# Dear Attractive Married Women: Plz Wear A Ring. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 17, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336 "2012-11-17T19:13:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/61 "2012-11-18T12:47:39Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > It’s different with lesbians. They happily ignore any ring on your finger and still leave you their number on a card. Sometimes if you tell them you’re in a committed relationship, they bring up doing a threesome. As a guy, I feel you pain. Well, I feel something. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/62 "2012-11-18T13:11:09Z")
> [@palacheck](#): > > It’s so much quicker to read through these kinds of threads once you’ve identified the hacky, cliched man-haters/woman-haters of the Dope. > > Teach yourself to ignore posts by people like **Troppus** , **Broomstick** , and **Der Trihs** (among others) in threads that involve dating, or sex, or gender differences. > > 9 times out of 10 it’s utterly valueless, and often just plain insane. I think you’ll find it’s only a certain type of man that we find unpleasant. Most men are awesome and I enjoy a good one whenever opportunity presents. It’s the "You women deliberately make it so hard to get your panties off/why do you date jerks/but you girls dig confidence so go out with me/PUA guys we aren’t inclined to entertain. Treat us like people and if the attraction is there: panties on the floor. Regard us as a means to your satisfaction: we’ll politely decline and bitch about you right here in the appropriate forum. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/63 "2012-11-18T13:30:06Z")
Gee I wonder what the **first thing** women do to detect if a man be single ? Answer: The same damn thing that men do, check for a ring. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/64 "2012-11-18T13:54:28Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > It’s different with lesbians. They happily ignore any ring on your finger and still leave you their number on a card. Sometimes if you tell them you’re in a committed relationship, they bring up doing a threesome. Ask me how I know this (looking through my card collection…) Wow, I thought that since pornos lied about how awesome it was to be a pizza delivery guy, they were also lying about the lesbian threesome popularity. Ignorance fought! Why the hell aren’t you writing staff reports about this kind of stuff? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/65 "2012-11-18T14:09:29Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > Gee I wonder what the **first thing** women do to detect if a man be single ? > > Answer: The same damn thing that men do, check for a ring. I can only speak for myself, but by the time I’ve decided a man is appealing, I know enough about him to determine his eligibility even if he isn’t wearing an engagement ring (they don’t) or wedding band (they seem to wear them less often than women.) Not once in my life have I ever thought hmm, no ring. Fair game! ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/66 "2012-11-18T14:09:48Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Eh. Just blowin off steam, OP style. Getting put on the spot from time to time kinda sucks, though. Guess we’ll call it even since we’re such tricky bitches. Take me, for instance. I sit at my desk for 8 hours each day just plotting ways to attract men, lead them on, then smash their dreams. Between that and authoring the Keeping Men from Getting Laid newsletter that goes out to all women everywhere weekly, I barely have the time to shop for a good push up bra. Chill, brah. I’m a dame too, and have also been hit on inappropriately. Kinda sucks a lot of asshole. Still, I’m not seeing how this went from “It’s a bummer when a woman I’m attracted to is taken” to “I hate your ovaries, foul wench!” ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/67 "2012-11-18T14:25:37Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > I can only speak for myself, but by the time I’ve decided a man is appealing, I know enough about him to determine his eligibility even if he isn’t wearing an engagement ring (they don’t) or wedding band (they seem to wear them less often than women.) > > Not once in my life have I ever thought hmm, no ring. Fair game! Bullshit. Us men know as well just because a woman isn’t wearing a ring doesn’t mean she’s fair game. But it’s the **first thing** both men and women look for if you find a person attractive. It’s ok to admit it there’s nothing wrong with it. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/68 "2012-11-18T14:31:26Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > Bullshit. > > Us men know as well just because a woman isn’t wearing a ring doesn’t mean she’s fair game. But it’s the **first thing** both men and women look for if you find a person attractive. > > It’s ok to admit it there’s nothing wrong with it. I really don’t consider every man I stumble across to be a potential partner, so the presence or absence of ring isn’t an important piece of information. Definitely not the first thing I notice or look for. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/69 "2012-11-18T15:05:10Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Chill, brah. I’m a dame too, and have also been hit on inappropriately. Kinda sucks a lot of asshole. Still, I’m not seeing how this went from “It’s a bummer when a woman I’m attracted to is taken” to “I hate your ovaries, foul wench!” I know, right? I think some people need to get laid. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/70 "2012-11-18T15:06:38Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > You have to admit the ring would make the process a hell of a lot simpler and, potentially, less uncomfortable. As I said before, a ton of unmarried women consider themselves unavailable and will turn you down. It’s no longer useful, as a matter of statistics, to just be able to identify those who are legally married on sight. Really, if we were living in times in which a wedding ring would make it that much more simple, then, really, we would be in a time in which knowing that a woman has a child would also be a reliable signal that she’s off limits. And why is it a lot simpler? You’re basically just trying to get _one more_ small bit of information. It’s not hard to get, and there’s no significant difference in embarrassment, humiliation, or loss of dignity in adding that one question—“are you married?” if you are already planning to follow up with “do you want to go out?” And aside from the rational considerations, it’s just not reasonable for you to demand that married women must advertise their “vagina occupied” status just to save you a moment’s awkwardness. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/71 "2012-11-18T15:11:39Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > I really don’t consider every man I stumble across to be a potential partner, so the presence or absence of ring isn’t an important piece of information. Definitely not the first thing I notice or look for. Hey, I thought you are married and had a baby to feed, no wonder you aren’t looking. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/72 "2012-11-18T15:16:57Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > Hey, I thought you are married and had a baby to feed, no wonder you aren’t looking. 😃 Most women have selection criteria beyond presence/absence of penis. Thus, even if we are unattached and looking, there is some filtering going on. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/73 "2012-11-18T15:18:49Z")
Eh, I check for a ring when I meet a cute fellow as a preliminary weeding type process. Not that I potentially want to go out with every non-married guy I meet, but they, as a group, are more interesting than the married guys at least as potential dating material. Yes, yes, the poor man is just there to do his job and I shouldn’t be objectifying him by chatting with him and idly wondering if he’s available, but I’m a very bad person so it’s ok. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/74 "2012-11-18T15:24:27Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > Hey, I thought you are married and had a baby to feed, no wonder you aren’t looking. 😃 That’s true! But I never wear a wedding ring, or any jewelry at all. And I’m not about to put on a ring so strange guys know not to mack on me before finding out the most basic information about my existence. Compliments and banter are welcome, being spanked with an indignant “Well why aren’t you wearing a ring?!?” not so welcome. At least I can laugh about those boneheads here 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/75 "2012-11-18T15:31:20Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Yes, yes, the poor man is just there to do his job and I shouldn’t be objectifying him by chatting with him and idly wondering if he’s available, but I’m a very bad person so it’s ok. Hell I idly wonder all kinds of interesting things about men at work, I just don’t put them on the spot until after I’ve at least pretended to have an interest in their lives. Gotta warm them up first. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/76 "2012-11-18T15:32:24Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > And aside from the rational considerations, it’s just not reasonable for you to demand that married women must advertise their “vagina occupied” status just to save you a moment’s awkwardness. You are perhaps taking this in _slightly_ more grave a manner than the OP was intended. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/77 "2012-11-18T15:33:47Z")
Although that might not be a bad idea. Next time I get married, I’m going to buy a “Vagina Occupied” tee shirt. Perhaps an accompanying fleece as well for the winter weather. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/78 "2012-11-18T15:35:53Z")
nvm ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/79 "2012-11-18T16:28:23Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Dear Attractive Married Men: Plz Stop Being Married. Sorry about that. Don’t wear a ring either.\* \*for one thing, given the number of times my occupation demands hand-washing in the course of a day, a ring would long ago have turned green or accidentally fallen down a drain. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/80 "2012-11-18T16:28:30Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > Wow, I thought that since pornos lied about how awesome it was to be a pizza delivery guy, they were also lying about the lesbian threesome popularity. Ignorance fought! Why the hell aren’t you writing staff reports about this kind of stuff? That’s a good question. It will require a lot of field work, I can tell. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=5)