# Dealbreakers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2002, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834 "2002-11-15T07:04:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/21 "2002-11-15T18:23:04Z")
Hey **Incubus** , I’ll take the fat chicks you don’t want (seriously, I _like_ big woman!) For my list, let’s see… [ul] Busybodies/gossipmongers Anyone who watches trashy talk shows Country music fans Rap music fans Anyone who doesn’t like cats (I’m a cat lover, obviously) Alcoholics (moderate drinkers are okay, although I don’t drink myself) Drug users Heavy smokers Anyone who is overzealously fanatical[sup]\*[/sup] about religion, politics, abortion, the environment, animal rights, etc. [/ul] [sup]\*[/sup] I have my own opinions on these topics, too, but I respectfully remain silent on them and don’t get in the faces of people whose opinions differ from mine. I’m not one to go out and attend rallies/protests, plaster bumper stickers all over my car to promote my side of these issues, etc. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/22 "2002-11-15T18:31:50Z")
Let’s not restrict ourselves to dating – a dealbreaker for me on a potential employer is someone who does drug testing. I don’t do drugs – hell, I don’t drink or smoke – but I don’t consider what I do on my own time my employer’s business. (I in fact once turned down a job based on this.) If somewhat screws up on the job or shows up loaded, that’s one thing, but smoking a jay on Saturday night ain’t nobody’s business. (and **dwc** – how ya doin’?) ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/23 "2002-11-15T19:30:31Z")
**Moderator’s Notes:** Can we cheese it with the debate over the merits and historicity of hunting? Way too far off-topic to be continued here—it’s so far off-topic, it’s off-forum. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/24 "2002-11-15T19:39:56Z")
I would never date: A Republican A Libertarian. A hunter (I agree with Opal - if you get your kicks killing animals, not my business, but don’t expect me to want to spend a lot of time with you.) A bigot A fundamentalist of any religion. Not that they would want to date me anyway, probably. I would never buy a car: With two doors. I HATE two-door cars. Painted red or white. I just don’t like 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/25 "2002-11-15T19:43:55Z")
I wouldn’t work at a job that required me to carry a cell phone or a beeper, or that had me working more than 40 hours a week. I wouldn’t use a mouse without a mousewheel. I require my comic books to be self-contained. No crossing over with other books. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/26 "2002-11-15T19:45:08Z")
I guess I should add that a conservative, fundamentalist, or “John Edwards believer” is right out as well. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/27 "2002-11-15T19:45:53Z")
I wouldn’t date, well…anyone. I’m in a committed relationship, and if I did date someone, I might get my head chopped off. And I’m afraid to find out which one. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/28 "2002-11-15T19:59:37Z")
I would never marry a man who: - didn’t like or want children. - was a citizen of one of those countries where they routinely chant unpleasantries about our President while burning our flag. - didn’t like dogs. - didn’t know how to fix shit. Unlike OpalCat, I want a man who knows how to use a gun. And a hammer. - had no sense of humor. - didn’t treat his mother like gold. - ever hit me. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/29 "2002-11-15T20:05:42Z")
I wouldn’t date or marry a woman who was catty toward other women. I wouldn’t buy a house that needed a new roof or new furnace (this was an actual deal-breaker on a house we had a bid on). I wouldn’t work for someone who expected me to do work s/he considered beneath him/her. I wouldn’t date or marry a woman who was utterly “helpless.” I wouldn’t date or marry a woman who made racist comments, even in private. I wouldn’t date or marry a woman who couldn’t laugh at herself. Boy, it’s a good thing my wife isn’t like this at all! That’s why it’s lasted 20+ years, folks. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/30 "2002-11-15T20:10:00Z")
I would never date a man who doesn’t like the 49ers. I would never buy a car that is purple, silver or yellow. I would never move into a place that won’t allow “Chance, The Noble Weimaraner” as well. I would never use margarine instead of butter. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/31 "2002-11-15T20:27:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > \*\*I would imagine the inclination and ability to hunt by your ancestors is part of the reason you are able to be here today sitting in a comfortable chair, propped up in front of a PC pontificating on what, until very recently, has been an essential and much admired element of being a provider for immediate and extended family, and more generally a successful human being. > > To dismiss someone because they have developed a skill that offends your puffed up and errant sensibilities about what it really means to be human is unfortunate. Per your previously posts I considered you to be a person of some intellectual and emotional depth. The “dealbreaker” criteria you are listing are making you look as shallow as a puddle. \*\* I’m a vegetarian and an animal lover and the idea that someone would _enjoy_ killing animals is repellant to me. I’m sorry if that offends you but it goes against something that I feel very strongly about. It isn’t a matter of whether they have a skill, it is that they find pleasure in killing. As for the Christian thing, let’s call it emotional scarring from my upbringing, and the fact that I’m pagan would make me feel very nervous about working in a place where someone felt the need to display their Christianity. (I don’t care if they are Christians, mind you–that doesn’t bother me. It’s the display that would scare me.) In any case, I fail to see how my personal preferences could offend you so badly. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/32 "2002-11-15T20:29:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBeer \* > \*\ ***Moderator’s Notes:** > Can we cheese it with the debate over the merits and historicity of hunting? Way too far off-topic to be continued here—it’s so far off-topic, it’s off-forum. \*\* Oops. I posted my reply before I got to this part. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/33 "2002-11-15T20:33:54Z")
I would never date someone who hated cats. I would never buy a purse that cost a lot of money just because of its brand name. I would never buy a car with a vinyl top. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/34 "2002-11-15T21:51:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Oops. I posted my reply before I got to this part. Sorry. No problem. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/35 "2002-11-15T21:53:12Z")
I apologize to Opalcat and UncleBeer. My opinions about people who are anti-hunter were not germane to this thread and should not have been aired in the thread. BTW Opalcat I am an atheist. I could really care less about peoples religious likes and dis-likes. it was the hunting angle my response was referring to. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/36 "2002-11-15T22:12:40Z")
If I was still out on the market, I would not date any man who: thinks women should stay home, clean house, and mind babies doesn’t like my pets has children requires the use of a crowbar to separate him from the television or computer gets his jollies killing stuff is rude to waitstaff or salesclerks tries to shove any of his opinions on any subject in my face ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/37 "2002-11-15T22:55:07Z")
I would never date a man who: -posted on the SDMB under the username “maxthevool” Oh, no, wait, that’s not **my** dealbreaker, it’s the dealbreaker of **every woman in the damn country** Seriously, I would never date a woman who: -was dumb -was so physically unattractive that I couldn’t get past it -was evil -didn’t share a common language with me -was over 40 or under 18 (I’m 28) There are lots of other things that would strongly dissuade me, but those are the only three I can think of that would be absolute vetoes. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/38 "2002-11-16T00:36:34Z")
Wait a few more years, **Max** , and those over-40s’ll start looking better. A funny thing, that I suspect most posters here probably really know, is that in romantic dealings a list of dealbreakers can easily go right out the window. I spent many years in a relationship with a non-drinking, non-smoking, politically liberal Catholic, who did in fact deck me once. That description could easily be my dealbreaker list, and those are certainly not things I seek in a woman. But all of the above had almost no negative effects on our relationship, and have nothing to do with why we’re no longer a couple. Now that I think about it, when I met her I drove a Chevy with big fat tires and a UT Longhorn sticker in the rear window. In her circles, I was initially percieved as a Steve Dallas sort. I’ve also spent a few years with a woman who _liked_ to fight and carried a gun, all of the time except for occasional periods when it was lost. And a few more years were spent with an IV drug-user - that seemed like martian behavior to me. So, as my dating dealbreaker list comes together, I find I am unable to even begin to guess with whom I’ll hookup next, but I suppose there’s half a chance she’ll be a non-drinking, non-smoking, politically liberal Catholic who likes to fight, carries a gun and shoots up. Uh,… I’m taking a little rest break right now. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2002, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/39 "2002-11-16T01:03:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MaxTheVool \* > \*\* > Seriously, I would never date a woman who: > -was dumb > -was so physically unattractive that I couldn’t get past it > -was evil > -didn’t share a common language with me > -was over 40 or under 18 (I’m 28) > > There are lots of other things that would strongly dissuade me, but those are the only three I can think of that would be absolute vetoes. \*\* I don’t think you should automatically reject someone just because they’re evil. Some of my best friends are evil. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2002, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/40 "2002-11-16T01:07:17Z")
PUNDITLISA, you are me! Or I are you. [sub]Is this why we’re never seen in the same place at the same time?[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834.md?page=3)