# Dear Annie: You Suck **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 29, 2005, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224 "2005-01-29T02:10:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/1 "2005-01-29T02:10:15Z")
I think this is the replacement for Ann Landers, and I just have to pit the second letter down. For those coming in late, it’s the column for January 26. [Link.](http://www.creators.com/lifestyle_show.cfm?columnsName=ama) This woman shreds her husband’s prescription, and all you can say is go back to the doctor? Hello, anyone home? What if she had shredded a prescription for heart medication, or if he had torn up his wife’s script for hormone replacement? He has a prescription to treat a legitimate medical condition, and his wife calls him a dirty old man and tears it up? Do you think this should have raised warning flags that there was something wrong in the marriage? That what his wife did might be considered somewhat abusive? You completely missed the point on this one, Dear Annie. I doubt Ann Landers would have missed it. Yeesh. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/2 "2005-01-29T02:16:42Z")
I’m more shocked at the first one. Now we atheists have to come to every holiday, or none? We can’t attempt to compromise and come to the non-religious ones, so we can still see our family? “Annie” gave the right answer, but the woman deserved more of a scolding. And I’m not sure what the deal is with sex - why picking up a prescription for Viagra makes one a dirty old man. People are weird. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/3 "2005-01-29T02:28:26Z")
Yeah, I thought the first one was a tempest in a teapot, myself. I’m thinking, “Jeez, lady, get over yourself.” It sounded like she went out of her way to antagonize her SIL. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/4 "2005-01-29T02:29:36Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I’m more shocked at the first one. Now we atheists have to come to every holiday, or none? We can’t attempt to compromise and come to the non-religious ones, so we can still see our family? I dunno, I see the letter writer’s point. It sounds like the atheist is trying to have her cake and eat it, too. She doesn’t want to go to the baptism ceremony itself, but makes sure she shows up to the luncheon afterwards for a free meal and some socializing? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/5 "2005-01-29T02:38:27Z")
> [@Neurotik](#): > > I dunno, I see the letter writer’s point. It sounds like the atheist is trying to have her cake and eat it, too. She doesn’t want to go to the baptism ceremony itself, but makes sure she shows up to the luncheon afterwards for a free meal and some socializing? :dubious: Well, tell me what’s wrong with that? I don’t believe in baptism, I’d probably go, but even if I didn’t, now I should be barred from the social part? I’d like to come and give my best wishes too. Really, what’s so wrong with it? ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/6 "2005-01-29T02:46:32Z")
I thought this was my first pitting! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/7 "2005-01-29T02:50:38Z")
Dammit, I just _knew_ there would be an **Annie** around here somewhere. :smack: Sorry, **Annie**. Better luck next time. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/8 "2005-01-29T02:59:22Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Well, tell me what’s wrong with that? I don’t believe in baptism, I’d probably go, but even if I didn’t, now I should be barred from the social part? I’d like to come and give my best wishes too. > > Really, what’s so wrong with it? What’s wrong with it? You really don’t see what’s wrong with it? Frankly, if you did something like that, I wouldn’t believe you that you want to come and give your best wishes. It would look quite clearly to me that you don’t actually give a shit about the special day for the kid, since you didn’t care to actually attend the actual event yourself, you just wanted some free food and a nice party. It’s like being invited to a wedding, saying, I don’t want to go to the actual wedding itself because I think marriage is an outdated institution that I don’t believe in and I don’t want to look like a hypocrite by going. Oh, but be sure to save me a seat at the reception because I want to party. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/9 "2005-01-29T03:07:01Z")
Actually, that is exactly what a couple whom I count among my closest friends did for my wedding. They are atheists, I married in a church. They asked me whether I would prefer them to come to the reception but not the service, or if I would prefer them not to attend at all. To me the answer was obvious, but I thought them askign me was very polite. Their attendance at the reception was not just to go to a free party, it was to celebrate my wedding. And to be honest, I did not notice who was in the church and who wasn’t, as my mind was on other things. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/10 "2005-01-29T03:08:12Z")
