# Dear Attractive Married Women: Plz Wear A Ring. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 17, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336 "2012-11-17T19:13:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/81 "2012-11-18T16:30:47Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > As a guy, I feel you pain. Well, I feel something. Ironically I feel nothing, except embarrassment for having to let them down. Monogamy all the way for me. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/82 "2012-11-18T16:32:18Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > Gee I wonder what the **first thing** women do to detect if a man be single ? > > Answer: The same damn thing that men do, check for a ring. What a load of bullshit - even fewer married men wear rings than married women do. Like I said: _ask the person_. It’s a much more reliable indicator that what they do or don’t wear on their hands. And let’s face it - a lot of men don’t care if the woman is single or married, they’ll hit on her either way. Plenty of people see marriage as just a speed bump towards an affair and not a real obstacle. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/83 "2012-11-18T16:35:52Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Although that might not be a bad idea. Next time I get married, I’m going to buy a “Vagina Occupied” tee shirt. Perhaps an accompanying fleece as well for the winter weather. Get one of those cute ones that says “My vagina is occupied and all I got was this lousy tee shirt!” Then your husband could wear one that says “I’m with her vagina -----\>”. No reason dashing hope can’t be fun and lighthearted. ---
**Author:** ![doctor\_krieger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@doctor\_krieger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doctor_krieger)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/84 "2012-11-18T16:48:41Z")
As a fellow single dude I get your frustration, but she doesn’t have to wear a ring to show off her marriage if she doesn’t want to. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/85 "2012-11-18T16:57:02Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > You are perhaps taking this in _slightly_ more grave a manner than the OP was intended. You mean the OP where you angrily denounced that whore of a slut for falsely advertising her attractive meatself to you and then whorishly withholding it at the last moment? It was pretty clear to me that you were in desperate need of repeated explanations that it’s possible to ask a woman if she’s married or maybe just treat her like a person and simply be friends with her for several years in which case the information will come out naturally and also how dare you. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/86 "2012-11-18T17:03:09Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > He’s still acting all outraged that she dared not be available to him, and couldn’t be bothered to find out such a basic piece of information before asking her out and was all whiny about how she dared to not advertise her status. Huh. I didn’t get that from the OP at all. Maybe some wry ruefulness. Which is almost as bad. I guess. Somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/87 "2012-11-18T17:15:10Z")
Forget rings indicating marriage, I’d like to have rings for overly sensitive assholes so I know who to avoid talking to. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/88 "2012-11-18T17:35:28Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Forget rings indicating marriage, I’d like to have rings for overly sensitive assholes so I know who to avoid talking to. Or hats maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/89 "2012-11-18T17:47:40Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Damn, y’all need to calm down. Yeah. > [@Giraffe](#): > > You mean the OP where you angrily denounced that whore of a slut for falsely advertising her attractive meatself to you and then whorishly withholding it at the last moment? It was pretty clear to me that you were in desperate need of repeated explanations that it’s possible to ask a woman if she’s married or maybe just treat her like a person and simply be friends with her for several years in which case the information will come out naturally and also how dare you. Yeah! I like this one better! {Picks up pitchfork, joins villagers} ---
**Author:** ![Freakenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b782af/32.png) [@Freakenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freakenstein)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/90 "2012-11-18T17:49:51Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Sure they can ask. But when she says “no” it’s unreasonable for them to call her a deceitful bitch or whine she didn’t advertise her “taken” status ahead of time. He has a right to ask. She has a right to decline, or not, as she chooses for whatever reason she has. > [@Seanette](#): > > He’s still acting all outraged that she dared not be available to him, and couldn’t be bothered to find out such a basic piece of information before asking her out and was all whiny about how she dared to not advertise her status. I didn’t see any name-calling or outrage in the OP, he evens say plz. To Me he was more like heartbroken. And I didn’t see anything indicating that he does not any more think that she is ‘_Absolutely perfect. Not only beautiful, but obviously smart as hell, personable, and funny_’. He fell down high and obviously don’t want this to happen again. And he didn’t even ask her yet, he was just noticing things he liked, trying to get to know her better before asking. Isn’t this exactly what You are saying he should have done. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/91 "2012-11-18T17:50:35Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Like I said: _ask the person_. It’s a much more reliable indicator that what they do or don’t wear on their hands. I agree. It’s important to ask if you’re married so you can casually slip in that your spouse is in a wheelchair. Then you can misconstrue something they say as them suggesting that you should divorce him for it and get all self-righteously indignant about it. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/92 "2012-11-18T18:25:06Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Here’s an idea: actually get to know the PERSON before you start hitting on her, instead of going “ooh, pretty piece of meat”. You see, when you actually know the human being, things like marital status tend to become known. So, only ask her out after you’ve already had two or three dates with her, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/93 "2012-11-18T18:27:07Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Wedding rings are meaningless. Sometimes it just takes a little longer with married women. > > I’m a cynic, pay no attention. You’re an honest man, and you don’t want people to hate you for it. 😛 ``` Married women are often so eager that they will act out inappropriately in public places. Corner you in the elevator. Touch you a little too intimately in the break room. Let it be known, in the course of casual workplace conversation, that she and her husband are "no longer intimate". What am *I* doing this weekend? My usual round of activities. I can only assume that you'll be spending the weekend with your husband and your two young children. The ones whose pictures decorate your cubicle. You know, the ones you say you love so much. "I could get away for a couple of hours," she says, with shiny eyes like a hungry. cat. An appalling answer to a question I never asked. ``` Marriage don’t really got nothin to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/94 "2012-11-18T18:27:39Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > I agree. It’s important to ask if you’re married so you can casually slip in that your spouse is in a wheelchair. Then you can misconstrue something they say as them suggesting that you should divorce him for it and get all self-righteously indignant about it. _wheels in gurney, begins mixing up plaster of Paris_ ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/95 "2012-11-18T18:33:51Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > You have to admit the ring would make the process a hell of a lot simpler and, potentially, less uncomfortable. Maybe, but that shouldn’t matter since you’re still going to be friends with her, right? I mean, since you have so much in common, and she sounds like someone you would continue to enjoy spending time with even with. Surely you don’t plan to forget all about her since she’s sleeping with someone else. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/96 "2012-11-18T18:36:58Z")
> [@scratch\_llll](#): > > Beg pardon? You are calling me a creep for my innocuous post or the just the guys you have to wade though so much they annoy you? I’ll grant I don’t get hit on so much that I have any understanding of that problem but it seems an odd reaction. And sad. Personally I haven’t had my ring off in so long it would take an axe to get it off. Jesus Christ, when you were school-aged, you routinely scored in the bottom 1% for reading comprehension, didn’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/97 "2012-11-18T18:37:08Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > It’s different with lesbians. They happily ignore any ring on your finger and still leave you their number on a card. Sometimes if you tell them you’re in a committed relationship, they bring up doing a threesome. Ask me how I know this (looking through my card collection…) Because they know this works. Maybe not on you, but on the next married lady. ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/98 "2012-11-18T18:40:57Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > You are perhaps taking this in _slightly_ more grave a manner than the OP was intended. Eh, just because it’s light-hearted doesn’t mean there isn’t patriarchal bullshit in there. A small amount of patriarchal bullshit, sure, but feminists are still going to call it when they see it. Especially in the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/99 "2012-11-18T18:43:00Z")
How do you know when a woman is a feminist? Don’t worry, she’ll tell you. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/100 "2012-11-18T18:45:04Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > Married women are often so eager that they will act out inappropriately in public places. Corner you in the elevator. Touch you a little too intimately in the break room. Let it be known, in the course of casual workplace conversation, that she and her husband are “no longer intimate”. > > ``` > What am *I* doing this weekend? My usual round of activities. I can only assume that you'll be spending the weekend with your husband and your two young children. The ones whose pictures decorate your cubicle. You know, the ones you say you love so much. > "I could get away for a couple of hours," she says, with shiny eyes like a hungry. cat. An appalling answer to a question I never asked. > > ``` Wow. You work in a Skinemax movie? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=6)