# Dealing with the "Jovial Dick" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 14, 2008, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070 "2008-12-14T00:51:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/41 "2008-12-15T19:50:36Z")
Yeah, I probably wouldn’t do it either. My patience would run out long before getting asked about the same thing six days in a row, though, and things might get a little snappish. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/42 "2008-12-15T21:25:18Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Do they monitor your calls or how often you put a customer on hold? We have to specifically ASK the customer if we can put them on hold, and tell them how long before we’ll get back to them. We’re limited to five minutes, maximum. If the hold time is longer, for example, when we’re waiting to warm transfer them to someone else, we have to check in on them every five minutes and ask if we can put them back on hold. So it’s not as easy as “please hold” then dealing with the persistent idiot. We’re a third party support provider, so we never know when our employer client may be monitoring our calls, or if our supervisor is doing so. Often we’ll just hit the mute button, but that too is monitored. Also, I ended up speaking to this customer for 1 hour and 40 minutes. Whenever I hit the mute button to sneeze or blow my nose (just getting over a cold), he’d notice the sudden silence and stop to ask if I was still there. Yeah, I don’t want to deal with this person, and figured I wouldn’t have to anymore since his hours only overlap mine 15 hours a week (3 of which are my lunch hour and I’m not in the area) and his desk is on the other side of the area. But whaddayaknow, he has to come over and pester me. Oh hey, and the previous week a third party asked if I wanted in on ordering pizzas. I said yes and gave my money (foolishly) without asking who else was in on it. It was R. Ugh, too late to back out, already ordered. It was one of those “3 for $15” deals, but with delivery and tip, the guy who ordered expected it to come to roughly $23. Turned out that I was the only one available and ‘on lunch’ when it came. Came to $19.75 at the door and so I gave him the expected $23, or a $3.25 tip. (Hey, I’m generous, and I already knew the guy who ordered the stuff expected it to come to exactly that price.) I give R and the third guy their pizzas while they’re still on the phone, and their change - $2.50 each, since they’d both throw in $10’s. I paid the other $8. At the end of the day while I’m walking out - 15 feet from the door, R comes at me all hot and bothered. _ **"How does a $5 pizza turn into a $7.50 pizza!** _ I explain the taxes, delivery charge and tip. R rants about how he was assured it was 3 for $15 and so he shouldn’t have to pay more than $5, firmly implying that he’s being cheated. I backed up, spelled out exactly what we paid, and that I’d paid MORE than him. Angry response, like he didn’t believe it, like he still felt he was being cheated somehow. :rolleyes: I turned and walked out the door. Yup, this guy is; Mentally Retarded Clueless Inobservant An Complete and Utter Dick _But gosh, he’s so friendly with people!_ Until he gets bothered by something he can’t figure out, that everyone else grasped immediately. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/43 "2008-12-15T21:34:31Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I’ve found that shouting at people solves 95% of all the world’s problems. As soon as you getoff the phone, shout at him, loudly, in front of the whole office. Put him on the defensive. > > If he complains to your boss, accuse him of being thin-skinned. I can see that working for Israelis better than it works for Americans. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/44 "2008-12-15T21:41:28Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Yup, this guy is; > > Mentally Retarded > Clueless > Inobservant > An Complete and Utter Dick > > _But gosh, he’s so friendly with people!_ > > Until he gets bothered by something he can’t figure out, that everyone else grasped immediately. :rolleyes: This thread could pick up where The Ron Thread leaves off. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/45 "2008-12-15T21:44:06Z")
Document, document, document. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/46 "2008-12-15T21:44:53Z")
I have a good friend who was kind of like this when I first met him. He’d come up and get in my face to talk to me. At first I was put off. Then later on as I saw him more I just told him vocally and with several friends present to back off I am talking to someone else. Other people would be a little passive aggressive with this guy. I was openly assertive with him, and he backed off and we are actually good friends now. ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/47 "2008-12-15T22:25:16Z")
Hmm…a Tasering is a little over-the-top for this kind of thing. Perhaps if it happens again, keep talking to the customer, open your desk drawer, whip out the paintball gun and POP POP POP–three rounds to the chest. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/48 "2008-12-15T22:38:41Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > And when you come back to the customer, you should act all relieved that nothing was wrong after all; if the customer asks, just say, “It was nothing – Gee, you would have thought the building was burning down! ::snicker:: Now, where were we?” This tends to put you in cahoots with the customer, who will now not complain that he was put on hold. I got a complaint because i finally had to hang up on a customer one sunday when I was alone doing customer service … my reason? Fire alarm… feckless idiot didnt even get the idea that he had to shout for me to hear him over the serious decible level alarm going off next to my desk it might mean that, oh, I dont know … THE FUCKING BUILDING MIGHT BE ON FIRE… He called the next morning to complain I hung up on him. I love my boss of the time, he asked if the customer would rather I burn to death if the building had actually been on fire … ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/49 "2008-12-15T22:43:44Z")
I like the idea of a sign, but it should have his name on it so he knows it’s just for him. Something like “JD, please fuck off. Again”. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/50 "2008-12-15T22:45:40Z")
Kill the guy with kindness. Really, really thinly veiled hatred disguised as kindness. You might also try going a bit Bill Lumbergh on him: ‘Mmm, yeaaah. Could you not call over to me while I’m on the phone? That’d be greeeat. I’m going to need you to just save it for when I’m off, mmkay? Greeeat.’ Never say anything that, when repeated, could come off as incendiary. That’s how these people work. You complain and you come off sounding crazy – ‘Uh, where’s the problem? He says hello too much?’ ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/51 "2008-12-16T00:04:18Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I grabbed the paper firmly in two corners so that one long side was taunt. Then I lept out of my chair, made a slashing motion along the front/side of his neck with the paper and sat down. He was just reacting as my butt was hitting my chair. His eyes went wide. I said “Sure, it wouldn’t kill you instantly, but you’d probably bleed to death before the ambulance got here.” > [@featherlou](#): > > From your descriptions of his behaviour, he truly sounds like a mentally handicapped person. Who, **Chimera**? Sounds about right to me 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/52 "2008-12-16T00:26:12Z")
