# Dealing with violent kids in my daughter's class **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 21, 2016, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244 "2016-10-21T15:15:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![slash2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@slash2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slash2k)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/41 "2016-10-24T15:12:06Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Again–can **anyone** show any evidence of a media campaign that succeeded at changing classroom management/disciplinary styles to reduce violence in an elementary school? I really really don’t think this is reasonable advice. A media campaign to change classroom management to reduce violence in an elementary school is a pretty specific topic; I don’t know how many other schools would even have this problem in the first place. A media campaign to change a school policy, though? Absolutely they can work. Here’s one example from last year: [Don’t kill the beaver in the creek by the playground](http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/mom-fights-shoreline-school-district-about-beaver-and-wins/). ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/42 "2016-10-24T15:48:13Z")
> [@slash2k](#): > > A media campaign to change classroom management to reduce violence in an elementary school is a pretty specific topic; I don’t know how many other schools would even have this problem in the first place. I’m going to guess the vast majority of elementary schools have had something similar happen in the past 20 years, and that a majority have had similar incidents in the past five years. What I’m describing is not at all a specific topic, in the sense of being rare. It’s only specific in the sense of being the suggestion I’m responding to. > [@](#): > > A media campaign to change a school policy, though? Absolutely they can work. Here’s one example from last year: [Don’t kill the beaver in the creek by the playground](http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/mom-fights-shoreline-school-district-about-beaver-and-wins/). That’s super different. The beaver lacks FERPA privacy rights or any other protection under federal law :). ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/43 "2016-10-24T15:48:28Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > One more thought: is this a relatively new teacher? If so, gentle suggestions that she might need some support in classroom management might be in line. (I’m totally unsure, though, that this is reasonable–the description of the kids’ behavior is such that short of full-on training in handling kids with behavior disorders, classroom management may not have much to do with it). No, she’s actually quite experienced. I think part of the problem is she’s teaching a 3rd/4th grade combo class. There were too many kids and not enough rooms/teachers to have both an extra 3rd and 4th grade class. I don’t think she has an assistant really either. They just don’t have the resources. Actually, I can’t remember any of my daughter’s teachers ever having a teacher’s aide, which I always remember having as a kid. Actually guess that gets us to the next question. > [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > The OP’s profile says she’s in Portland. I’m in the Portland area. My town is about an hour south of it. And it’s a small town. Only about 2000 people. I honestly don’t think the school would even be where it is financially without the vast amount of help it gets from our local tribe. Needless to say, it’s a poor district with a lot of poor families. Still waiting to hear back from the principal but it’s still early here. I’ll update when I talk to her. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/44 "2016-10-24T15:50:35Z")
> [@slash2k](#): > > A media campaign to change classroom management to reduce violence in an elementary school is a pretty specific topic; I don’t know how many other schools would even have this problem in the first place. A media campaign to change a school policy, though? Absolutely they can work. Here’s one example from last year: [Don’t kill the beaver in the creek by the playground](http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/mom-fights-shoreline-school-district-about-beaver-and-wins/). Many of them have the problem. In St. Paul, violence in classrooms is so problematic that teachers have started suing the district for not keeping them safe. Its more of a problem in middle school and high school, but its absolutely an issue in elementary school. But I think the solutions are legislative in nature. The violent kids need an education, and it generally isn’t the case that if you suspend them, they have adult supervision. There are mental health and diagnostic issues in the mix - making kicking them out discriminatory. However, schools don’t have the resources to be all things to all people. With limitless money, you’d be able to give each student the learning environment that meets their needs. Instead, many schools have to meet the needs of kids who have an entire spectrum of behaviors, abilities, and diagnosis in a single classroom. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/45 "2016-10-24T19:23:56Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > By all means, the OP can consult an attorney to discuss her options, if she’s so inclined. I’m pessimistic that a lawyer can actually be of use here, however. What legal action could a lawyer credibly threaten to bring? What’s the legal right of the OP that’s being infringed? The OP can’t enforce any rights the boys may have. If the OP’s child is not herself being bullied or harmed, I think that a court will be reluctant to take on a generalized obligation of classroom discipline. I have been dealing with a school system for 30 years. Believe me, a lawyer is a great answer. School systems have lots of responsibilities toward all their students (loco parentis and all that) AND deep pockets. They know that in court they are very likely to lose. So when a lawyer gets involved senior staff pay close attention. Solving the OPs problem sounds incredibly easy-apparently these two kids just hate each other. Separating them in different classrooms will greatly reduce/eliminate the problem. Senior staff will make that happen quickly. If not, the school board lawyer will. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/46 "2016-10-24T19:34:49Z")
