# Dear Attractive Married Women: Plz Wear A Ring. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 17, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336 "2012-11-17T19:13:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 26
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/501 "2012-11-30T03:18:00Z")
> [@SouthernGuy](#): > > Not really trying to win cred per say… Nitpick: _per se_. We now return to your regularly scheduled… whatever this thread is. > [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > No mystery. If a woman’s pregnant, it’s just proof she puts out. 😃 I hear the body has ways of shutting that down otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/502 "2012-11-30T04:49:50Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Nitpick: _per se_. We now return to your regularly scheduled… whatever this thread is. Splinters, for those trying to follow along at home. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/503 "2012-11-30T05:27:41Z")
> [@tim314](#): > > Maybe it is… do you mind me asking roughly how old you are? I’m in my early 30’s and my experience of what’s typical is clearly quite different. If anything, I’d say after you’ve known someone for “quite some time” it’s harder to transition to a romantic relationship, because they already see you as “just a friend”. I’m 55. Funny how things have changed - back then there was no problem with transitioning to romance with someone you’d known as a friend for a length of time. It was sort of expected I think. > [@](#): > > I find it even more surprising that you seem surprised by this. There are enumerable T.V. shows and movies where one character says to another “Can I take you out to dinner sometime?” or something to that affect. Not that Hollywood is a faithful reproduction of real life, but I would have thought that particular interaction would be pretty well ingrained in our cultural norms. I’ve never really believed that sort of thing reflected real life (tho I guess it now does), plus I don’t watch all that much TV of that sort so… > [@Freakenstein](#): > > To decent guys it matters. They saw the ring and tried nothing. > In fact a ring might even encourage creeps: it tells You’re experienced - probably not sleeping around much ( and therefore have no diseases ) - should You get pregnant there’s already a father for it - the ego boost it gives if You’re risking all for a night with him and whatever… :rolleyes: Yeah, I can see that being like a challenge to some guys. > [@](#): > > **Curlcoat** , **Troppus** and some others: do You believe in love at first sight? The kind that has nothing carnal in it ( at first at least ). No, I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I also wouldn’t say it could never happen. > [@](#): > > That’s why I’m actually slightly offended when You paint Us guys just hunters who are always looking for a place to unload. We’re not animals, You know. I think many if not most men are hunters unless/until they find that one woman who changes their outlook. Or they run out of steam. Or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/504 "2012-11-30T06:44:30Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > I’m 55. Funny how things have changed - back then there was no problem with transitioning to romance with someone you’d known as a friend for a length of time. It was sort of expected I think. Why do you assume it must be a generational thing and not, say, an individual thing? ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/505 "2012-11-30T06:58:41Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Why do you assume it must be a generational thing and not, say, an individual thing? Because this is the straight dope. Despite 90% of all dopers in excess of 140 IQ, that same 90% can’t comprehend that there are people that like tattoo’s. ---
**Author:** ![Freakenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b782af/32.png) [@Freakenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freakenstein)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/506 "2012-11-30T07:29:13Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > No, I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I also wouldn’t say it could never happen. I guess that nobody believes it until it happens to them. I know I didn’t. > [@](#): > > I think many if not most men are hunters unless/until they find that one woman who changes their outlook. Or they run out of steam. Or whatever. Which proves that I have been wasting My time here commenting. We obviously see things very different way. Teen age boys are a different thing ( or jerks that never grow up ). Maybe You’re a creep magnet, pretty enough to be hit on but too scary to mild-mannered guys to be considered as a lifetime partner. Or whatever. Also, if You think love at first sight is an illusion, how in the world You do believe that a woman can change a man?!? Now THAT is an illusion. ( There have been more than 300 posts after the OP last time commented and this haven’t been about him after 20 posts. Please let this thread die now, it’s in agony ) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/507 "2012-11-30T07:34:08Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > Because this is the straight dope. > > Despite 90% of all dopers in excess of 140 IQ, that same 90% can’t comprehend that there are people that like tattoo’s. Or that pluralisation doesn’t call for apostrophes. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/508 "2012-11-30T08:43:14Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Or that pluralisation doesn’t call for apostrophes. Touche. Fortunately I estimate my IQ to be 139.99999 so I’m exempt from my own rant. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/509 "2012-11-30T08:59:35Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > In your example, sounds like you were dealing with a person who wasn’t stable or trustworthy, so I’m puzzled as to why you felt love for her. You certainly weren’t “in love” as that takes two. Do you believe in unrequited love? On another forum I went to, a woman claimed that unrequited love was impossible, despite the Divine Comedy and other examples. I think it’s possible, for instance, for someone to go to work in love with their partner, return home in love with their partner, only to find that their partner has met some unfortunate end in the meantime. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/510 "2012-11-30T12:09:32Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > I was complimented, flirted with, and propositioned more the last three months I was duck waddling pregnant than in the previous 41 years. Hmmm… I think I have it. Your boobs got bigger during pregnancy, didn’t they? ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/511 "2012-11-30T12:31:14Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > But I clearly don’t know what the hell men are thinking and I don’t understand men at all, because I was complimented, flirted with, and propositioned more the last three months I was duck waddling pregnant than in the previous 41 years. You guys are into some weird shit. No wonder guys get all bent out of shape if an average woman turns them down, cause some of you sure seem willing to go the extra mile. You really don’t have a clue as to why? This is one of the most bizarre threads I’ve read in a while. ---
**Author:** ![Freakenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b782af/32.png) [@Freakenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freakenstein)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/512 "2012-11-30T17:23:43Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > But at that first meeting when you decided she was the one you loved, did she have a vote? You think I had a vote? ( ‘sigh’ ) > [@](#): > > Did you know or care if she was available, interested, gay, or attracted to you? No, no, no &c… > [@](#): > > Because it sounds like you didn’t know or care about any of those things. You picked her like an object for sale with zero regard for her wants or needs. > Glad it worked out for you, but I’m not seeing the fairy tale you are. I’m seeing “I was smitten but didn’t know or care if she was.” I feel pretty much that I’m explaining colours to a blind person. She’s not perfect, never was and never will be. And I don’t care her flaws. I’m so tired of this… goodbye and ignore Me, I probably won’t come back to this thread anymore, I don’t want to keep hitting My head to the wall. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/513 "2012-11-30T18:08:04Z")
Love at first sight may exist, but it’s only thanks to blind luck. Plenty of people fall madly in love with people who are entirely unsuitable for them, hence pretty much the entirety of our literary and musical canon. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/514 "2012-11-30T21:35:54Z")
> [@Freakenstein](#): > > I feel pretty much that I’m explaining colours to a blind person. > She’s not perfect, never was and never will be. > And I don’t care her flaws. > > I’m so tired of this… goodbye and ignore Me, I probably won’t come back to this thread anymore, I don’t want to keep hitting My head to the wall. It sounds like you and yours have a mutual thing since the beginning, and neither a poet nor songwriter would take you to task for describing it as destiny, smitten, taken with, or love at first sight. One of the many rabbit trails in this thread involves claims of love at first sight and unrequited love when things are clearly one-sided. Some guy wasting months or years pining away for a disinterested woman is not “in love”, he’s obsessed. It doesn’t devalue \* your \* experience; one sided obsession doesn’t apply to your experience. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/515 "2012-11-30T21:43:03Z")
> [@fisha](#): > > You really don’t have a clue as to why? > > This is one of the most bizarre threads I’ve read in a while. If you’re thinking it was the boobs, then I have grossly underestimated the value of breasts. Because there was no position I can imagine that would allow access to my breasts without circumventing my ridiculously huge, round stomach with a popped bellybutton. The cost/benefit just doesn’t add up. Anyways, my breasts spent the last three months migrating to points east and west in an apparent attempt to escape my waxing tummy, so the presentation was decidedly unconventional. I looked like a cartoon. Guys can be weird, in my estimation. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/516 "2012-12-01T00:25:11Z")
Just have to put out there the fact that some heterosexual men find pregnant women to be insanely sexy. Insanely sexy. Unspeakably sexy in a primal manner. I’m one of 'em. While the re-arranging of your normal pre-fecundity profile may have been the source of irritation or at least dismay, it is entirely possible that a man was moved to more than glance your way. Popped belly button and all. 🙂 Now, I mean no disrespect to women who have expressed intense feelings of feeling UNSEXY when pregnant. I get it. However, there’s no denying the way some men are wired around women who are expecting. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/517 "2012-12-01T01:38:04Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Just have to put out there the fact that some heterosexual men find pregnant women to be insanely sexy. To me, any woman who is attractive gets even more attractive when she’s pregnant. Pregnancy belly is not a bug that counterbalances larger breasts; it’s a feature. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/518 "2012-12-01T03:59:58Z")
Ew ew ewwww. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/519 "2012-12-01T05:10:55Z")
Actually I thought it was because a pregnant woman is ‘safe’ to flirt with. You both know it’s not going anywhere. Wrong again. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/520 "2012-12-01T14:41:15Z")
Dear attractive married ewomen: Please Wear a Thong…sounds better to me!😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=25) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=27)