# Dear Attractive Married Women: Plz Wear A Ring. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 17, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336 "2012-11-17T19:13:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/41 "2012-11-18T02:55:18Z")
As the traditional income disparity is erased; as social acceptance of lesbianism empowers women to realize their true preferences; as men grow in awareness that feminism has, for the better, made this a consensus-based society and less a battering-ram one: we men are going to increasingly start backing off. Those of you women who want us men are just going to have to start asking us out. Once this becomes the new norm, we’ll all wonder why it wasn’t always so. Because really, we’re easy. “He’s cute. You think he puts out?” ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/42 "2012-11-18T03:00:05Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > As the traditional income disparity is erased; as social acceptance of lesbianism empowers women to realize their true preferences; as men grow in awareness that feminism has, for the better, made this a consensus-based society and less a battering-ram one: we men are going to increasingly start backing off. Those of you women who want us men are just going to have to start asking us out. Once this becomes the new norm, we’ll all wonder why it wasn’t always so. Because really, we’re easy. “He’s cute. You think he puts out?” Sign me up. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/43 "2012-11-18T03:05:36Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Ah so men can’t meet women and ask them out in the real world, only in bars? They can’t ask a woman they happen to find attractive out on a date in the workplace? At the grocery store? Are men even allowed to find women attractive anymore, or are we just supposed to keep our eyes on the ground until a woman gives us permission to look up and/or flirt via a notarized letter? Sure you can. But what if you fall in love? Do you really want to marry a woman who wanders off with every strange man who asks her out in the store? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/44 "2012-11-18T03:09:32Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Sure you can. But what if you fall in love? Do you really want to marry a woman who wanders off with every strange man who asks her out in the store? Are you serious? ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/45 "2012-11-18T03:13:22Z")
Nevertheless Troppus, I’m sorry you think of all men who are attracted to you as Og. Have you really never been just talking to someone and they look down and say “aw, you’re married” and just felt flattered? That’s sort of sad. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/46 "2012-11-18T03:20:25Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Wouldn’t getting to know someone well enough to be considering anything more than attempting to get sex include finding out if she’s married? I think you’re projecting here. The OP said he was interested in the woman because she was smart as hell and personable and funny and they had things in common. Nothing about him checking out her boobs and thinking he’d like to nail her. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/47 "2012-11-18T03:23:55Z")
> [@scratch\_llll](#): > > Nevertheless Troppus, I’m sorry you think of all men who are attracted to you as Og. Have you really never been just talking to someone and they look down and say “aw, you’re married” and just felt flattered? That’s sort of sad. Sure I have. And if the OP had been started in another forum, I’d have responded in a manner befitting that type of conversation. Since this is the Pit, all the Ogs who have crashed my workspace, grocery trips, and post office visits can get lost, creep. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/48 "2012-11-18T03:25:22Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Are you serious? Do you expect strangers you ask out simply because you find them pretty to go out with you? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/49 "2012-11-18T03:45:56Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Do you expect strangers you ask out simply because you find them pretty to go out with you? What the fuck are you talking about? I want to get back to what you actually said. Let me understand this: You think that if I met my wife in a grocery store, you think she’s more likely to wander off with someone else she meets in the grocery store…because she met \*me \*in a grocery store? And so that’s why people shouldn’t meet and fall in love in places like grocery stores? Or work? Or other places in the real world? ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/50 "2012-11-18T03:50:02Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Sure I have. And if the OP had been started in another forum, I’d have responded in a manner befitting that type of conversation. Since this is the Pit, all the Ogs who have crashed my workspace, grocery trips, and post office visits can get lost, creep. Beg pardon? You are calling me a creep for my innocuous post or the just the guys you have to wade though so much they annoy you? I’ll grant I don’t get hit on so much that I have any understanding of that problem but it seems an odd reaction. And sad. Personally I haven’t had my ring off in so long it would take an axe to get it off. ---