That was very subtle sarcasm, right? Because…that’s just a fucked up attitude there. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/11 "2005-01-29T03:09:19Z")
Um, folks? Could we get back to pitting Letter 2? Or is ripping up your husband’s prescription and calling him a dirty old man acceptable behavior for a wife of 45 years? Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/12 "2005-01-29T03:09:24Z")
That post was directed at Neurotik, not villa, who hadn’t yet posted when I did. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/13 "2005-01-29T03:11:07Z")
Thanks. I was feeling a little concerned for a moment there. ---
**Author:** ![Cerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/14 "2005-01-29T03:11:52Z")
My ex-husband was Irish Catholic, I’m agnostic and have my own issues with the concept of Original Sin, and baptism. It was however, very important to my ex that our daughter be baptised. So, we compromised. I attended her baptism, but did not participate in the ceremony. My mother’s best friend, who also chosen to be our daughter’s godmother, took my place in the ceremony, and I sat in the front row and took pictures. My ex-in-laws had a bit of a problem with it (to which I said too damn bad), but no one else did, including the priest (who was actually a pretty cool guy, and very understanding). ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/15 "2005-01-29T03:13:35Z")
> [@villa](#): > > Actually, that is exactly what a couple whom I count among my closest friends did for my wedding. They are atheists, I married in a church. They asked me whether I would prefer them to come to the reception but not the service, or if I would prefer them not to attend at all. To me the answer was obvious, but I thought them askign me was very polite. I think that attitude is rude, and I’m speaking as an atheist here. If two of my close friends asked me that, the answer would also be obvious, and I’d come to the same conclusion as you did. I would appreciate the courtesy of asking me ahead of time, as well. I’d still be minorly annoyed. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/16 "2005-01-29T03:16:42Z")
The response to Letter #2 was…misguided. This couple, after 45 years of marriage, has some serious communication issues. He doesn’t know that she doesn’t want to have sex with him anymore? She doesn’t know that he does? Do these people talk at all? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/17 "2005-01-29T03:19:30Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Um, folks? > > Could we get back to pitting Letter 2? Apparently not. I think the prescription up-ripping is just a symptom of deeper relationship issues. And as a prescriber I would not place the destruction of a viagra scrip on the same level as destruction of a scrip for meds like digoxin, or beta-blockers, or coumadin, whose purpose is to maintain health. The former is a definite problem for the couple, but the latter is _dangerous_. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/18 "2005-01-29T03:19:55Z")
So, what, after 45 years of marriage, that’s it? You stop having sex? Her husband went to a doctor so he could still have sex, and she ripped up the prescription and called him a dirty old man. Kind of makes you wonder what the previous 44 years were like, doesn’t it? Or, if you can’t have sex, wanting to have sex makes you a pervert? I feel so sorry for that poor man. And Dear Annie was less than helpful. Just because you’re a senior citizen doesn’t mean the romance is over. What’s that saying? “What we used to do all night now takes us all night to do?” ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/19 "2005-01-29T03:21:47Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > I think the prescription up-ripping is just a symptom of deeper relationship issues. And as a prescriber I would not place the destruction of a viagra scrip on the same level as destruction of a scrip for meds like digoxin, or beta-blockers, or coumadin, whose purpose is to maintain health. The former is a definite problem for the couple, but the latter is _dangerous_. Okay, Doctor, what do you say to the husband who walks in and says, “My wife called me a pervert and ripped up my prescription for Viagra?” Do you suggest counseling? Do you call the wife in and ask her what her problem is? I’m just appalled that the wife would treat her husband that way. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224/20 "2005-01-29T03:31:52Z")
> [@villa](#): > > Actually, that is exactly what a couple whom I count among my closest friends did for my wedding. They are atheists, I married in a church. They asked me whether I would prefer them to come to the reception but not the service, or if I would prefer them not to attend at all. Were they under the impression that they would burst into flames if they set foot in a church? I mean really, that is a little much. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-annie-you-suck/287224.md?page=2)