# Dealing with family that supports trump. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 22, 2018, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712 "2018-09-22T00:11:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/21 "2018-09-22T06:38:26Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > To the OP, have you not been married long? Since, presumably they had different opinions on previous administrations as well, so you should have a handle on it… Surely, even from a distance, you can see how this situation is quite different. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/22 "2018-09-22T06:55:42Z")
Maybe stop assuming that your opinion is a fact, and recognizing that your opinion is, in fact, just an opinion. And that alternate opinions are just as valid as yours. That might reduce your outrage at other people having differing opinions. Just a thought. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/23 "2018-09-22T09:40:57Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Americans seem to be unique in wanting to discuss politics at family gatherings. Why? > > It really doesn’t happen here in Canada (or probably elsewhere.) I’d say it’s THE Basque national sport, but with a caveat: it’s more of a debate, and as soon as anybody starts getting heated for real (as opposed to “people who aren’t Basque are getting scared”, which seriously can happen at “Basque person said ‘hello’”), they are given a timeout. We even debate vigorously when all the debaters are on the same side, it’s good practice for when we’re not. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/24 "2018-09-22T13:50:33Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Maybe stop assuming that your opinion is a fact, and recognizing that your opinion is, in fact, just an opinion. And that alternate opinions are just as valid as yours… I see confusion like this from an unfamiliar Doper, and my reflex is to click Advanced Search. Here’s the first hit: > [@Ashamed of being an American?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ashamed-of-being-an-american/817833/98): > > I was proud to be an American when Obama was president, even though I loathed Obama and all he stood for. > > … I love my country, it’s principles, its Constitution, its philosophy, and its dedication to freedom. I don’t agree with Trump; he agrees with me. > > God bless the USA. I guessed right! What do I win? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/25 "2018-09-22T14:16:44Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > To the OP, have you not been married long? Since, presumably they had different opinions on previous administrations as well, so you should have a handle on it… Married Twenty One years now. And as **Procrustus** said, this is completely different. We are now looking at treason, open racism and corruption. Lies every day bigger than the day before. A moron is now ‘leading’ the country. He is shinning a light for his supporters to follow. At least now that they have crawled out from under their rocks, they have exposed themselves to the ridicule they so richly deserve. And no, I won’t bring the above up over dinner. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/26 "2018-09-22T14:42:03Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Drink. Heavily and quickly, and when you can no longer stand unassisted nor speak without slurring, _then_ bring up Trump. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/27 "2018-09-22T15:53:17Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Americans seem to be unique in wanting to discuss politics at family gatherings. Why? > > It really doesn’t happen here in Canada (or probably elsewhere.) I think Trump is a proxy for a person’s moral system. Anti Trump people feel we are defending morality, democracy, equality and multiculturalism against the fascist creep. I can’t speak for pro Trump supporters, but I assume they feel Trump is a bulwark against dangerous and offensive cultural changes. Again, I can’t speak for pro Trump people but for those of us who dislike Trump, it can be hard to respect the intellect or morals of his base. It feels like they’ll abandon any principle a civilized person should have to support racial purity. I try to avoid the subject when it comes up. We aren’t Changing each other’s minds. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/28 "2018-09-22T16:13:35Z")
Thanksgiving 2016 we set a “no politics” rule. We had very interesting discussions about political history, so for Thanksgiving 2017 the rule was “no 21st century politics”. But since your relatives like to play chess, you could respond to any Trump related comments with “pawn to king 4”, and take the game from there. Becuase for some games the only way to win is to not play. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/29 "2018-09-22T16:34:39Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Trump is not worth ruining a family gathering. No politician is. This. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/30 "2018-09-22T17:11:21Z")
I know families who have been ripped apart over Trump vs AntiTrump. I think it is best to avoid the topic. Neither side is going to convince the other side that they are wrong. Maybe mention that the economy is booming, then move on to something else. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/31 "2018-09-22T17:38:13Z")
