of wood. ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/7 "2000-06-26T02:46:36Z")
But who’d be the VP candidate? These things are important, especially if the president is dead before it’s even elected. Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/8 "2000-06-26T02:51:50Z")
The stick is his running mate. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/9 "2000-06-26T02:55:51Z")
Is this chipmonk on a stick democrat or republican? ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/10 "2000-06-26T02:56:11Z")
Actually, Catrandom, I can’t swear to this, but I think the constitution only covers if the president dies in office. I’m not sure that any contention was made for the president already being dead. Theoritically, they could just shove the stick into a pen holder on the desk in the oval office, and assuming he doesn’t get reelected, remove him in 4 years. Sounds like a plan to me Aglarond ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/11 "2000-06-26T02:56:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > The stick is his running mate. > \*\* So then we ARE talking about Al Gore… ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/12 "2000-06-26T03:09:47Z")
Yes, Al Gore will be wearing the chipmunk as a toupee. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/13 "2000-06-26T03:20:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Yes, Al Gore will be wearing the chipmunk as a toupee. > \*\* Ah, yet another Clinton administration cover-up… ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/14 "2000-06-26T06:34:35Z")
Yeah, right, like the Clinton administration has that many contacts. Uh-uh, this goes much deeper… We’re talkin’ Post Office level here, baby! ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/15 "2000-06-26T06:53:23Z")
You say a dead chipmunk on a stick. But just how is that chipmunk _attached_ to the stick?? Isn’t that the real question here? ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/16 "2000-06-26T06:57:00Z")
C’mon now Silver, that’s just sick. You should be ashamed. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/17 "2000-06-26T08:14:25Z")
Has the chipmunk had sex with anyone? Has it picked Dan Quayle as Vice President? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/18 "2000-06-26T11:27:38Z")
Does the chipmunk like cigars? Has the chipmunk ever inhaled? Does the chipmunk have a wife that has political aspirations of her own? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/19 "2000-06-26T11:31:08Z")
Has the chipmunk ever used helium for recreational purposes? ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/20 "2000-06-26T14:58:27Z")
Is it a celebrity chipmunk? Alivin, Simon or Theodore? They might do better in the polls than your average lay-chipmunk. Plus, I think a LOT of people would be happy to see any one of those three dead. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521.md?page=2)