> [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > Who, **Chimera**? Sounds about right to me 🙂 Easy, there. Your smilie would indicate you’re making a joke, but it’s a pretty insulting one, and thus out of line for IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/53 "2008-12-17T02:44:36Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Easy, there. Your smilie would indicate you’re making a joke, but it’s a pretty insulting one, and thus out of line for IMHO. Wait, really? Am I allowed to do this in this thread? **Chimera** says how he showed a coworker how fast he could slash his throat, and I use **featherlou** ’s comment to tongue-in-cheekily indicate that it’s not the most mentally stable demonstration of behavior in a workplace (which is kind of what this thread’s about), and that’s out of line? I realize it’s not a warning, but I wasn’t trying to be insulting. Was it the “handicapped” part? I probably would have said “unbalanced,” myself, but **featherlou** ’s comment was right there next to it. I don’t even seriously believe that it isn’t appropriate for a workplace-- I’ve had coworkers in the past that I can joke with like that. Anyway, I’m not terribly upset or anything, more just looking to find out what you found the most insulting about my comment so I can avoid it better in the future. And if you don’t want to comment here you can PM me or I can do an ATMB thread. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/54 "2008-12-17T03:17:26Z")
> [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > Wait, really? Am I allowed to do this in this thread? **Chimera** says how he showed a coworker how fast he could slash his throat, and I use **featherlou** ’s comment to tongue-in-cheekily indicate that it’s not the most mentally stable demonstration of behavior in a workplace (which is kind of what this thread’s about), and that’s out of line? Do you know the circumstances of the demonstration? No? Then you’re making assumptions and acting on them. For the record, the demonstration was to a FRIEND (I got him the job there and even got a bonus for it) and was not in any way, shape or form a threat. It was a demonstration based on the discussion we were having at the time, which I believe was about how everything is a weapon if you know how to use it. Pens, books, etc, are obvious - you stab or bludgeon with them. But what do you do with a single sheet of paper? So again, you’re making a negative assumption here and acting on it. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/55 "2008-12-17T03:21:50Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Do you know the circumstances of the demonstration? No? Then you’re making assumptions and acting on them. > > For the record, the demonstration was to a FRIEND (I got him the job there and even got a bonus for it) and was not in any way, shape or form a threat. It was a demonstration based on the discussion we were having at the time, which I believe was about how everything is a weapon if you know how to use it. Pens, books, etc, are obvious - you stab or bludgeon with them. But what do you do with a single sheet of paper? > > So again, you’re making a negative assumption here and acting on it. Yes, hence the joke. Did you read down to where I said “I don’t even seriously believe that it isn’t appropriate for a workplace-- I’ve had coworkers in the past that I can joke with like that.” OK, I get it. You’re offended. I guess **Giraffe** read it how most people would read it. Admonition taken. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/56 "2008-12-17T03:45:00Z")
There’s a bit of heavy irony in the works here. It’s a thread about a guy - and people in general - who act in an outwardly friendly manner most of the time, but whose words contain insults, slights and even outright anger. But their jovial manner tends to buffalo normal people into thinking they’re the good guys while they work their dickery. And if they’re called on their shit, well it was all in good fun and the target is too thin skinned… So you (Bell-your-name-is-too-long) are implying that I’m mentally handicapped and saying “not the most mentally stable demonstration of behavior”, but it’s all a joke, right? So I shouldn’t take any offense at all? Am I being too thin skinned? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/57 "2008-12-17T03:56:28Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > So you (Bell-your-name-is-too-long) are implying that I’m mentally handicapped and saying “not the most mentally stable demonstration of behavior”, but it’s all a joke, right? So I shouldn’t take any offense at all? Am I being too thin skinned? > > :dubious: I didn’t think it was offensive, but you did. Apologies, in all honesty. I understand why it’s offensive, but didn’t see it that way when I wrote it because I was joking. I assume that the joke would have come across more clearly in real life, but I didn’t mean to offend. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/58 "2008-12-17T13:11:49Z")
Apology accepted. Thank you for being the first kind of person, as in this division; \*There are two kinds of people in this world; The first, if shown that they’re doing something wrong or causing harm; will apologize for their error and try not to repeat it. The second will not only deny all wrongdoing, but cast YOU as the villain for daring to accuse them. Befriend the first, distance yourself from the second.\* (attributable to me) ---
**Author:** ![Canadiangirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Canadiangirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadiangirl)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/59 "2008-12-17T13:25:36Z")
I would ignore the entire attempted conversation while you are on the phone. When you get off the phone, ask them to please not interrupt when you are on a call. If it continues, ask a supervisor for suggestions on how to help this person understand that customer conversations are important and shouldn’t be interrupted for anything less than urgent issues. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070/60 "2008-12-17T13:34:10Z")
When you’re trying to deal with the “jovial dick”, all you have to do is call them out. Explain that they’re being rude and that you nicely dropped 3 hints. The jovial facade will disappear quickly, and then you’ll be left with the unpleasant, yet simpler affair of dealing with a regular dick. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-the-jovial-dick/477070.md?page=4)