Leave Trump out of it, and gently explore the issues. I’ve been trying to talk to Trump supporters lately. It turns out that some of them are good people (as are your relatives).\* I just spent almost a whole week with my mover while we got my house packed up and loaded. We talked about a lot of things. He was a great guy, and I learned a lot. We never mentioned Trump. \*This is a reference to Trump’s comment, of course, but I’ve decided to build on it. I’m trying to connect with Trumpers on an individual basis. Thus far, I’ve learned a lot, and hopefully I’ve made a good impression on a few people as well. The conversations have been friendly. (Some of them, of course, are assholes, but I haven’t run into them on my quest to bridge the gap. I will I’m sure.) ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/32 "2018-09-22T17:59:55Z")
I hate how politics seem to dominate every discussion these days. Even when I’m with people who share my positions, I hate that politics have become the major topic of discussion. When I go to lunch, I want to talk about fun stuff, not political policies! With that out of the way, this is a no-win situation for you. It’s not your party, so you can’t set the rules. You’re way out-numbered, so you won’t be able to influence the conversation enough. And most of the people there will want to talk about politics all the time, anyway. If they can’t talk about politics, they won’t have anything to talk about. I would suggest to just not engage. If the discussion starts to center around politics, find a different group and hang with them. If someone asks what you think about something, say “I think it’s time for me to get another drink!” and head to the kitchen. Another option is to stop by every Democratic headquarters you pass on your drive and pick up hats, t-shirts, koozies, bumper stickers, etc. Wear everything and plaster your car with all the stickers. When politics come up, filibuster non-stop about the benefits of liberal policies. If anyone tries to interrupt, TALK LOUDER! Eventually the rest of the party guests will drift away and not bother you for the rest of your visit. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/33 "2018-09-22T18:05:34Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > You’re not an American, I take it. It’s become damn near impossible to avoid someone bringing up Trump (both for or against) in what would seem to be the most obviously inappropriate situations. I am an American, some of my family is pro-Trump and some virulently anti-, and no it isn’t anything close to impossible. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/34 "2018-09-22T18:15:36Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > This. Easy for you to say. It’s not your country going to hell. Over here, we’re worried A substantial number of our fellow citizens are either dangerously stupid or just deplorable. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/35 "2018-09-22T18:34:09Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I am an American, some of my family is pro-Trump and some virulently anti-, and no it isn’t anything close to impossible. > > Regards, > Shodan When I see threads like this I have to wonder if I’m living on a different planet. I can and do go through 99% of my life with out getting into political arguments or even discussions. It’s really not that hard. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/36 "2018-09-22T18:37:08Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Easy for you to say. It’s not your country going to hell. Over here, we’re worried A substantial number of our fellow citizens are either dangerously stupid or just deplorable. Have your forgotten about Brexit? ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/37 "2018-09-22T19:08:59Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > When I see threads like this I have to wonder if I’m living on a different planet. I can and do go through 99% of my life with out getting into political arguments or even discussions. It’s really not that hard. Yep, mostly. I have no idea where the people I work with stand, but have a good guess. Mostly anti-trump. But when your MIL asks “How do you think trump is doing? I think he’s doing pretty good” And your BIL has Trump/Pence banners flying, its sort of hard to ignore. My BIL is actually a very smart fun to be around person. A CEO of an oil equipment manufacturing company. If he still supports trump, AND asks me my opinion, I will flat out tell him what I think, let him respond and then drop it. It’s quite clear that trump supporters are either as vile as he is, or are immune to facts and logic. In the case of my wife’s family, I don’t want to know which one it is. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/38 "2018-09-22T19:34:28Z")
Make your excuses and don’t go if you feel uncomfortable. You are going to another person house, to celebrate an life event for them, on their invite…if you feel so strongly then its better to avoid it then be a guest who is speculating whether hos hosts are vile or just plain stupid. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/39 "2018-09-22T19:52:49Z")
Hoe long are you planning to be there? This is a toughie, but if it’s not too long you could try just walking away from any political talk. More than a few days and you might have to lay down a ground rule. No politics. It’s either that or honestly debate any Trump supporter, and you know how that goes. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712/40 "2018-09-22T20:16:50Z")
Well wait a second partner… Maybe they are not so bad? Consider - you need help moving. Your conservative brother in law has a big pickup truck and is always willing to lend a hand. Your liberal friends and relatives all drive Prius’s and always seem to be griping about the world. Who would you call if you needed help? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-family-that-supports-trump/821712.md?page=3)