# Dealing with your Trump supporter friends **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 17, 2019, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272 "2019-03-17T19:27:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/81 "2019-03-19T14:19:03Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > It’s almost as if I judge them on their support for the corrupt leader of a violent, white nationalist movement. Not very much like that. You said > [@madmonk28](#): > > My problem with them isn’t that they voted the wrong way; my problem with them is that they are racist, anti-intellectual, and entitled. They’re support of Trump is just a reflection of who they are and they are not the kind of people I would want as friends. You seem to be saying that it’s \*\*not \*\*that they support or voted for Trump. I don’t mean to pick on you, but I think this is a real thing. The anti-Trump side has, almost literally, never spoken _ **with** _ a Trump supporter. They can shout at them, they can tell each other how wrong they are, but they can’t hear them. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/82 "2019-03-19T14:24:45Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > The anti-Trump side has, almost literally, never spoken _ **with** _ a Trump supporter. From where did you pull this gem? Can you back this up at all with actual facts and not more blind speculation? ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/83 "2019-03-19T14:47:07Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Not very much like that. > > You said You seem to be saying that it’s \*\*not \*\*that they support or voted for Trump. I don’t mean to pick on you, but I think this is a real thing. The anti-Trump side has, almost literally, never spoken _ **with** _ a Trump supporter. They can shout at them, they can tell each other how wrong they are, but they can’t hear them. > > Regards, > Shodan I think that’s not true and this thread is specifically about people dealing with Trump supporters. I am not friends with Trump supporters because I find their world view vile and their actions destructive to society, but I do know them. In my work in Afghanistan, I got to know members of the Taliban, but they weren’t my friends. Getting to know Trumpists and the Taliban is precisely why I don’t like them. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/84 "2019-03-19T17:21:51Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > It’s remarkable the kind of insight y’all seem to have about people you don’t know, can’t talk to, and have no contact with. > > Regards, > Shodan I live in a town full of them. I know them quite well. I hear them quite well. They have been judged, and found wanting. At this point there is no excuse for still supporting Trump other than they are just as bad as he is. I would rather shitcan my “friends” than my principles. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/85 "2019-03-19T19:11:30Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I live in a town full of them. Orange County? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/86 "2019-03-19T19:25:13Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > a Trump-supporting cousin-in-law… Heh. I just noticed on his FB page that he’s retired from the USDA. So, yeah. He made a career out of socialism, and now socialism is paying him in his retirement. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/87 "2019-03-19T19:57:11Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Not very much like that. > > You said You seem to be saying that it’s \*\*not \*\*that they support or voted for Trump. I don’t mean to pick on you, but I think this is a real thing. The anti-Trump side has, almost literally, never spoken _ **with** _ a Trump supporter. They can shout at them, they can tell each other how wrong they are, but they can’t hear them. > > Regards, > Shodan I’ve never spoken with the members of my own family who support Trump? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/88 "2019-03-19T19:57:56Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Orange County? 909, not 714. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/89 "2019-03-19T20:00:27Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > I must say these anecdotal stats don’t look good for the next election. well he got 3 million less votes then Clinton in the last election and still won. I am nowhere near as optimistic as you are. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/90 "2019-03-19T20:02:03Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > 909, not 714. 😃 The Nine-Oh-Nine! That’s even worse than behind the Orange Curtain! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/91 "2019-03-19T21:56:54Z")
Orange County at least wised up and voted out all their scumbags Republican reps. I’m still stuck with the likes of Paul Cook, who makes Devin Nunes look _smart_. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/92 "2019-03-19T22:07:58Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Orange County at least wised up and voted out all their scumbags Republican reps. I’m still stuck with the likes of Paul Cook, who makes Devin Nunes look _smart_. Yep. They’ve lightened up a lot since I left L.A. I remember one morning on the 22, a guy in a Mustang was offended by my BUCK FUSH bumper sticker. He gesticulated wildly at me, and was shouting something I obviously couldn’t hear. I thought his head was going to explode. So I smiled and blew him a kiss. ---
