# Deadbeat parents and the child support enforcement system they hide behind **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 27, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357 "2003-01-27T23:39:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ceyjen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@ceyjen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ceyjen)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/1 "2003-01-27T23:39:46Z")
My son’s bio-dad lives in California. I have tried unsuccessfully for six years now to get my local child support enforcement office to help me get support. I know his last known address, his last known phone number, his current place of employment…what I don’t know is his social security number. Apparently, there is nothing that can be done about my case until I have his social security number. I told them that we did not exchange personal financial information before I conceived his child, but they look at me like I am stupid for not getting the _necessary_ documentation. I am at a loss. Has anyone else experienced similar problems? Was anything ever resolved? Any pointers? ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/2 "2003-01-28T00:02:47Z")
Went through this with the papa in LA, Calif. & just like you said, they needed his social security number. Once we got that it seemed alot easier–although reaching the district attorney to do something about it was next to impossible. There are places on the web that do the collection work for you, e.g. [supportkids.com](http://supportkids.com) [childsupport.com](http://childsupport.com) Try to get a book, 457 pages!, Child Custody Made Simple: Understanding the Law of Child Custody and Child Support from your library or bookstore or [amazon.com](http://amazon.com) ($15.37 -cheap). It’s a great resource. good luck. ---
**Author:** ![ceyjen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@ceyjen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ceyjen)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/3 "2003-01-30T15:16:50Z")
**handy** , how did you get the dad’s social security number? He hasn’t spoken to me in the 6 years that his son has been alive. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/4 "2003-01-30T15:23:15Z")
Is he documented as the dad on the birth certificate? Wouldn’t his SSN be there? ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/5 "2003-01-30T15:25:50Z")
Couldn’t you hire a sleazy private eye to get Bio-Dad’s SS number? I can’t believe there are not any PIs out there willing to do something like this on the sly … It’s for the greater good, dontcha know. As the saying goes, you gotta break a few eggs to make an omlette. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/6 "2003-01-30T16:20:11Z")
My nephew is 5 years old. My sister has gotten less than $50 from my nephew’s biological father, and that was when the kid was still in diapers. She hasn’t seen him for probably four years. She has supplied the proper authorities of his whereabouts, phone numbers, job sites, etc. and they have done NOTHING. He got picked up once and released from jail less than 24 hours later. Currently there is a warrant for his arrest, but the police have to find him first. There’s nothing she can do about it either. She said she called Support Kids, but they take such a percentage of the money they collect for you that it’s almost not even worth it anymore. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/7 "2003-01-30T17:23:32Z")
ceyjen, the district attorney had it all along. They can get it if they want it. If the dad is working in California, then he put the number on his employment form. Of course, in our case, he worked for himself, so we couldnt go that route. He said that he made $700 per month & they guy is in LA, Calif. $700 a month? I once looked up his company (it had his name as the name of the comp) on the web & had to pay a few bucks for some info & turned out that his comp made around 1.5M per year. I think that was too much, but thats all i could find. ---
**Author:** ![ceyjen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@ceyjen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ceyjen)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/8 "2003-01-30T18:32:59Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by Amp_ > Is he documented as the dad on the birth certificate? Wouldn’t his SSN be there? I don’t know about other states, but here in New Mexico, if you are not married to the child’s bio-father at the time of your child’s birth (which was my situation), the father has to be there to sign an affidavit taking responsibility for the child. Father was not there. Father signed no affidavits. The space for the father’s name on the birth certificate is blank. There have never been any DNA tests or anything because he likes to play like he is anonymous. What a jerk he turned out to be… ---
**Author:** ![ceyjen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@ceyjen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ceyjen)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/9 "2003-01-30T18:40:22Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by Spiff_ > Couldn’t you hire a sleazy private eye to get Bio-Dad’s SS number? Tried that once…it seems as though the guy has slipped and fallen off the face of the earth. Another aggravation: I see his mom all the time. She always says, “Isn’t there anything my son could do for you?” And I say, “Yeah, he could give me his social security number.” And she says, “Oh, I don’t think he would do that. It’s a private, personal number, you know.” I could just strangle both of them… Consequently, I have requested that she keep her distance from my son. She could probably go after me by wielding her “grandparents’ rights,” but then there would have to be proof of blood relation…dad would finally be identified as “dad”, his wages could be garnished…and the world would be bright and wonderful again… That’s probably why she hasn’t bothered with anything of the legal variety with me. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/10 "2003-01-30T18:41:09Z")
Well [California](http://www.ncsl.org/programs/cyf/ssn.htm) - > [@](#): > > Requires collection of SSNs on applications for professional, occupational, driver’s, marriage, and recreational licenses so any decent PI who uses the web should be able to get the info you want without too much fuss. [This is why they want them -Top 5 Questions Regarding Social Security Number Collection for Child Support Enforcement](http://www.ncsl.org/programs/cyf/ssnumb.htm) As a second question, even if you do find him how are you going to collect CS without a paternity test if he is not listed anywhere as being responsible for the child? Don’t you have to get a court order to get him DNA tested before anything else can proceed if he denies paternity? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/11 "2003-01-30T18:48:13Z")
