# Dead People Aren't Magical, And There Aren't Any Signs! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 5, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905 "2012-02-05T22:29:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/21 "2012-02-06T04:02:55Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I saw an image of Eli Manning in my scrambled eggs this morning, and I took that as a sign that NYG would win the Super Bowl. Eli Manning is alive, and therefore still capable of generating signs. Once he dies, though, forget it. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/22 "2012-02-06T04:16:57Z")
eh, it was a 50/50 shot. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/23 "2012-02-06T04:46:32Z")
“It’s a sign!” “It sure is” (A sign that you’re a moron, but I’m trying to be nice so I won’t say it out loud.) Give me a minute, I’m about to masturbate and I need to exorcize the ghosts of my dead family members so they won’t watch. Fucking deceased perverts. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/24 "2012-02-06T04:57:00Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > - don’t blow yer stack just because I threw one barb at an OP. Isn’t that what this forum is for? Not according to **Acsenray**. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/25 "2012-02-06T05:06:50Z")
> [@Gagundathar](#): > > Well, it came true, thereby proving that your eggs are somehow mystically charged. > Where do you buy your eggs? My eggs come from NEW YORK CITY! Same as my hot sauce. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/26 "2012-02-06T08:46:07Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > just got off the phone with one of my best friends, who told me that her period is two weeks late, and she thinks she’s pregnant, even though her tubes were tied a couple of years ago. Even though she’s single and already has three kids that she can barely support, if she is pregnant, she’s going to keep it, because if she got pregnant while her tubes were tied, then it’s a sign! :rolleyes: Hey, if she’s single, had her tubes tied and still got pregnant, it might just be. Religions got started over less Immaculate than that 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bldysabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/27 "2012-02-06T11:54:20Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Not according to **Acsenray**. I’m officially spending too much time on this board. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/28 "2012-02-06T12:39:18Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Okay, I have had it with these motherfucking mystical bullshit-spewers on this motherfucking planet! How many times have you heard people talk about their dead relatives and how they watch over them and see everything they do? I’ve heard it plenty- too much, in fact. Guess what- if they see everything you do, they also see you masturbate and pick your nose! Haha! So next time you’re getting it on with your vibrator or your hand, think about great-grandma watching _that_ shit! Also, please note that dead people do not create rainbows to send you messages! Stop interpreting perfectly natural occurrences as mystical messages sent just for you, asshole! That’s my rainbow, too! Whenever I hear people say that their dead relatives are there, I say, “Ew! Don’t they stink??” > > Also, there aren’t any signs, okay? Once at work, sitting at the lunch table, a coworker told everyone how it was perfectly fine that her unmarried 16 year-old daughter was pregnant, because they figured out that she must have conceived right when her grandfather was dying, so it was a sign! Yeah, it was a sign that she had unprotected sex, dumbass! I just got off the phone with one of my best friends, who told me that her period is two weeks late, and she thinks she’s pregnant, even though her tubes were tied a couple of years ago. Even though she’s single and already has three kids that she can barely support, if she is pregnant, she’s going to keep it, because if she got pregnant while her tubes were tied, then it’s a sign! :rolleyes: It’s not a fucking sign! I’m all for supporting her choice and it’s her right to keep it, but come on- make your choices based on fact and biology, not some mystical bullshit that you just made up in your head! > > So, to sum up- dead people don’t watch you and they don’t make things happen in order to send you messages, and there aren’t any signs. Okay? Can we think like grownups now? So there’s no **Sixth Sense** , and there’s no **Signs**? Can you make the other M. Night Shyalaman movies go away, too? Especially \*\* The Happening\*\*. I’d like that. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/29 "2012-02-06T13:06:55Z")
Nicely put, **Alice**. Can I commission you to do a piece about chirpractors who rack up huge bills to treat “nonallopathic lesions” caused by low force car colisions? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/30 "2012-02-06T13:54:27Z")
