# Dear Attractive Married Women: Plz Wear A Ring. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 17, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336 "2012-11-17T19:13:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2012, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/21 "2012-11-17T22:07:52Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > So you want to be able to ask someone out without the bother of talking with her long enough to find out whether she’s married? Ooookay. > . You’ll never get through here. We go round and round on this one. Women: “Wouldn’t you like to discover if we have anything in common before expecting me to get in a stranger’s car and sharing a meal with a man I know zero about? Don’t you care at all how I worship/vote/kids/hobbies/work?” “Butbutbut you have boobz. And I like boobz. Ima nice guy, get in mah car.” ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/22 "2012-11-18T00:01:53Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > So this week I was visiting a customer for a few days. They had a new admin assistant and holy moly, she was a goddess. Absolutely perfect. Not only beautiful, but obviously smart as hell, personable, and funny. And.. what’s that, you have a 7-year-old daughter? So do I! Awesome! And no ring on the finger! Why, I think I’ll… > > … oh, your husband. Ah! Great! Let’s talk about that! Damn. > > Come on, that’s just mean. Ladies, put your rings on. C’mon, don’t get my hopes up like that. It’s just cruel to us single middle aged guys. Here’s an idea: actually get to know the PERSON before you start hitting on her, instead of going “ooh, pretty piece of meat”. You see, when you actually know the human being, things like marital status tend to become known. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/23 "2012-11-18T00:21:52Z")
> [@Hamlet](#): > > Ooooooooh. Here I’ve been licking THEIR eyebrows. That explains all those restraining orders. The restraining orders came because of where your eyes were while you were licking their eyebrows. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/24 "2012-11-18T00:23:45Z")
Yeah, really. The idea that women should be obligated to nonverbally signal “vagina vacancy available” … ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/25 "2012-11-18T00:28:25Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Come on, that’s just mean. Ladies, put your rings on. C’mon, don’t get my hopes up like that. It’s just cruel to us single middle aged guys. To hell with you - I’m not wearing rings because I don’t want my fingers ripped off in the machine tools I use at work. But then, I suspect I’m not the sort of female you’re after anyway. Hey, here’s an idea - if you’re interested in a woman _ask her_ if she’s “available” or already in a relationship. You know, like you’d ask another man for information about something, except the human you’re addressing just happens to be a woman. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/26 "2012-11-18T00:58:08Z")
Well, that’s a lot easier than male black widow spiders have it. They politely inquire as to their status as a prospective mate only to find that they are considered food. But they go ahead and do it anyway. Not very smart. Luckily, we are much smarter than that, and can entirely ignore such Darwinian hard-wiring. Or so I’m told. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/27 "2012-11-18T01:09:00Z")
And I don’t see how this is a problem at all to a man who is already risking rejection. Scenario I A: “Would you like to go out with me?” B: “Sorry, no. I’m married, you see.” Scenario II A: “Would you like to go out with me?” B: “Sorry, no. I would rather not.” [I find repulsive the idea of a sexual relationship with you.] Scenario I is a lot less embarrassing and humiliating, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/28 "2012-11-18T01:32:53Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > So you want to be able to ask someone out without the bother of talking with her long enough to find out whether she’s married? Ooookay. > [@Seanette](#): > > Here’s an idea: actually get to know the PERSON before you start hitting on her, instead of going “ooh, pretty piece of meat”. You see, when you actually know the human being, things like marital status tend to become known. What part of _“Not only beautiful, but obviously smart as hell, personable, and funny. And.. what’s that, you have a 7-year-old daughter?”_ did you guys misunderstand? Obviously the OP was getting to know the woman before asking her out. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/29 "2012-11-18T01:38:41Z")
ITT: Women get offended and men pretend to be offended so that they look all progressive and shit to the women. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/30 "2012-11-18T01:46:09Z")
How about the middle aged men stop assuming stuff about women based on their jewelry or lack thereof? OK, he was “getting to know her” and found out she’s married and now he’s “hurt”. Uh… what? She’s there doing her _job_, not auditioning to be a girlfriend. Maybe he shouldn’t set himself up to be disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/31 "2012-11-18T01:56:24Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > ITT: Women get offended and men pretend to be offended so that they look all progressive and shit to the women. No, it’s legit. A woman at a bar can expect to be hit on. A woman at work, the grocery, her job, etc would prefer to be regarded as a person, not a pussy. I have never worn relationship jewelry, and resent being considered fair game because I’m female and without a circular dick deflector on my ring finger. “But Og find woman! Og want woman! Woman no want Og! Og smash things in rage and call woman bitch and lesbian! World revolve around Og’s dick!!” ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/32 "2012-11-18T02:01:59Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Can’t wear my ring, it rubs and causes calluses when I use my collapsible aluminum walking stick. I love you (platonically) and consider your husband to be a very lucky man! ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/33 "2012-11-18T02:02:01Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > What part of _“Not only beautiful, but obviously smart as hell, personable, and funny. And.. what’s that, you have a 7-year-old daughter?”_ did you guys misunderstand? Obviously the OP was getting to know the woman before asking her out. Wouldn’t getting to know someone well enough to be considering anything more than attempting to get sex include finding out if she’s married? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/34 "2012-11-18T02:16:39Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > How about the middle aged men stop assuming stuff about women based on their jewelry or lack thereof? > > OK, he was “getting to know her” and found out she’s married and now he’s “hurt”. Uh… what? She’s there doing her _job_, not auditioning to be a girlfriend. Maybe he shouldn’t set himself up to be disappointed. You’re a sour little lemon, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/35 "2012-11-18T02:21:35Z")
Damn, y’all need to calm down. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/36 "2012-11-18T02:22:59Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > I love you (platonically) and consider your husband to be a very lucky man! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/37 "2012-11-18T02:25:04Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > You’re a sour little lemon, aren’t you? You don’t care about your femur at all, do you? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/38 "2012-11-18T02:34:08Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Damn, y’all need to calm down. Eh. Just blowin off steam, OP style. Getting put on the spot from time to time kinda sucks, though. Guess we’ll call it even since we’re such tricky bitches. Take me, for instance. I sit at my desk for 8 hours each day just plotting ways to attract men, lead them on, then smash their dreams. Between that and authoring the Keeping Men from Getting Laid newsletter that goes out to all women everywhere weekly, I barely have the time to shop for a good push up bra. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/39 "2012-11-18T02:51:52Z")
There’s an app for that. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/40 "2012-11-18T02:54:45Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > How about the middle aged men stop assuming stuff about women based on their jewelry or lack thereof? > > OK, he was “getting to know her” and found out she’s married and now he’s “hurt”. Uh… what? She’s there doing her _job_, not auditioning to be a girlfriend. Maybe he shouldn’t set himself up to be disappointed. > [@Troppus](#): > > No, it’s legit. A woman at a bar can expect to be hit on. A woman at work, the grocery, her job, etc would prefer to be regarded as a person, not a pussy. I have never worn relationship jewelry, and resent being considered fair game because I’m female and without a circular dick deflector on my ring finger. > > “But Og find woman! Og want woman! Woman no want Og! Og smash things in rage and call woman bitch and lesbian! World revolve around Og’s dick!!” Ah so men can’t meet women and ask them out in the real world, only in bars? They can’t ask a woman they happen to find attractive out on a date in the workplace? At the grocery store? Are men even allowed to find women attractive anymore, or are we just supposed to keep our eyes on the ground until a woman gives us permission to look up and/or flirt via a notarized letter? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=3)