# "Dear Advice Columnist: I'm divorcing my porn-loving husband." **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 5, 2006, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118 "2006-03-05T07:36:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/21 "2006-03-05T08:27:12Z")
For a man so dedicated to his sausage creature that he named himself after it, you certainly are _shockingly_ prudish. > [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > I wonder why your wife is so unhappy too, Aeschines, and why you’re so bothered about it that you open a Pit thread on the topic. Actually, my own wife doesn’t care much about that kind of thing, nor is she jealous or a control freak. It’s a great thing about our relationship. I was stimulated to write this thread, in fact, by seeing just such a stupid column the other day. And I see other stupid advice columns all the time that assume that monogomy is a given and anyone who violates our society’s straight-laced, uptight, Judeo-Christian version of monogamy is bad, bad, bad. > [@](#): > > You sound like a very angry person and probably in need of counseling (I’m not basing that on your porn use, I’m basing that on your attitude here.) And you sound like a sactimonious, annoying fuck, but I wouldn’t recommend counseling for you. Because counseling does dick. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/22 "2006-03-05T08:32:03Z")
> [@FlyingCowOfDoom](#): > > (In my experience, most nice women don’t care for porn and they like even less a guy who is obsessed with it) How odd. Interesting sample you bring to the table. > [@FlyingCowOfDoom](#): > > I wasn’t “banging heat” at the time, but I did have a respect for women and I don’t think it’s right to objectify them. Objectify. People use that word often, I’m not quite sure what it’s supposed to mean. What, exactly, does the objectification of someone entail, and how does that connect to porn as opposed to, say, athletics. > [@FlyingCowOfDoom](#): > > Also, I think it’s kinda sick to look at sexual images of women to whom I have no emotional attachment. Just curious, but is that personal for you or how you view others as well? Is it, for instance, ‘sick’ for men (or women) to enjoy looking at sexual images of people who they don’t have an emotional attatchment to? > [@FlyingCowOfDoom](#): > > In other words, women are not sex toys, they’re people. Are the two mutually exclusive? One of _Finn’s Fundamental Findings_ is that some-but-not-all women, no matter how strong and capable and independant, would very much like to be thrown down on the floor, or a bed, or bent over the arm of a couch and just fucked silly. Sometimes it’s all about the sex and the heat, and to hell with anything and everything else. But, of course, that’s not for all people. So I’m just sorta curious as to whether you’re couching your aesthetic tastes as personal only or how you believe others should act as well? > [@FlyingCowOfDoom](#): > > I don’t care if they’re voluntarily exposing themselves; I still think it’s disgusting. So women who choose to be involved in sexual exhibitionism are wrong to do so and are disgusting? Or just the people who enjoy seeing what they enjoy showing? In conclusion, I will leave you with a link to a [search.](http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=the+internet+is+for+porn&ei=UTF-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&fr=moz2) The song is most likely not worksafe, but probably wouldn’t get anybody in trouble… still, I’m linking to a yahoo-video search for it, Just click the first link if you think you’d be fine watching the video where you are. Yeep. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/23 "2006-03-05T08:33:57Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > For a man so dedicated to his sausage creature that he named himself after it, you certainly are _shockingly_ prudish. I’m a woman. > [@](#): > > Actually, my own wife doesn’t care much about that kind of thing, nor is she jealous or a control freak. It’s a great thing about our relationship. If that’s the case, then great for you. But I wonder why this “column” touched such a nerve with you. > [@](#): > > And you sound like a sactimonious, annoying fuck, but I wouldn’t recommend counseling for you. So I was right about that Hawt thing, right? ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/24 "2006-03-05T08:36:19Z")
Also, I’m not prudish. I just wonder what crawled up your ass and died. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/25 "2006-03-05T08:39:01Z")
Even Dr. Laura said it was ok for a man to have a few nudie magazines. I think there’s a big difference between a few porno movies and some magazines and full blown obsession. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/26 "2006-03-05T08:41:57Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > I’m a woman. Oh, haw haw haw haw! That explains _every_thing. You could have saved us both a bunch of time by simply stating that in your first post! > [@](#): > > But I wonder why this “column” touched such a nerve with you. Didn’t, really, just saw it, marvelled at the stupidity of it, and thought it would make a good Pit thread. > [@](#): > > So I was right about that Hawt thing, right? I don’t know what that is. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/27 "2006-03-05T08:43:03Z")
_So grab your dick and double-click for porn, porn, porn._[The Internet is for Porn](http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/internet4porn). ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/28 "2006-03-05T08:44:12Z")
Oh I see, **Sausage** , you were asking whether I’m hot or not, right? I don’t see the relevance, but yes, I am. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/29 "2006-03-05T08:45:55Z")