There are ratios of adult to child that have to be followed. If the other classes really are full-- and if there’s a split class, then the other classes are full, it’s not as simple as moving a child. Another child will have to be moved. They’ll draw a name out of a hat, or something, but someone will be unhappy. I’m kinda surprised these boys ended up in the split class. Usually when a school has a split class they put the most mature and independent kids in it, because they have to do more work on their own than kids in single-grade classes. Maybe this school can’t do that because they have a “computer does the assigning” policy, so they don’t have a lot of parents requesting one teacher. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/47 "2016-10-24T20:01:32Z")
> [@rbroome](#): > > I have been dealing with a school system for 30 years. Believe me, a lawyer is a great answer. In what capacity have you been dealing with a school system, such that this experience qualifies you to answer the question? You’re asking me to believe you, but I don’t. What standing does the OP have? What law is the school violating? Please be specific. The suggestion that solving the problem is “incredibly easy” is very weird. You know the expression, “wherever you go, there you are”? That’s gonna apply to kids. Every year at the end of the year, I and my fellow grade-level teachers spend literally hours trying to set up classes for the next year that have the right alchemy, thinking about kids’ academic and behavioral traits, who likes whom and dislikes whom, who riles up other kids and who gets riled up easily. It’s super complicated. We do our best, and we always make mistakes. And so do the teachers at a lower grade who create classes for us. So Joe and Leroy hate each other, so you move Joe to another class. You know what? Mike is in that other class, and Mike’s mom just started dating Joe’s dad, and Joe REALLY hates Mike, you just didn’t see it before because they were in different classes. Meanwhile, the real problem from before was that Leroy’s got an aggressive streak in him from dealing with an abusive home life and too little sleep, and now that Joe’s gone, he turns his aggression onto Camille, whom he formerly paid no attention to. “Incredibly easy”? No way! ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/48 "2016-10-24T21:50:38Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > Bring a friend with you to the meeting. Introduce him as your lawyer; then he sits there through the whole time and never says anything. Just listens carefully. Might not even have to be a lawyer, just a witness. > > Even though he says nothing, just his presence will convince the Principal of your seriousness. The Principal will be on the phone to the Superintendent the minute your meeting is over. > > If the Principal refuses to meet if your attorney is present, that’s a telling sign. But it will still probably work to your advantage; emphasized to them that you are serious about this. I’m not sure lying and/or deception on the part of the OP would help her case about misbehavior. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/49 "2016-10-25T02:24:54Z")
> [@rsat3acr](#): > > I’m not sure lying and/or deception on the part of the OP would help her case about misbehavior. Yeah, I don’t get the impression Angelsoft is gonna go the Pretend Lawyer Route :). That’s the sort of trick that gets seen through pretty quickly (“Oh really? Pleased to meet you, I’m Principal Smith, and your name is…? What firm are you with?”), and when it’s seen through, the parent would have just the eensiest bit harder time being taken seriously in the future. ---
**Author:** ![slash2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@slash2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slash2k)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/50 "2016-10-25T02:31:50Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I’m going to guess the vast majority of elementary schools have had something similar happen in the past 20 years, and that a majority have had similar incidents in the past five years. What I’m describing is not at all a specific topic, in the sense of being rare. It’s only specific in the sense of being the suggestion I’m responding to. Sure, schools have problems dealing with violence. However, the schools are usually trying to do something about it; their methods and policies may not necessarily be effective, but they’re trying. I don’t see many schools choosing, as this school has apparently done, to have a policy that says we will tolerate student-on-student violence. (If the school district lacks money now, what is going to happen when one or the other, or some third party, gets hurt in all of this punching and kicking and running around out of control? Then there _will_ be one or more lawyers involved, and depending on what happens, there may even be a CPS investigation.) > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > That’s super different. The beaver lacks FERPA privacy rights or any other protection under federal law :). You asked for a cite about using media, including social media, to change school policy. It’s not about FERPA rights; it’s about a school caving to public pressure. A media campaign would not be about the two fighters anyway; it would be about the effects on the other kids having to be in a classroom and playground with those two, and about what those other kids are missing out on because the school can’t or won’t deal with the situation. