# Dealbreakers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2002, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834 "2002-11-15T07:04:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2002, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/61 "2002-11-17T14:45:39Z")
I would never buy a bathtub that didn’t come with a house. ---
**Author:** ![AmbushBug](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ambushbug/32/4600_2.png) [@AmbushBug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmbushBug)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/62 "2002-11-17T17:13:36Z")
I would **never** post in a message thread that… oh, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2002, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/63 "2002-11-17T17:51:01Z")
I would never date a girl with a piercing that’s not visible when she’s standing, fully clothed, with her mouth shut. I just think they’re icky. I would never play cribbage with a sorority girl. (Come on. You have to have SOME principles, even if they’re completely useless.) ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2002, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/64 "2002-11-17T18:57:10Z")
I would never rent an apartment without air conditioning. I would never buy a car with a manual transmission; city driving is torture with a manual. I won’t buy furniture that contains nylon, mattresses exclude, the mattress pad may not contain nylon. I would never date a vegatarian or a vegan. I sometimes measure the quality of a meal by the number of types of carcasses involved. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/65 "2002-11-18T02:30:59Z")
I wouldn’t get involved with anyone who: Was a fundamentalist anything (Christian, Liberal, Astrologist, Muslim, Designated Hitter, etc.) Wasn’t at least a little bit evil (more would be better) Was obsessed with brand goods like Louis Vuitton, Prada, Rolex, etc. (unfortunately, I learned this a little too late about my wife) So dumb as to lack even rudimentary self-preservation skills (I stopped calling one girl after seeing her walk up to a telephone pole that had been knocked over and was hanging by its still-sputtering wires, and prop her foot up on it so she could adjust her shoes! And she was a lingerie model, for Og’s sake!) Had bad teeth. Crooked isn’t a big deal, but dirty to me indicates some real self-neglect. ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/66 "2002-11-18T05:58:59Z")
2 Quotes here: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hillbilly queen \* > \*\* > If hunters are so **skillful** , why do they need a big safety belt to keep them from falling out of trees? > Why do they have to get up at 3:00 a.m. to arrive at the deer hang-out before the deer do? > Why do they have to wear a big ol’ orange vest on top of their camoflauge, to keep from shooting eachother? Wouldn’t you get the same effect from no camoflauge at all? > > Hunting is about buying as many items as you can, to confuse a gentle dim-witted animal. > and… > > \*Originally posted by Opalcat \* > I’m a vegetarian and an animal lover and the idea that someone would _enjoy_ killing animals is repellant to me. I’m sorry if that offends you but it goes against something that I feel very strongly about. It isn’t a matter of whether they have a skill, it is that they find pleasure in killing. > > As for the Christian thing, let’s call it emotional scarring from my upbringing, and the fact that I’m pagan would make me feel very nervous about working in a place where someone felt the need to display their Christianity. (I don’t care if they are Christians, mind you–that doesn’t bother me. It’s the display that would scare me.) > > In any case, I fail to see how my personal preferences could offend you so badly.\*\* As I’m sitting here, I just finished washing and de-scenting all my hunting stuff for tomorrow’s big day, the opening day of deer season. Now I’m scanning the SDMB, trying to calm down enough to get a few hours sleep before I hit the woods. I can’t believe how judgemental and closed-minded my fellow dopers, much less my fellow **Pagans** are on this issue! First of all, Hillbilly Queen (a name which almost imply’s a tolerance of hunting in intself!): Q: If hunters are so **skillful** , why do they need a big safety belt to keep them from falling out of trees? A: Lazy, unskilled hunters hunt from tree stands. They need help. There are losers and morons in every group, hunting is neither an exception nor a standout in this respect. Q: Why do they have to get up at 3:00 a.m. to arrive at the deer hang-out before the deer do? A: It would be kinda pointless to get there AFTER the deer. Sorry, but this is a stupid question. If you’re gonna make a point, ok, but this is not a point worth making. Q: Why do they have to wear a big ol’ orange vest on top of their camoflauge, to keep from shooting eachother? Wouldn’t you get the same effect from no camoflauge at all? A: The orange is to protect us from the idiots mentioned in question #1. It has not effect on the deer one way or the other, because they are all color blind. The purpose of camoflauge is to break up your outline and defeat the natural pattern-recognition that all animals have. As far as deer hunting goes, it could be purple and still work if it had the same pattern and contrast. It’s green and brown because some of the other animals we hunt, like turkeys, CAN see color. Now **Opal** , I was sorely disappointed to hear this particular comment from you. While I respect your right to your beliefs wholeheartedly, I would have