I don’t know what ya’ll are talking about. My dead cats watch over me all the time, protecting me from all the demon mice that try to slink into my mouth when I’m sleeping. Every time my cat hisses in the mirror? That’s a sign that they are there. Just 'cuz ya’ll don’t got friends in supernatural places, that doesn’t give ya’ll permission to hate. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/31 "2012-02-06T14:20:09Z")
It’s obviously people’s way of dealing with grief, just as “guardian angels” are people’s way of dealing with their fear. I know perfectly rational people who swear that their magnetic bracelets ward off arthritis. And you know what? If it works for you, then I’m good with it. Life is too short for me to worry about what non-scientifically proven method of coping you’re using to deal with your pain. So, if a magnetized angel of your dead child is are sending you rainbows as signs, and that is giving you strength to get through another day, then more power to you. You’ll certainly have my sympathy, if not my intellectual respect. Frankly, I’ve got nothing better to offer up, so the last thing I’d want to do is to take away, or begrudge, your panacea. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/32 "2012-02-06T14:32:10Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Life is too short for me to worry about what non-scientifically proven method of coping you’re using to deal with your pain. [What’s The Harm?"](http://whatstheharm.net/) a list of harmless, socially-accepted beliefs that yeilded tragic results ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/33 "2012-02-06T14:42:13Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > It’s obviously people’s way of dealing with grief, just as “guardian angels” are people’s way of dealing with their fear. I know perfectly rational people who swear that their magnetic bracelets ward off arthritis. > > And you know what? If it works for you, then I’m good with it. Life is too short for me to worry about what non-scientifically proven method of coping you’re using to deal with your pain. > > So, if a magnetized angel of your dead child is are sending you rainbows as signs, and that is giving you strength to get through another day, then more power to you. You’ll certainly have my sympathy, if not my intellectual respect. Frankly, I’ve got nothing better to offer up, so the last thing I’d want to do is to take away, or begrudge, your panacea. Quoted because that’s what I wanted to say, only a lot better than I could have put it. Honestly, if the spirits of dead relatives and rainbows bit brings comfort to someone and isn’t harming anyone, MYOFB. I’m superstitious as hell, but I manage to “think like a grownup” very well, thank you. The 16 year old pregnant girl and the single mom with 3 kids already is where it becomes harmful, though, because that’s a new life being born to someone who isn’t properly equipped to take care of it. Still, if a woman decides she’s keeping the baby all you can do is accept her decision, whatever your opinion of her reasoning. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/34 "2012-02-06T14:42:38Z")
Y’all better be careful what you post here. When you die and get to heaven, your great aunt is going to be pissed enough you missed all the signs she sent you. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/35 "2012-02-06T14:53:20Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Y’all better be careful what you post here. When you die and get to heaven, your great aunt is going to be pissed enough you missed all the signs she sent you. Better yet, compliment you on your excellent masturbatory technique. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/36 "2012-02-06T14:57:13Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I saw an image of Eli Manning in my scrambled eggs this morning, and I took that as a sign that NYG would win the Super Bowl. I saw an image of Eli Manning on my TV this morning, and took it as a sign that NYG had won the Super Bowl. And lo, it came to pass. Praise be to thee, great-great-uncle John Logie Baird, and thy magic box! ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/37 "2012-02-06T15:19:48Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Not according to **Acsenray**. Hey, so long as your rant is comprehensible, I got no beef. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/38 "2012-02-06T17:06:06Z")
I got a message from my late great grandmother this morning. She said “Merge Left.” I took it as a sign. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/39 "2012-02-06T17:22:49Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Hey, if she’s single, had her tubes tied and still got pregnant, it might just be. Religions got started over less Immaculate than that 🙂 Single doesn’t mean not having sex. And she’s not. Whew! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905/40 "2012-02-06T17:46:59Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I got a message from my late great grandmother this morning. She said “Merge Left.” I took it as a sign. On my way to work, I saw [this](http://www.hooksigns.com/i/PRODUCT%20IMAGES/Merge-Left.jpg). I took it as a sign. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dead-people-arent-magical-and-there-arent-any-signs/611905.md?page=3)