**Author:** ![palacheck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e57/32.png) [@palacheck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palacheck)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/51 "2012-11-18T05:34:11Z")
> [@scratch\_llll](#): > > Beg pardon? You are calling me a creep for my innocuous post or the just the guys you have to wade though so much they annoy you? I’ll grant I don’t get hit on so much that I have any understanding of that problem but it seems an odd reaction. And sad. Personally I haven’t had my ring off in so long it would take an axe to get it off. It’s so much quicker to read through these kinds of threads once you’ve identified the hacky, cliched man-haters/woman-haters of the Dope. Teach yourself to ignore posts by people like **Troppus** , **Broomstick** , and **Der Trihs** (among others) in threads that involve dating, or sex, or gender differences. 9 times out of 10 it’s utterly valueless, and often just plain insane. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/52 "2012-11-18T07:20:32Z")
Wedding rings are meaningless. Sometimes it just takes a little longer with married women. I’m a cynic, pay no attention. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/53 "2012-11-18T07:30:43Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > So you want to be able to ask someone out without the bother of talking with her long enough to find out whether she’s married? Ooookay. You have to admit the ring would make the process a hell of a lot simpler and, potentially, less uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/54 "2012-11-18T07:49:30Z")
Wedding rings work the opposite way on men. A wedding ring is like a stamp of approval. Like shopping for a certified pre-owned car. You have been inspected and have passed. Women know that someone else has already done all the hard exploritory work and deemed this man to be worthy of sleeping with. You are also seen as safer to talk to. “Ooooh, that’s a nice ring, can I see it?” So I give it to the woman so she can read the ingraving inside it. My wife had this ingraved inside the ring, says; “Put it back on!” 😃 True story. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/55 "2012-11-18T08:33:57Z")
It’s different with lesbians. They happily ignore any ring on your finger and still leave you their number on a card. Sometimes if you tell them you’re in a committed relationship, they bring up doing a threesome. Ask me how I know this (looking through my card collection…) ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/56 "2012-11-18T08:41:14Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > “Sorry, but I’m a lesbian.” > “Well, shit, why don’t you at least dress like one!” > “It just now happened.” Irish man meets a woman in a bar. They strike up an instant rapport, much craic was had. Towards closing time, the man asks the woman to go back home with him. She apologises: “I’m a lesbian”. The man says “hoi toi toi, I don’t discriminate, I’m from Galway meself”. > [@Troppus](#): > > “But Og find woman! Og want woman! Woman no want Og! Og smash things in rage and call woman bitch and lesbian! World revolve around Og’s dick!!” This is my new favourite creation myth. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/57 "2012-11-18T09:13:01Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > The pictures of the husband on her desk were a hell of a bit of foresight. 🙂 Lol, I agree if that’s how you learned then my “white lie” hypothesis is probably incorrect. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/58 "2012-11-18T09:56:57Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > They can’t ask a woman they happen to find attractive out on a date in the workplace? Sure they can ask. But when she says “no” it’s unreasonable for them to call her a deceitful bitch or whine she didn’t advertise her “taken” status ahead of time. He has a right to ask. She has a right to decline, or not, as she chooses for whatever reason she has. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/59 "2012-11-18T10:23:26Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I think you’re projecting here. The OP said he was interested in the woman because she was smart as hell and personable and funny and they had things in common. Nothing about him checking out her boobs and thinking he’d like to nail her. He’s still acting all outraged that she dared not be available to him, and couldn’t be bothered to find out such a basic piece of information before asking her out and was all whiny about how she dared to not advertise her status. That qualifies as “what? can’t have pretty piece of meat? WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” to me. If you disagree, so be it. My opinion on this is highly unlikely to change, thanks to the whine factor of the OP. I do wear a wedding ring myself, but do not believe that male co-workers are entitled to demand that I do so, so that they don’t have to bother to know enough about me as a HUMAN BEING to know that I’m married. ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/60 "2012-11-18T10:58:38Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Can’t wear my ring, it rubs and causes calluses when I use my collapsible aluminum walking stick. How about that - ignorance inadvertently fought! I was just wondering where this new callus came from. Thank you! Now I can join the unringed hordes of temptresses and leave a trail of disappointed men in my hobbling wake. Carry on. (Oh, and OP? I wasn’t aiming that at you.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=4)