# Dear Attractive Married Women: Plz Wear A Ring. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 17, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336 "2012-11-17T19:13:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/341 "2012-11-25T23:36:37Z")
> [@Modern\_Master](#): > > Weird, because as a man, I disagree with her 110%. Really? You think really wanting something obligates people to provide it to you? You think your social issues are someone else’s problem? What, specifically, do you object to? I swear to Jim Beam I’m not even being snide. I really want to know what about that post you disagree with 110%? ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/342 "2012-11-25T23:41:12Z")
> [@Modern\_Master](#): > > Weird, because as a man, I disagree with her 110%. I’m a man and I completely agree with her. Humans barely have the time and ability to mentally and emotionally support those they want to support, much less random people. If you can’t be responsible for your own emotional well-being, you have no business trying to get in a relationship and others, regardless of gender, have no obligation to put themselves in that situation. ---
**Author:** ![Modern\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@Modern\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Modern_Master)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/343 "2012-11-25T23:43:50Z")
Some people are just better off being single. If you’re really that bitter than you need to stay single because it will benefit everyone involved. > [@Bosstone](#): > > I’m a man and I completely agree with her. > > Humans barely have the time and ability to mentally and emotionally support those they want to support, much less random people. If you can’t be responsible for your own emotional well-being, you have no business trying to get in a relationship and others, regardless of gender, have no obligation to put themselves in that situation. And that’s fine if you feel that way. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/344 "2012-11-25T23:51:52Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Humans barely have the time and ability to mentally and emotionally support those they want to support, much less random people. If you can’t be responsible for your own emotional well-being, you have no business trying to get in a relationship and others, regardless of gender, have no obligation to put themselves in that situation. > [@Modern\_Master](#): > > Some people are just better off being single. I couldn’t agree more with both of these. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/345 "2012-11-26T00:18:06Z")
BOOBIES!!! Just thought the thread could use a random non-sequitur. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/346 "2012-11-26T00:41:37Z")
> [@Modern\_Master](#): > > Some people are just better off being single. > > If you’re really that bitter than you need to stay single because it will benefit everyone involved. This is true, but what in the shit balls does this have to do with anything? Unless I’m missing something, someone said no one needs to cater to your shyness or social anxiety issues; that’s your problem so you need to deal with it. The generic you, that is. And then you (like, actually you) said you disagreed without explaining why, and then you gave us this. Dude, whatever. We can all concur some people need to just hush it and stay alone, but you still never explained what your beef was with it being no one’s job to make your dating life easier. Here’s what I think, in case anyone gives a shit and a half. With regard to the OP, everyone who acts like he’s King Sexual Predator needs to relax. A lot. Next up, sure, it would be nice if people who were taken could subtly make it known (if not wearing a ring) that they’re unavailable to men who show interest, not because it’s the law that women everywhere tattoo VAGINA OCCUPIED on their faces, but because gently letting a guy know she’s not free is a nice thing to do that can avoid socially awkward situations. Lastly, if you are timid in the dating world, that’s unfortunate and I honestly do feel for people who are shy, but it’s not my job to accommodate your social anxiety. It just isn’t, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/347 "2012-11-26T00:52:51Z")
Pro tip: An easy way to get a hint about relationship status during small talk is to ask what neighborhood someone lives in. If she’s taken, she’ll likely say something along the lines of “My fiancé and I just bought a condo downtown” or “Gah, I live way up across town and my boyfriend lives out here, so I’m always commuting back and forth.” If she’s single and interested, you’ll get something like “Oh, I rent a room from an old lady up north, but I have a separate entrance for when I bring boys home, ha ha ha.” or “I bought a house across the river. It sure feels big and lonesome all by myself!” or “I live down the street, want to see my apartment right now?” If she’s not interested for whatever reason, you’ll probably get a one word answer like “Downtown.” ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/348 "2012-11-26T01:07:12Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > If she’s single and interested, you’ll get something like “Oh, I rent a room from an old lady up north, but I have a separate entrance for when I bring boys home, ha ha ha.” or “I bought a house across the river. It sure feels big and lonesome all by myself!” or “I live down the street, want to see my apartment right now?” Women say shit like this. Are you serious? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/349 "2012-11-26T01:10:46Z")
