# Dead Chipmunk 2000 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521 "2000-06-26T02:22:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/61 "2000-06-28T03:03:27Z")
The whole world wants to know, Dead Chipmunk on a Stick… boxers or briefs? ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/62 "2000-06-28T03:08:18Z")
Dead Chipmunk’s orientation is always on a stick. ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/63 "2000-06-28T03:12:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > The whole world wants to know, Dead Chipmunk on a Stick… > > boxers or briefs? > \*\* Yes Persephone, only you would ask such a question 😉 But I digress, Dead Chipmunk on a Stick— dipped in Dove chocolate with a coating of crushed almonds, Possible Presidential Material or refreshing summertime confection? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/64 "2000-06-28T03:14:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Dead Chipmunk’s orientation is always on a stick. > \*\* So what you are saying is that DC got some wood. :::dialing cell phone and contacting NY Times Editor::: He’s Gay! DC is Gay! ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/65 "2000-06-28T03:16:35Z")
Hoo boy, I need DJ’s help in here… ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/66 "2000-06-28T03:17:33Z")
George W has already been endorsed by an Alien from outerspace ( the same one that endorsed Bill " I thought she was a humidor" Clinton.) according to the Weekly World News. What is DC doing to get the alien vote? ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/67 "2000-06-28T03:21:52Z")
I’m an alien, and he has my vote. 'Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/68 "2000-06-28T15:35:37Z")
People, people, please! We’re running a major presidential campaign and two simultaneous threads - have some patience! **Q.** Does this mean that DC has part ownership in native american casino operations?\*\* **A.** While the definition indicates Dead Chipmonk belongs to the most popular US species, it does not indicate that Tamias striatus is a native species. That aside, we are willing to talk about casino ownership opportunities with our Native American friends. Dead Chipmonk maintains an extensive collection of pretty beads. **Q.** Would the motif include alot of Barbara Streisand Music, the entire video collection of Stars On Ice with women who resemble Linda Tripp ( who resembles John Goodman in drag) hanging around as “cover” ? **A.** Think Hugh Heffner without the moral qualms. **Q.** To conclude, what is DC’s sexual orientation? **A.** Mostly, he’s on top. The stick makes other orientations impractical and in some cases, lethal. **Q.** Excuse me. Chip! Who did you take with you to your Senior Prom? **A.** Dead Chipmonk took his Significant Other to the Prom, but took fully half the Senior Class home that night. **Q.** The whole world wants to know, Dead Chipmunk on a Stick…boxers or briefs? **A.** In the finest politically safe tradition, Dead Chipmonk exclusively wears…boxer briefs. **Q.** So what you are saying is that DC got some wood. :::dialing cell phone and contacting NY Times Editor::: He’s Gay! DC is Gay! **A.** While it is absolutely true that “Dead Chipmonk got wood”, it no more means he is or is not gay than the fact that “Tiger Wood got game” indicates beastiality. Hey, Freak - didja see the AP article out of Sacremento? We got 'em on the run! You keep using “munk” and I’ll kepp using “monk”. we’ll have the press reliving the whole ‘Kaddafi vs. Quadaffi’ scenario. Another brilliant diversionary tactic! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/69 "2000-06-28T16:52:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > People, people, please! We’re running a major presidential campaign and two simultaneous threads - have some patience! > > **Q.** Does this mean that DC has part ownership in native american casino operations?\*\* > **A.** While the definition indicates Dead Chipmonk _belongs to the most popular US species_, Blah blah blah \*\* So what you are saying is that DC is either a cat or a dog? DC, therefore, is species-confused? ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/70 "2000-06-28T18:08:43Z")
Dead Chipmunk is not a cat or a dog. Although he can feel their pain. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/71 "2000-06-30T06:30:47Z")
::whispering to Doctor Jackson “I just had an idea! Cover me!”:: ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/72 "2000-06-30T13:12:25Z")
::smiling to the crowd: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! There is nothing to see. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521/73 "2000-07-01T06:03:59Z")
We need your help! We are short on volunteers, me and Doctor Jackson can’t do it alone. We have many positions open. And for a limited time, if you volunteer we’ll get you a position in the cabinet! Except for treasurer, that one’s taken. Whatever you can do will help. And remember, we do this not just for peace, justice, and the common man! We do it for some other really cool stuff too! So join today, and make a difference! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-chipmunk-2000/23521.md?page=3)