# Dear Abby: Do You Have ANY Common Sense? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 29, 2011, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317 "2011-06-29T21:44:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/1 "2011-06-29T21:44:22Z")
To see what I’m getting at, read today’s column, which is purportedly written by a teenage delinquent who’s now doing life in prison: > **[Dear Abby - Life Advice](https://www.uexpress.com/life/dearabby)** > > Written by Abigail Van Buren (also known as Jeanne Phillips), Dear Abby is the most widely syndicated columnist in the world, delivering sound, compassionate advice every day. Does ANYTHING is that letter sound remotely plausible? Does ANYTHING in that letter sound like it was written by a 16 year old “gang banger”? Even “Go Ask Alice” was more plausible than this! But I have a hunch Abby will be asked to reprint this every few months, just like the classic “Please God, I’m Only 17!” ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/2 "2011-06-29T21:59:28Z")
Hmm, Abby’s daughter is the new Abby, huh? You think it’s fake just because the 16 year-old writes like a middle-aged white woman would think a “gangbanger” sounds like? Well, you may have a point. I’m still trying to understand how helping a “homeboy” from getting hurts ends up with four consecutive life sentences. I’m just not following the chain of events there. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/3 "2011-06-29T22:06:17Z")
That’s what struck me too, aside from the fact that it’s sounds nothing close to how a real street kid would talk (or write). Who the hell says “homeboy” anymore? ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/4 "2011-06-29T22:07:37Z")
Why in the fuck are you reading Dear Abby? ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/5 "2011-06-29T22:20:44Z")
But the writer says “That ain’t no joke!” which is clearly the sign of a long-time banger. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/6 "2011-06-29T22:22:35Z")
She should get David Simon the next time she needs help running a letter “written” by a “homeboy”. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/7 "2011-06-29T22:23:10Z")
My sincerest apologies to the OP. I’m having a bad day and I thought this was The Pit. Sorry again. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/8 "2011-06-29T22:26:05Z")
OTOH, every teen gang banger who reads Dear Abby on a regular basis is undoubtedly well aware of the pitfalls involved in helping out a homeboy. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/9 "2011-06-29T22:54:59Z")
Like mother, like daughter. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/10 "2011-06-29T22:57:18Z")
I’m more impressed that the guy found a 92 penny on the ground - and that he’ll always remember his times with his special friend thanks to it. ---
**Author:** ![iftheresaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecae2f/32.png) [@iftheresaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iftheresaway)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/11 "2011-06-29T23:00:34Z")
I don’t read Dear Abby very often - is there a point where she gives advice? Or is this more like “Chicken Soup for the Soul”? Frankly, neither one of those letters seemed to even approach reality. ---
**Author:** ![Cort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/77aa72/32.png) [@Cort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cort)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/12 "2011-06-29T23:06:33Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > My sincerest apologies to the OP. I’m having a bad day and I thought this was The Pit. Sorry again. But it’s a valid question 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/13 "2011-06-29T23:11:01Z")
I know why I occasionally read her: she’s good for a laugh. And it’s fun to see if she’s yet caught up with modern times. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/14 "2011-06-29T23:16:06Z")
He even referred to himself as a “gangbanger.” Come on now. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/15 "2011-06-29T23:24:30Z")
I thought the letter looked suspiciously well-written to be from a gang member, but I suppose we shouldn’t judge; perhaps he’s been getting grammar lessons in prison. On the other hand, I wonder if the letter was postmarked from New Haven? ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/16 "2011-06-30T00:02:00Z")
Bwahaha! I’m glad someone started a thread about this. It cracked me up this morning. I totally thought Abby was going to call the letter a fake, but she went out of her way to insist it was real. I love it when advice columnists get hoodwinked. I also love it when they just give plain bad advice, as Amy Dickinson is wont to do: [http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/tribu/askamy/ct-live-0617-amy-20110617,0,136732.column](http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/tribu/askamy/ct-live-0617-amy-20110617,0,136732.column) ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/17 "2011-06-30T00:09:49Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > My sincerest apologies to the OP. I’m having a bad day and I thought this was The Pit. Sorry again. I thought what you said was a joke. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/18 "2011-06-30T00:13:19Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > On the other hand, I wonder if the letter was postmarked from New Haven? Do they still try that? Way back when it made me want to go to Yale. ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/19 "2011-06-30T00:19:33Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Who the hell says “homeboy” anymore? That’s what I was wondering. A real sixteen year old would know that, since kids stopped calling their friends “homeboy” before today’s sixteen year olds were even born. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317/20 "2011-06-30T01:24:58Z")
> [@Omega\_Glory](#): > > That’s what I was wondering. A real sixteen year old would know that, since kids stopped calling their friends “homeboy” before today’s sixteen year olds were even born. Where I’m from, we still use it all the time. It is literally just another word for friend. I normally wouldn’t use it directly at you unless it was tinged with some irony, “Wassup, homeboy, playa, gangsta?”, but I would more seriously use it to refer to your friend, “Omega, where’s your homeboy with the blue car at?” Or my friend, “Oh, Omega? That’s my homeboy.” I think that folks who think that letter’s grammar is too good to be written by a lil’ thug are way off the mark. I know plenty of little thugs that master the English language and can write the hell out of a prison letter! And for those wondering how a gangbanger would end up with life sentences for helping a friend, I would guess, shooting that friend’s enemies. Still, that letter is clearly FAKE FAKE FAKE. I used to read Dear Abby and Ann Landers as a kid. They’ve never been great advice givers, instead preferring to constantly advise councelling. I have always loved Miss Manners column though. And Hints by Helouis! Man, I kind of miss newspapers. I do remember one bit of advice Dear Abby gave when I was a kid that was good and has stuck with me. If someone asks something that is none of their business, you just muster up your courage, look them in the eye and say, “Why do you need to know?” Stops them in their tracks most times. But again…that letter…fake. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-abby-do-you-have-any-common-sense/587317.md?page=2)