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > In what capacity have you been dealing with a school system, such that this experience qualifies you to answer the question? You’re asking me to believe you, but I don’t. What standing does the OP have? What law is the school violating? Please be specific. Duty of care would be one avenue of legal intervention. In most states, schools have a legal obligation to provide a safe environment for the students in their care. If students are routinely allowed to kick and punch each other, it is reasonably foreseeable that somebody, including a bystander (such as OP’s child), ends up getting hurt. That’s on the school, and the teacher and other professionals who are aware of the situation and have not taken specific steps to mitigate. What, specifically, is the school doing to prevent this student-on-student violence from injuring OP’s child, physically and/or emotionally? (Refer again to the OP describing her child as “overly upset” by the antics.) Exposure to violence is in some states grounds to remove a child from the home. Even if the child himself is not being abused, the child having to witness domestic violence means the parents are not providing a safe environment, and sometimes CPS will place the kid in foster care, because ongoing exposure to a violent and uncertain situation is considered psychologically damaging. Compare and contrast with the situation here. Equal protection might be another avenue. The kids in other classes of the same grade level apparently get special treats and other privileges that are denied to OP’s child not because she’s doing anything wrong, but because the school can’t or won’t deal with a problem not of her making. ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/51 "2016-10-25T03:59:02Z")
So apparently the principal is at some sort of training or seminar or something until Wednesday. I guess we’ll have to wait till then. And really, I appreciate all the suggestions but I kinda agree with the fact that, while a lawyer is intimidating, I don’t think they’re breaking any laws ☹ ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/52 "2016-10-25T04:19:08Z")
Maybe no laws are being broken (that you know of) but your daughter and her classmates deserve to be educated in a safe environment. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/53 "2016-10-25T07:45:20Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Again–can **anyone** show any evidence of a media campaign that succeeded at changing classroom management/disciplinary styles to reduce violence in an elementary school? I really really don’t think this is reasonable advice. If a kid doesn’t go to school, the kid has a problem; if the whole class doesn’t go to school, the school has a problem. That seems obvious, doesn’t it? I’m not saying that it’s a perfect solution, but at least it will get you talking with someone with actual authority. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/54 "2016-10-25T10:55:51Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > If a kid doesn’t go to school, the kid has a problem; if the whole class doesn’t go to school, the school has a problem. That seems obvious, doesn’t it? I’m not saying that it’s a perfect solution, but at least it will get you talking with someone with actual authority. The strike thing is probably not workable for other reasons, but you’re reiterating the strike thing in response to my question about successful media campaigns. That’s not what I asked. > [@slash2k](#): > > Sure, schools have problems dealing with violence. However, the schools are usually trying to do something about it; their methods and policies may not necessarily be effective, but they’re trying. I don’t see many schools choosing, as this school has apparently done, to have a policy that says we will tolerate student-on-student violence. You’re positing a policy where there’s no evidence it exists. The school hasn’t moved kids from one class to another. That in no way means they’re fine with student violence. > [@](#): > > You asked for a cite about using media, including social media, to change school policy. That’s absolutely not what I asked for a cite about. > [@](#): > > Duty of care would be one avenue of legal intervention. In most states, schools have a legal obligation to provide a safe environment for the students in their care. If students are routinely allowed to kick and punch each other, it is reasonably foreseeable that somebody, including a bystander (such as OP’s child), ends up getting hurt. That’s on the school, and the teacher and other professionals who are aware of the situation and have not taken specific steps to mitigate. What, specifically, is the school doing to prevent this student-on-student violence from injuring OP’s child, physically and/or emotionally? (Refer again to the OP describing her child as “overly upset” by the antics.) > > Exposure to violence is in some states grounds to remove a child from the home. Even if the child himself is not being abused, the child having to witness domestic violence means the parents are not providing a safe environment, and sometimes CPS will place the kid in foster care, because ongoing exposure to a violent and uncertain situation is considered psychologically damaging. Compare and contrast with the situation here. > > Equal protection might be another avenue. The kids in other classes of the same grade level apparently get special treats and other privileges that are denied to OP’s child not because she’s doing anything wrong, but because the school can’t or won’t deal with a problem not of her making. These are all huge stretches. ---
**Author:** ![Kimera757](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kimera757/32/3765_2.png) [@Kimera757](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimera757)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/55 "2016-10-25T11:32:12Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > I ask why the boys haven’t been sent to separate classes since it only happens between them and am told that all the other classes are full. They can’t swap one of those kids with a kid from another class? A full classroom wouldn’t prevent such a swap. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/56 "2016-10-25T11:44:42Z")
> [@Kimera757](#): > > They can’t swap one of those kids with a kid from another class? A full classroom wouldn’t prevent such a swap. Your third grader is in a room with a bunch of kids he gets along with and a teacher he adores. Administration comes to you and says, “Yeah, another classroom is having a lot of violence in it, and we’re gonna try to fix this problem by moving your child into that room.” You’re good with this plan? This sort of swap happens really rarely. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/57 "2016-10-25T12:42:14Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > So apparently the principal is at some sort of training or seminar or something until Wednesday. I guess we’ll have to wait till then. And really, I appreciate all the suggestions but I kinda agree with the fact that, while a lawyer is intimidating, I don’t think they’re breaking any laws ☹ The idea with the attorney isn’t criminal, its civil. Its a “if my child gets hurt because you’ve ignored this issue, you will be liable, and I know that, and I’m taking steps to make sure that the courts hold you responsible.” The idea is to force the administration into action to reduce their liability. I’ve had success with this approach. When my daughter was in eighth grade, she engaged in a non-disruptive political protest at school and was put in detention for it. I didn’t get far with the administration - until I copied my attorney on a request for a meeting with the administration - quoting Tinker and using the words “violating my daughter’s civil rights.” Suddenly, the administration was tripping over themselves to do what I asked - which was just an apology and removal of the disciplinary record. (And build an awareness in the administration that the kids do still retain some free speech rights - and to think about the reaction of the parents when taking action. An eighth grader engaging in non-disruptive political protest over gay rights possibly has parents at home who model that behavior and aren’t going to let you violate their kid’s rights.) However, the situation you are in is different. There isn’t a resource light way to deal with violence in the classroom. It sounds like the district doesn’t have a lot of money or a good infrastructure to deal with issues. You need more than an apology, you need an action plan that will lower the risk of injury to the students (and teacher) and create an environment where learning is possible (it isn’t if WWIII is about to break out between two of the students). A lawyer isn’t going to solve that because the boys have a right to an education as well - which the state seems to think means that they have a right to be in the classroom even if that means no one else can learn. Without somewhere other than a mainstream classroom for kids with significant behavior issues to be - the district is stuck. ---
**Author:** ![slash2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@slash2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slash2k)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/58 "2016-10-25T15:02:06Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > You’re positing a policy where there’s no evidence it exists. The school hasn’t moved kids from one class to another. That in no way means they’re fine with student violence. The school has multiple students engaging in violence on a daily basis, upsetting the other students, and the school has apparently done nothing to protect those other students. Lack of effort to change the situation absolutely means they’re fine with the situation. (“Silence equals consent.”) It may be a policy by default, but from all evidence presented, the school’s usual and customary course of action is to do nothing. That makes it policy. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > These are all huge stretches. Why? You think schools **don’t** get sued for violating the duty of care? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/59 "2016-10-25T15:10:49Z")
> [@slash2k](#): > > The school has multiple students engaging in violence on a daily basis, upsetting the other students, and the school has apparently done nothing to protect those other students. Lack of effort to change the situation absolutely means they’re fine with the situation. (“Silence equals consent.”) It may be a policy by default, but from all evidence presented, the school’s usual and customary course of action is to do nothing. That makes it policy. “Apparently”? That’s assuming a huge amount. I’m convinced you’re 100% wrong about their efforts to address this situation. FERPA means that the school is not going to discuss its specific efforts with a parent, but that doesn’t mean the efforts don’t exist. > [@](#): > > Why? You think schools **don’t** get sued for violating the duty of care? I think they don’t successfully get sued by third parties for children fighting in elementary schools, no. In other words, not in the situation described in the OP. If you can show me some examples otherwise, I’d be very interested in seeing them. ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2016, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244/60 "2016-11-01T16:21:26Z")
Ok so, finally an update. I waited over a week for a response from the principal. Though I kept calling off and on, I finally go a hold of her yesterday. I explained what I was calling about and when she heard what class my daughter was in, she immediately knew who I was talking about. She apologized profusely for what I’d seen and said they were doing all they could to handle the situaiton. When I asked for her what that involved, she explained that there’s a process they have to go through. Pretty much warning, parent conference, in school suspension, home suspension, longer home suspension, even longer home suspension and then petition for expulsion. When I asked at what point they were at with these boys, since it had been going on pretty much since the beginning of the school year, she said she couldn’t go into details but they were about halfway. So basically what it came down to was, she understood and agreed with my concerns but they were doing all they could. It’s not really an answer I wanted but also it didn’t surprise me. I mean, I’m kinda torn. On one hand, I don’t think any kid should have to be exposed to that at school. It makes it hard for them to learn and probably doesn’t teach them anything good. But on the other, that kid is probably like that because of something going on at home. And getting him suspended or expelled is probably going to make things worse for him. I guess for now, I just wait and see how things unfold. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-violent-kids-in-my-daughters-class/769244.md?page=4)