Another issue you might want to consider as you indicate that you are married in another thread, is that if you pursue and prove paternity in order to get the CS the bio-dad may have some parental rights with respect to the boy, and this may potentially interfere with your new husband’s ability to legally adopt him (if that is something you nad your husband want). As it stands right now there is probably no impediment to the adoption. If the bio-dad is a jerk he could potentially hold this process hostage ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/12 "2003-01-30T19:44:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ceyjen \* > \*\*I see his mom all the time. She always says, “Isn’t there anything my son could do for you?” And I say, “Yeah, he could give me his social security number.” And she says, “Oh, I don’t think he would do that. It’s a private, personal number, you know.” \*\* Would she be agreeable if you asked her to give his SSN number to the child support office instead of giving it to you? ---
**Author:** ![ceyjen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@ceyjen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ceyjen)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/13 "2003-01-30T20:28:23Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by astro_ > Don’t you have to get a court order to get him DNA tested before anything else can proceed if he denies paternity? That is probably the easiest thing I’ll ever have to do with this whole mess. The samples can be taken from my son here and from dad there. The samples are then sent to an impartial facility for analysis. [quote] _Originally posted by astro_ …if you pursue and prove paternity in order to get the CS the bio-dad may have some parental rights with respect to the boy, and this may potentially interfere with your new husband’s ability to legally adopt him [quote] Adoption is not necessarily a consideration. I was married to someone else about 9 months after my son was born, and my ex-husband and my son are bonded about as well and about as solidly as any father and son could be. For that, I am thankful. ---
**Author:** ![Adoptamom\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/14 "2003-01-30T20:54:15Z")
Hmmm … warning that this is not necessarily legal BUT it may work … Before I married my Mr. Adoptamom, umpteen years ago I married a bum who left me hanging with all our joint debts (community property state). When Mr. Adoptamom and I met - I was determined I was not going to marry another smooth talking deadbeat … so I ran a credit check on him before our fourth date. I didn’t have his social security number, just his name and address … was easy to locate his particular credit file with only that information. His credit file was beautimous, and it included his social security number. Perhaps you have a friend or relative who could assist you in running an exploratory credit check? I can’t beleive I just posted my participation in an illegal activity for God and everyone to see :eek: ---
**Author:** ![ceyjen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@ceyjen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ceyjen)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/15 "2003-01-30T21:18:30Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by_ **Adoptamom** > I can’t beleive I just posted my participation in an illegal activity for God and everyone to see Why is this illegal exactly? You were able to get the report…hmmm ---
**Author:** ![ceyjen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@ceyjen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ceyjen)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/16 "2003-01-30T21:21:34Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by_ **miamouse** > Would she be agreeable if you asked her to give his SSN number to the child support office instead of giving it to you? That may be the only way…next time she has the gall to ask me if there’s anything the dad can do, I may just hit her with that one. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/17 "2003-01-30T21:26:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ceyjen \* > \*\*Why is this illegal exactly? You were able to get the report…hmmm \*\* The SS info is out there. Any competent private dick can find it in a variety of databases… ---
**Author:** ![Adoptamom\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/18 "2003-01-30T22:58:55Z")
Back when I pulled the credit report (1986?) - the financial institution was required by law (or so I was told) to have a signature on file giving express permission for said credit report to be pulled. I was under the impression what I did was illegal - secondary to the fact that I could’ve been fired on the spot because not only did I not have his signature, I didn’t even tell him I intended to pull the report. Felt dangerous and “detective like” at the time though perhaps by today’s standards, it wasn’t a big deal … ultimately my goal was to make sure this man paid his bills on time before I continued with the relationship … good credit = good indicator man = good and honorable man … and he is:D ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/19 "2003-01-30T23:55:48Z")
Well, did you try to call SS & ask them what his number is how you might arrange for them to give it to you? Im in California, why I would just visit the guy myself & ask him what the number is for ya 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357/20 "2003-01-31T17:09:33Z")
Also, you have to consider that if you find him & get him to pay child support that he might want visitation rights. Then, some day he might sue for primary custody. So you have to weigh the money you might get with this. Defending a child primary custody law suit could cost $10,000 or more. I know about that one. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deadbeat-parents-and-the-child-support-enforcement-system-they-hide-behind/151357.md?page=2)