I’m having a hard time being offended by this thread on a feminist level. Obviously no one wants to be hit on all the time, but the OP was just talking to a woman and was interested in her. Does it have to be any deeper than that? It’s not like women don’t also look for wedding rings when they are scoping out a guy. But then, I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to make someone with social anxiety feel more comfortable. I do consider things like that when I interact with people. Oh, or this: [QUOTE=MeanOldLady] Here’s what I think, in case anyone gives a shit and a half. With regard to the OP, everyone who acts like he’s King Sexual Predator needs to relax. A lot. Next up, sure, it would be nice if people who were taken could subtly make it known (if not wearing a ring) that they’re unavailable to men who show interest, not because it’s the law that women everywhere tattoo VAGINA OCCUPIED on their faces, but because gently letting a guy know she’s not free is a nice thing to do that can avoid socially awkward situations. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/350 "2012-11-26T01:12:44Z")
Protip #2 Don’t emotionally invest yourself in someone you met five minutes ago. So she doesn’t respond to your flirting? Big deal. You don’t know her, can’t determine compatibility based on hair length, eye color, bra size, etc or any other superficial assessment of a stranger. There are plenty more chances in a day to talk with people, and there’s no reason to take rejection personally or waste the rest of the day pining away for a woman you met at the dry cleaners. Shrug it off and get psyched for the next one. MOL, it would be nice if there were a subtle way to let strange men that you aren’t interested. But subtlety isn’t a strength shy, uncertain people are good at reading. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/351 "2012-11-26T01:27:43Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Women say shit like this. Are you serious? Texas women just pull you off the barstool and drag you out to the truck. Saves time. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/352 "2012-11-26T02:12:47Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Protip #2 Don’t emotionally invest yourself in someone you met five minutes ago. So she doesn’t respond to your flirting? Big deal. You don’t know her, can’t determine compatibility based on hair length, eye color, bra size, etc or any other superficial assessment of a stranger. There are plenty more chances in a day to talk with people, and there’s no reason to take rejection personally or waste the rest of the day pining away for a woman you met at the dry cleaners. Shrug it off and get psyched for the next one. Trust me sweet heart you don’t have to teach men how to deal with rejection. Men are better with dealing with it than women are. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/353 "2012-11-26T02:28:43Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Texas women just pull you off the barstool and drag you out to the truck. Saves time. Where we brand them and check to see if they’re suitable breeding stock. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/354 "2012-11-26T03:36:00Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I’m having a hard time being offended by this thread on a feminist level. Obviously no one wants to be hit on all the time, but the OP was just talking to a woman and was interested in her. Does it have to be any deeper than that? Apparently, for some it does. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/355 "2012-11-26T05:41:00Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Women say shit like this. Are you serious? Honestly, they do. It seems you have much to learn from her. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/356 "2012-11-26T06:36:19Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > Honestly, they do. It seems you have much to learn from her. Of course, different countries have different customs when it comes to signalling availability. If only we had a seasoned traveller to advise us! ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/357 "2012-11-26T14:16:53Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > Trust me sweet heart you don’t have to teach men how to deal with rejection. Men are better with dealing with it than women are. Ha! ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/358 "2012-11-26T18:12:18Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Pro tip: An easy way to get a hint about relationship status during small talk is to ask what neighborhood someone lives in. Also, what time they prefer to shower. If they’re distracted, it helps to rifle through their purse to see if they’re armed. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/359 "2012-11-26T18:21:29Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > Well, the earliest marriage contract on record involved trading a fourteen year old girl for six cows ([lost a better cite](http://factsanddetails.com/world.php?itemid=2074&catid=56&subcatid=369)). The earliest recorded marriage (for which there was no contract) involved a kidnapping, too. - arrives, offended \* I only skimmed it but that whole thing is about Rome. That is, the _Western_ world. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/360 "2012-11-26T19:33:30Z")
Just what are you ladies pros at? :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=19)