# Dead Parakeet **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2000, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145 "2000-07-19T20:22:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/1 "2000-07-19T20:22:02Z")
Last week, while fly-fishing in some residential canals that are the Lake Okeechobee backwaters, we encountered an elderly woman walking down her back yard holding a bowl and asking if either of us (in the boat) knew anything about snakes. We kind of looked at each other with puzzled expressions, turned back to the woman and said, “excuse me?” The woman repeated her question and Andy volunteered, “Well, some. What can we help with?” The woman said that a snake had crawled into her parakeet’s cage and eaten the bird and she wanted to know what kind of snake it was. Thinking the woman to be two Geritol tablets short of her RDA we pulled up to the seawall, got out of the boat, and offered our assistance. It turns out that a 2’ rat snake _had_ made its way into the cage and eaten her parakeet. With the intact bird lodged in its stomach, the snake was now too fat to get back out of the cage. When the woman discovered the snake, she got a butcher knife from the kitchen, inserted it into the side of the cage and cut the snake in two. She then repeated the process leaving her with three pieces of dead snake. She took the piece with the bird, and squeezing like one would a tube of toothpaste, extracted the dead bird. She then dumped the entire mess into a bowl and searched for someone to identify the snake. (Which is where we came into the story.) True stories are sooooo much better than made up ones. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/2 "2000-07-19T20:22:48Z")
Was the parrot, by any chance, a Norwegian Blue? ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/3 "2000-07-19T20:26:36Z")
Probably pining for the fjords. Beautiful plumage! ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/4 "2000-07-19T20:26:55Z")
As long as she didn’t flush it down the loo. That’s dangerous, you know. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/5 "2000-07-19T20:29:01Z")
That parakeet is no more. He has ceased to be. He’s drawn up the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible. This is an EX-PARAKEET! Who the hell keeps a parakeet on the floor, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/6 "2000-07-19T20:34:26Z")
When I first read the title of this thread, I thought you were stepping forward to claim responsibility for [Gr8Kat’s tragic parakeet story](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31266). But, alas, I was mistaken. The parakeet hadn’t, by chance, been nailed to the perch, had it? ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/7 "2000-07-19T20:36:27Z")
Damn. Note to file. Don’t post MP reference to dead parkeet thread before checking all active dead parakeet threads. ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/8 "2000-07-19T20:47:04Z")
Actually, I lost a pet bird to a snake once. Of course, they both belonged to us. And it was a parrot instead of a parakeet. (I didn’t like that parrot much anyway; it was a ‘gimme’ because the original owners had spoiled it & we hadn’t had much luck reforming it.) Shoulda listed to Macaw when he screamed. Fortunately my boa never tangled with the big boy (sigO’s blue&gold macaw). They would probably have BOTH ended up dead. If for no other reason than whichever one survived would have been killed by either me or my sigO. Moral of the story: snakes will escape from cages you’d never think they could get out of & get into places you wouldn’t believe. Altho this rather reminds me of the phonecall my veterinary-technician sigO got at work once: “My daughter’s been scratched by a cat!!! What should I do?!!??!?” ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/9 "2000-07-19T20:58:29Z")
redtail23, > [@](#): > > Altho this rather reminds me of the phonecall my veterinary-technician sigO got at work once: “My daughter’s been scratched by a cat!!! What should I do?!!??!?” I don’t know what your sigO said, but to me the answer is obvious: “If she’s any kind of a woman, she should scratch back!” Sili ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/10 "2000-07-19T22:02:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tradesilicon \* > \*\*redtail23, > > > [@](#): > > > > Altho this rather reminds me of the phonecall my veterinary-technician sigO got at work once: “My daughter’s been scratched by a cat!!! What should I do?!!??!?” > > I don’t know what your sigO said, but to me the answer is obvious: > “If she’s any kind of a woman, she should scratch back!” > > Sili > \*\* Consider my Pepsi-coated monitor a tribute to your comedic timing. ---
**Author:** ![Michi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@Michi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michi)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/11 "2000-07-19T22:07:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by redtail23 \* > \*\* > Altho this rather reminds me of the phonecall my veterinary-technician sigO got at work once: “My daughter’s been scratched by a cat!!! What should I do?!!??!?” > > \*\* I hate calls like that. Why are people so damn stupid? You got bit by an animal? Don’t call the friggin’ vet! GO TO A DOCTOR! A doctor that works on HUMANS!!! ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/12 "2000-07-19T23:27:13Z")
Edwardina, I O U 1 pepsi. Please see IT about the monitor! Sili ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/13 "2000-07-20T09:49:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dinsdale \* > \*\*Probably pining for the fjords. Beautiful plumage! \*\* “Pining for the fjords? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on it’s back the moment I got it home?” > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michi \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by redtail23 \* > > \*\* > > Altho this rather reminds me of the phonecall my veterinary-technician sigO got at work once: “My daughter’s been scratched by a cat!!! What should I do?!!??!?” > > > > \*\* > > I hate calls like that. Why are people so damn stupid? You got bit by an animal? Don’t call the friggin’ vet! GO TO A DOCTOR! A doctor that works on HUMANS!!! \*\* Knowing how you feel about cats, and about children, I marvel that you didn’t suggest they put the daughter down. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/14 "2000-07-20T09:57:28Z")
it has shed its mortal coils… ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/15 "2000-07-20T12:52:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Knowing how you feel about cats, and about children, I marvel that you didn’t suggest they put the daughter down. Good Idea! I wonder what the odds are of saying this with a straight face and still avoiding the all-but-certain lawsuit? Oh yeah – like I said, “all-but-certain” lawsuit. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/16 "2000-07-20T14:56:24Z")
_sigh_ I’m in a trainging class for two days and I miss a prime opportunity to quote from my favorite British boys - Monty Python. There’s only one quote left that I can think of off the top of my head that I haven’t seen here. Was he tired and shagged out after an exceptionally long squawk? ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/17 "2000-07-20T15:10:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SouthernStyle \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Knowing how you feel about cats, and about children, I marvel that you didn’t suggest they put the daughter down. > > Good Idea! I wonder what the odds are of saying this with a straight face and still avoiding the all-but-certain lawsuit? Oh yeah – like I said, “all-but-certain” lawsuit. > > \*\* No attorney would take the case: meaning no offense to Michi, she doesn’t have “deep pockets”, so it wouldn’t be worth it for an attorney to represent such a plaintiff. As for the Reader, I’m sure they’ve got a “the opinions expressed herein” disclaimer. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/18 "2000-07-20T17:07:12Z")
Welcome, **Bratman007**. Your absence was noted. **Dry** , I meant that I wondered what were the chances of the vet’s office escaping without a lawsuit were one of their “humorously endowed” employees to utter such a statement. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/19 "2000-07-20T17:11:54Z")
“Shagged out.” I love it! Thanks, Brat. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145/20 "2000-07-20T17:17:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BratMan007 \* > \*\*_sigh_ > Was he tired and shagged out after an exceptionally long squawk? \*\* He’s stunned. Stunned? Yeah, it was stunned just as it was waking up. Norwegian Blues stunn easily. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-parakeet/26145.md?page=2)