“Objectifaction” of a woman means that a man has aching balls and his tongue is hanging out and he wants to bang a broad instead of “supporting” and/or “respecting” her. It’s a horrible thing! ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/30 "2006-03-05T08:48:09Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > _So grab your dick and double-click for porn, porn, porn._[The Internet is for Porn](http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/internet4porn). [I win the Internet!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7165381&postcount=22) Fear me. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/31 "2006-03-05T08:53:07Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > Oh, haw haw haw haw! That explains _every_thing. You could have saved us both a bunch of time by simply stating that in your first post!. 'Cause then you’d know right away that my opinion is invalid and to skip my post, right? > [@](#): > > I don’t see the relevance, but yes, I am. I’ll take your word for that. I asked because, IME, the men that yell the loudest about his wife being a fat cow etc. are usually tubbos, themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/32 "2006-03-05T09:00:52Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > 'Cause then you’d know right away that my opinion is invalid and to skip my post, right? No, you’re missing the point: A lot more guys are into porn than women. Contrariwise, very few men think porn is “bad.” Quite a few women think porn is bad. FWIW, I’m not myself really into porn. But the key fact that the advice columns are missing is that most men (including myself) don’t find the whole porn category to be bad, and most men, at least now and then, jack off to porn of some type. That’s true now, it will be true 250 years from now. > [@](#): > > I’ll take your word for that. I asked because, IME, the men that yell the loudest about his wife being a fat cow etc. are usually tubbos, themselves. That may well be the case. But the hypocrisy of it doesn’t in any way aleviate their pain at having no access to a sexually attractive partner. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/33 "2006-03-05T09:03:36Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > No, you’re missing the point: A lot more guys are into porn than women. Contrariwise, very few men think porn is “bad.” Quite a few women think porn is bad. I don’t. > [@](#): > > FWIW, I’m not myself really into porn. But the key fact that the advice columns are missing is that most men (including myself) don’t find the whole porn category to be bad, and most men, at least now and then, jack off to porn of some type. That’s true now, it will be true 250 years from now. Agreed. > [@](#): > > That may well be the case. But the hypocrisy of it doesn’t in any way aleviate their pain at having no access to a sexually attractive partner. So, the women involved here aren’t suffering? ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/34 "2006-03-05T09:07:38Z")
There’s nothing wrong with porn, as long as it doesn’t become some kind of obsession. I sure hope the 100 gigs of it on my computer doesn’t count as an obsession. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![cckerberos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@cckerberos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cckerberos)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/35 "2006-03-05T09:10:33Z")
> [@Who\_me?](#): > > I sure hope the 100 gigs of it on my computer doesn’t count as an obsession. 😉 Not even close. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/36 "2006-03-05T09:14:41Z")
> [@](#): > > A lot more guys are into porn than women. So, they prefer porn to real, breathing ladies? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/37 "2006-03-05T09:18:08Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > So, the women involved here aren’t suffering? Women suffer horribly from what men do. Men in general are godawful swine. But the willful naivete of women in our society regarding the nature of male sexuality hurts men and themselves at the same time. Put simply, here’s our problem: Men are pigs, and women pretend that they aren’t until they can pretend no longer. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/38 "2006-03-05T09:22:35Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > Women suffer horribly from what men do. Men in general are godawful swine. > > But the willful naivete of women in our society regarding the nature of male sexuality hurts men and themselves at the same time. > > Put simply, here’s our problem: Men are pigs, and women pretend that they aren’t until they can pretend no longer. Oh yeah, preach it sister!! Come the revolution, all men will be castratos. YEAH!! Oh, what? Oh, fuck… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/39 "2006-03-05T09:24:06Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > Women suffer horribly from what men do. Men in general are godawful swine. > > But the willful naivete of women in our society regarding the nature of male sexuality hurts men and themselves at the same time. > > Put simply, here’s our problem: Men are pigs, and women pretend that they aren’t until they can pretend no longer. Awww…somebody’s got a case of the Mondays! ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118/40 "2006-03-05T09:32:05Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > But the willful naivete of women in our society regarding the nature of male sexuality hurts men and themselves at the same time. The same could be said for the naivete of many men towards female sexuality. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go slip into my starched nightgown and go through the Nightly Scouring of my House for my Husband’s Porn, The Joint Recital of the Monogamy Doctrine and the Nightly Scrotal Rubber Band Check. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-advice-columnist-im-divorcing-my-porn-loving-husband/347118.md?page=3)