**Author:** ![Arcite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/67e7ee/32.png) [@Arcite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arcite)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2019, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/93 "2019-03-20T00:08:01Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > My family is either Trump supporter or Trump apologist. Even the ones that don’t like Trump think he’s a good deal better than those “Demon rats.” > > I avoid talking any politics around family, and whenever they bring them up, I stand up from whatever it is that we are doing, and leave without a word. I used to let them bait me into getting into arguments with them, but I found that they enjoyed ganging up on me more than I enjoyed being ganged up on. > > Since I started that tacic, they are a bit less inclined to start things, and we’ve actually had a couple of pleasant holidays, even if I can see that there are a couple of things that my parents really want to say. > > While I live in Trumplandia, I don’t have any MAGA friends. All of them dumped me as a friend in 2012 over the Obama sign in my yard. I do have some Trump supporting acquaintances, but the way to keep acquaintances is to not discuss religion or politics. They will never really be friends as I have to censor myself around them too much to really be comfortable and relaxed. > [@Aspenglow](#): > > My parents, especially my father, have been co-opted by Fox “News.” This is terrifically painful to me. Our visits have become fraught with political landmines. It’s so bad, most subjects are off limits. Can’t even talk about the weather: Climate change is sure to come up. > > However, we love each other and so manage to avoid these discussions. The universal rule during visits is that the tee vee remains OFF, except to watch something we all agree on. So we watch a lot of Jeopardy (something I only do with them) and indulge in common interests such as perfecting the family chili verde recipe. I cook for them a lot, try to do things for them around their home they are unable to do for themselves nowadays. When they visit here, I take them for driving excursions to places they want to see. That’s how we get through it. We talk about nothing of substance. > > I do not reject their views due to intolerance. I reject their views because they are not grounded in factual information. > > I can respect that we may have differing values. I can’t accept their conclusions, which are based on propaganda and a complete lack of evidence. This is easy enough to prove to someone who is open to having an honest debate. My parents are not. It makes me very sad. > [@madmonk28](#): > > Look at the accommodations people describe in this thread for Trump supporters: making sure Fox isn’t on so that they don’t get over-stimulated, avoiding certain topics so they don’t have a tantrum, and putting up with bad behavior just to keep the peace. Who else gets treated this way? Children that’s who. If I have to treat an adult like he’s a child just so they don’t have a meltdown, I don’t need that relationship. > [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > I _try_ to have a 'no discussing politics at the dinner table" policy. > > It doesn’t really work that well, because _certain people_ _love_ talking about politics and think I should grow a thicker skin, and any topic, no matter how innocuous, has six degrees of separation from politics anyway\*. > > When my father has friends or my grandmother over, I go into the basement and shut the door. Because between the house acoustics and their loud voices, it’s the only place in the house I can not overhear them. > > \*“political”, by _certain people_’s standards, includes acknowledging the existence of LGBT people, so that’s usually where the fight breaks out. I find posts like these very interesting. I haven’t spoken to my own father in two and a half years, largely because of his complete inability to do anything other than explode into a left-wing tirade the moment a single word on the most innocuous of subjects comes out of another person’s mouth. Right down to the idea that you can’t even mention the weather because he will immediately start angrily ranting about climate change. He’s incapable of having a normal conversation. No matter what you say, within 30 seconds he’s stamping his foot and shouting about how Congress is bought and paid for by corporate lobbyists who pull the strings to lower taxes on the rich so they can get even richer. The typical SDMBer seems to think the typical Fox News viewer is like a child stuck in a perpetual tantrum over how brown-skinned transgenders are taking over America or something. But my father is like a child stuck in a perpetual tantrum over how the rich don’t pay more in taxes. Also, since many of you think only right-wingers get their facts wrong, there have been many times my father–who is as devoted to MSNBC and [Salon.com](http://Salon.com) as your reviled relatives are to Fox News–has berated and harangued everyone within earshot about how the Republicans in Congress just voted for some horrific bill that will increase gun sales, or some Republican state government just decided to allow some private corporation to commit some environmental atrocity, or something like that. And I’ve said nothing because I have no absolute proof that he’s wrong, but have then gone home and furiously Googled every possible combination and permutation of words I could think of to find some news article referencing what he was talking about… and found absolutely nothing. When I do talk to my father again, I know I will have to use k9bfriender’s tactic of simply standing up and walking away. He doesn’t respond to any insistence that we just not talk about politics. That lasts about 5 minutes. I have to wonder how many of the liberals who complain about Fox-News-ranting relatives may be the same way, but not see it, because they don’t see their ranting as ranting, they see it as the rational expression of fact-based views. Admit it–when some of you read my above reference to my father “stamping his foot and shouting about how Congress is bought and paid for by corporate lobbyists who pull the strings to lower taxes on the rich so they can get even richer,” did you not think “well, what’s wrong with that? Congress _is_ bought and paid for by corporate lobbyists who pull the strings to lower taxes on the rich so they can get even richer!” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2019, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/94 "2019-03-20T01:11:43Z")
Son, you’ve grown! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2019, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/95 "2019-03-20T03:23:19Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > It’s remarkable the kind of insight y’all seem to have about people you don’t know, can’t talk to, and have no contact with. No, what’s remarkable is how little you think through your snark anymore. Every single one of the posts you quoted requires them to have interacted with a Trump supporter in the past. Snark is _still_ not a substitute for an actual argument. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2019, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/96 "2019-03-20T04:19:35Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > The anti-Trump side has, almost literally, never spoken _ **with** _ a Trump supporter. They can shout at them, they can tell each other how wrong they are, but they can’t hear them. Yeah, yeah, this is the same thing as the other post, just without the snark. So it has the same issue: we have to have spoken with them to know what we know about them. There are Trump supporters on this board, even. But I also have to note the irony. You accuse us of not hearing them, but here you are, not hearing us. Rather than read what the posts say, you come up with your own assumptions about how we must be. Nearly every post in this thread contradicts your assumption about us. Some even specifically address talking to the Trump supporters they are talking about. And I do note the tactic of implying we’re wrong, without actually saying that any part is actually wrong. Not just no evidence, but no actual claim, either. You do not contradict a single poster in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2019, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/97 "2019-03-20T04:54:27Z")
The people I socialize with don’t talk politics, and if discussion about current events heads in that direction, we do our best to make sure it stays discreet. There are some people on Facebook with me who are rabidly pro-Dumpster (one of them recently posted a picture of her newborn son in a “Trump 2020” onesie, and some people praised them for “starting him off right” - UGH) and I have unfriended a few people and likewise, they me for dissenting political views. WTH, it’s a free country. I am also currently cat-sitting for a FOAF who thinks he’s great. I like her, but I refuse to discuss politics with her. I don’t mind if someone respects or supports him as POTUS, but the ones who totally worship the guy are another story. ---
**Author:** ![HurricaneDitka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/96bed5/32.png) [@HurricaneDitka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HurricaneDitka)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2019, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/98 "2019-03-20T06:07:26Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > The people I socialize with don’t talk politics, and if discussion about current events heads in that direction, we do our best to make sure it stays discreet. > > There are some people on Facebook with me who are rabidly pro-Dumpster (one of them recently posted a picture of her newborn son in a “Trump 2020” onesie, and some people praised them for “starting him off right” - UGH) and I have unfriended a few people and likewise, they me for dissenting political views. WTH, it’s a free country. I am also currently cat-sitting for a FOAF who thinks he’s great. I like her, but I refuse to discuss politics with her. > > I don’t mind if someone respects or supports him as POTUS, but the ones who totally worship the guy are another story. I thoroughly appreciate the attitude expressed in this post. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2019, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/99 "2019-03-20T07:08:11Z")
To me it is the casual cruelty and lack of empathy. I hate having a conversation that basically goes; Republican: “The world sucks and it sucks to be them.” Me: “So we shouldn’t do anything to help our own people? We’re the richest, most powerful nation on Earth. People shouldn’t starve/lack healthcare here.” Republican: “Nope, fuck them. I pay for my own shit, they can pay for theirs. Nobody deserves free stuff!” Or the ever popular: “I can say whatever I want and you just have to get over it.” :rolleyes: So who the fuck asked for your racist/sexist/insulting rant while we’re enjoying lunch/hanging out/working? You can just get the fuck over your problem with me not wanting to hear it. Because I don’t. And I get to say that. Every. Damned. Time. If that bothers you and makes you angry, then perhaps you should shut your fool mouth and stop saying those things in my company, _snowflake_. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2019, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272/100 "2019-03-23T15:17:54Z")
> [@johnod](#): > > I think Trump is a complete wanker. > That said, the fact that you can’t along with anyone who doesn’t share your opinion about something as fleeting as a politician is telling. Oh. what does it tell you ? That I’m overly concerned ? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dealing-with-your-trump-supporter-friends/831272.md?page=6)