thought that a pagan woman would appreciate the place that hunting has in our rituals, our mythology, and our ancestors way of life. We ARE NOT all drunk rednecks in pickups with miniature cannons blazing at anything that wears fur. Some of us hunt to feed our families. My kids and I are not vegetarians. Some animal will die for our dinner. I see no difference in a big mac or a deer steak. You may disagree with the process as a whole, but you have to concede that the cow has as much right to live as the deer. So if it’s socially acceptable to kill one, then it should be to kill the other. I hunt as my ancestors hunted. I use my own skill and I often come home empty handed rather than risk making a mistake or merely injuring an animal. As a Druid, when I’m in the woods, I always leave offerings for the little people. MY father and grandfather taught me a quiet respect for the woods. I never kill other predators, only prey animals that I will eat. I know this post will not change the minds of anyone here, but I hope maybe you will consider that hunting is natural and can be done in a right way. One final thought: how many of those animals you love, especially those you keep in your home, are natural predators? Have you ever seen some of the things that go on between predators and prey? Humans are far and away more “humane” in most cases, and don’t we have the same rights as other animals? ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/67 "2002-11-18T06:02:09Z")
A further thought: Apolgies if that reply came off as extremely confrontational, especially to Opal. I’m not trying to fight here, just to get people to see that things are not as they seem on TV. Peace, //\etalhead ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/68 "2002-11-18T06:27:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by //\etalhea|) \* > \*\*One final thought: how many of those animals you love, especially those you keep in your home, are natural predators? Have you ever seen some of the things that go on between predators and prey? Humans are far and away more “humane” in most cases, and don’t we have the same rights as other animals? \*\* …blah blah blah. I’m talking about MY PREFERENCES FOR DATING here. I’m not saying that hunters are evil people, or that I wouldn’t ever associate with them, or that I hate them or anything like that. Simply that I could not date one. I feel too strongly about animals to have that sort of relationship with someone who enjoys killing animals. I’m sorry that this offends you. I’m sorry that you think this is closed minded. However, think about something that you feel strongly about. How about paganism? Would you date someone who felt that the old custom of burning witches was a good thing? Would you date someone who insisted you were a satanist? Let’s say that you have a lot of gay friends/relatives… would you date someone who was an admitted gay-basher? If you were passionately anti-drugs, would you date an IV drug user (and not try to talk them out of it?) If you were part of a religion that believed that premarital sex was a hell-worthy sin, would you date a prostitute (and not try to change them?) There are times when a moral conflict precludes having a relationship. This is one of those conflicts for me that I could not get around. For ME ‘so long as thou harm none’ extends as far as is reasonably possible. For ME that includes harming animals. I don’t think you fully appreciate how important animals are to me. I spent 10 minutes yesterday catching a moth so I could put it outside. I carry ants outside. I was late to an appointment once because I was dodging traffic to save a turtle on a busy street. I feel a very strong _bond_ with animals of all types. I have a strong moral conflict [which precludes me from having an involved relationship] with someone who enjoys killing that which I hold so dear. For the hell of it, [here is me with a deer. It was on the side of the road so we stopped.]([http://gallery.opalcat.com/image-cache/Animals/Others/Deer](http://gallery.opalcat.com/image%2dcache/Animals/Others/Deer) %26K%207%2d00%5fdisp512.jpg) – the idea that someone could see this and think “gosh, I’m gonna kill it!” is shocking to ME. And here is [me with the snake I rescued](http://gallery.opalcat.com/image%2dcache/Movies%20%26%20Audio/061001%2dsnake/introducesnake%5fdisp512.jpg) from an area it would surely have been killed. [and this is the last I’m gonna debate this here, I swear! Sorry!!] ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/69 "2002-11-18T06:32:37Z")
Ok I lied, I have to clarify: I do think that the cow has as much right to live, and it makes me sad that they are killed. The key difference here FOR ME is that a hunter does it because they _enjoy_ it. As for ritual and history, I don’t think we should be resurrecting the ritual of the Corn King\* either. \*yes, I know that there is debate on whether or not this ritual human sacrifice was ever actually widespread. But you get the point. Just because something was important in the past doesn’t mean that we need to keep doing it now that it is no longer neccessary. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/70 "2002-11-18T06:33:47Z")
A second clarification (man I’m breaking promises right and left) My use of “blah blah blah” was not meant to be offensive, it was just that I didn’t want to quote all of that. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/71 "2002-11-18T06:36:43Z")
_sigh_ the links _would_ break. deer: [http://tinyurl.com/2sa1](http://tinyurl.com/2sa1) ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/72 "2002-11-18T07:13:03Z")
