# Dealing with a kid who is willfully destructive **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 30, 2021, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-a-kid-who-is-willfully-destructive/949794 "2021-08-30T20:14:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2021, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-a-kid-who-is-willfully-destructive/949794/61 "2021-09-05T21:55:39Z")
I think pkbites meant that the kids were jacked up (i.e. aggressive, noisy, or otherwise misbehaving) and that the term did not mean s/he was beating them or otherwise trying to abuse them into submission. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2021, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-a-kid-who-is-willfully-destructive/949794/62 "2021-09-05T21:58:10Z")
When my nieces, who are now 20 and 21, were preschoolers, the younger one blew out the older one’s birthday candles. Naturally, she cried and kept saying, “(My sister) wuined my birfday!” We all laugh about it now. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2021, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-a-kid-who-is-willfully-destructive/949794/63 "2021-09-05T23:23:53Z")
> [@bump](#): > > I can remember thinking that I’d never have done that sort of thing, because I’d have been punished, made to make some form of restitution, either financial or labor, and made to apologize. I can remember wondering why the hell they did that, because I’ve never wanted to randomly break things. “I’d be punished” never even entered my mind. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2021, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-a-kid-who-is-willfully-destructive/949794/64 "2021-09-06T01:20:22Z")
Well yeah, but the thought did cross my mind that I’d have been in a world of shit if I’d done something like that, even if I wasn’t otherwise interested in random destruction. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2021, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-a-kid-who-is-willfully-destructive/949794/65 "2021-09-08T16:48:34Z")
A quick-thinking response might have been “Look, sis blew out your candles! That means you get TWO wishes!!!”. And a snarky response that would have led to younger sis wailing would be “And she doesn’t get ANY on her next birthday!”. ---
**Author:** ![echoreply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/echoreply/32/3641_2.png) [@echoreply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/echoreply)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2021, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-a-kid-who-is-willfully-destructive/949794/66 "2021-09-08T17:17:36Z")
I’ve dealt with similar situations of the wrong kid blowing out the candles. It was handled by saying, “Now it’s _Birthday Girl’s_ turn to blow out the candles,” moving the rogue blower away from the cake, and relighting the candles. That won’t work with all kids, but most are pretty resilient, and a quick reset of the situation will fix things. Other tactics have been, “_Birthday Girl_ gets first blow, OK, now the rest can help her!” No snickering, people, it’s a kid’s birthday party. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-a-kid-who-is-willfully-destructive/949794.md?page=3)