I couldn’t date anyone who was extremely racist. I couldn’t date anyone who owned a boat. This is not a moral judgement against boating. I just really hate it. Caveat: if the person did not make the boat his/her entire life, I could deal. Maybe. I will _not_ buy a car that doesn’t have an excellent climate control system. A/C and heating. Especially heating. I won’t buy a computer by Compaq. Or HP. I refuse to buy _any_ stones (rocks) that I think are overpriced. I’m especially picky about the quality of stones like lapis. I won’t see a movie that is marketed towards teens without at least three separate positive reviews from people I know. None of whom can be my little sister. I would never date a man who completely didn’t know how to cook. Any man who would willingly work 70 hour weeks regularly under circumstances that are not extremely abnormal (paying for Little Brother Joey’s heart transplant, elderly parents that need to be supported, etc) is right out. (Note that I say man: I mean man or woman. I’m just being lazy with my phrasing). ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/73 "2002-11-18T07:51:08Z")
It seems strange to me to completely cross-off someone from something as simple as A DATE. (you know, going to dinner or something simple, as opposed to establishing a lasting relationship) just because of a difference of opinion. This might just be the opportunity to enlighten that person. Perhaps they are not who you think. Maybe that person w/ whatever reason they have been labelled “undatable” is actually a wonderful human being that is just having a few problems dealing w/ something that you could understand. Who knows, you might even be able to help. Me: I would never date a woman that wouldn’t give me the time of day because I love dogs and children and fishing and the outdoors and books and music and cooking and working 'round the house and…oh wait a minute!! I forgot we’re focusing on the negatives, Sorry…☹ ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/74 "2002-11-18T11:30:19Z")
I would consider being friends with someone, but not a one-on-one relationship. I wouldn’t even be open to the possibility, so why go on the date? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/75 "2002-11-18T11:32:01Z")
example: should a jewish person agree to a date with a nazi, because it’s just a date? ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/76 "2002-11-18T18:45:39Z")
A date as in let’s go out and sit and talk…maybe reconcile a few differences. I guess I don’t see a date as being necessarily romantic in nature. I’ve gone out with people in the past, on a date if you will, had drinks, or a movie, dinner whatever and had a good time, talked about interesting things and never pursued a romance in the relationship. I’m a man that actually has friends that are women w/out having sex. I’ve got an SO for that. My mistake y’all win. BTW- If the Jews and the Nazis or (??? + ???) did go on a date it might possibly do some good. I didn’t say anybody should do anything because it’s just a date. My point was, one shouldn’t absolutely dismiss an entire “category” of people as worthy, based on a single act. (w/ a few possible extreme exceptions) NO, I wouldn’t send my daughter on a date w/ a convicted child molester. anyway…didn’t mean to hijack…sorry O/C Peace ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/77 "2002-11-18T20:17:06Z")
I don’t call those dates. To me, dates are romantic in nature. Going out with a friend is just … going out with a friend. I don’t dismiss people as not being worthy _as people_ but this is an issue that is extremely important to me. I seriously doubt that I could have even a close friendship with someone who destroyed one of the things I hold most precious. That’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/78 "2002-11-18T21:04:38Z")
That’s cool, I still think the first time you go out with someone, before they are a friend/enemy to get to know them is a date. But, “that’s just me. too” That point conceded, I got it. as far as: “I seriously doubt that I could have even a close friendship with someone who destroyed one of the things I hold most precious.” I assume you refer to killing for sport. Not just destroying life, correct? I can understand that to a point. Some people actually make a living providing meat for public consumption (ie:commercial fishermen AND enjoy their jobs) If it’s is in reference to vegan beliefs, then we need to start feeding our cats/dogs soy-feed. Wouldn’t want to contribute to the murder of defenseless creatures for the purpose of feeding our pets. Sorry, I think you’re great O/C, please take no offense. I’m gonna go now. I just realized this was MPSIMS despite how serious this subject could get. Peace ---
**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/79 "2002-11-18T22:05:03Z")
I shall not smoke whilst pumping gasoline into my SUV. I shall not romance terrorists. I shall not eat uncooked meat. I shall not wear orange whilst attending sporting events. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834/80 "2002-11-18T22:21:37Z")
I would never eat at a restaurant that’s messier than my own house. Not usually a big problem, given the state of my kitchen, but still. You have to start somewhere. I would never buy a car that made me look like I was having a midlife crisis. If I were dating, I would never date recreational drug users, and someone who smoked would have to be otherwise spectacularly terrific to get a date. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealbreakers/136834.md?page=5)